Kondolinni
Posts: 67
Joined: 4/2/2004
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The most intense feelings I get as a Dom come from the mind-fuck aspect of D/s M/s.
In 1986, I met a girl I dated 3 or 4 times then lost touch with. On the 4 dates, she had been very willing to do whatever I told her to do. At the time I had no distinct way of looking at this dynamic. I knew nothing of BDSM or what it would come to mean to my life. She was just a chick who did what I told her to do.
Anyway, 6 months later, I am driving on the side of town where the girl lived, and I go by her apartment. She's home. On pure impulse, I pull in. By this time, I am dating a new girl. Pulling off to knock on this girl's door seems like a forbidden act. Going on impulse and adrenelin, I decide to ride the moment.
I knock on her door. She answers, and we exchange a few lines about how we never expected to meet again.... blah, blah, blah. I tell her to let me come in. She looks at me for a long second, then lets me through the door.
I go into the dining area, sit at her table. She stops at the coffee table, standing, facing me, with a look o expectancy. I turn and say to her: "I don't want to waste time with head games. I came along and saw you were home and felt like getting a piece of ass. I came here to fuck you. Take off your clothes."
It was a supreme moment of expectation. I was so caught up in waiting for her to somehow respond that I nearly missed the moment myself. She wasn't refusing to answer.
She was stripping.
I played with this girl like she was a sex toy for the next 3 hours. After I came, I got up, dressed, walked out without saying a word, drove off, and never saw her again. The whole scene was a watershed moment, even though it would be another decade before I would begin to see how important an event it had been to my development as a dominant.
As wickedly nasty as I got with this chick, nothing I did to her, with her, or made her do to me had even half the potency of sexual pique as that first moment when I arrogantly spun around in the chair to lay my base desires and expectations out for her.
What a moment of control and domination. For as long as I stayed with her that afternoon, even in my innocence vis-a-vi BDSM, I knew I owned her completely, absolutely, with no limits.
That's where my kink manifests.
In the mind, baby.
It's all in your mind.
< Message edited by Kondolinni -- 1/30/2007 8:37:40 AM >
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