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RE: Energy filtering - 1/30/2007 8:24:15 AM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KeirasSecret

Thank you for your response.

May I ask if you are refering to living 24/7 or owned 24/7?


either owned 24/7 or living and owned 24/7. He and i do not live together (He lives about 5-10 minutes away), but we consider ourselves 24/7 tpe because, as celeste says, i am available to serve him 24/7. He doesn't require it 24/7 - after all, we both like the vanillaish aspects of life, and we both work, and i go to school - but the reality is that He has as much power over me, my life, and my decisions, as He chooses to exert.

that said, partly in response to something simplymichael posted, just because not everyone is in a tpe relationship doesn't make anyone else's experience of bdsm less, imho. i get really sick and tired of reading posts that say, well, you're not 24/7, therefore your bdsm is less bdsmly than mine, or you're a submissive and not a slave, therefore your bdsm is less bdsmly than mine...i personally find that all to be silliness.

also in reference to an earlier post by him...as someone who's studied and practiced tibetan buddhist tantra (although not necessarily tantric sex as it happens in tibetan buddhism), i think that careful study and practice of the eastern philosophies on energy can be really beneficial. i must say that it's deepened my knowledge of energy work and how i approach it. that said, although my dominant is also buddhist (of a different tradition, though), i honestly don't know where his approach to energy work comes from - if it is from any particular tradition, etc. i just know it works for us. :)

(in reply to KeirasSecret)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Energy filtering - 1/30/2007 8:29:17 AM   
KeirasSecret


Posts: 415
Joined: 8/17/2006
From: central NH
Status: offline 		MasterFireMaam,

quote:

To me, what it sounds like your describing is a relationship that makes you feel happy.


This is true, but unlike any other relationship I have had, where I was presumably happy, the reasoning for it is different. With other relationships there was an excited something good is going on type of feeling; with Sir it is more of a peaceful everything is going to be alright feeling.

Also with the others, I would get a feeling of wishing I could hide within them; with Sir, I don’t feel I need to be protected like that. The strength I get from him when we are together keeps me going even when we’re not.

onestandingstill,

quote:

In scening it's that HE takes this empty vessel and fills it with full sensation,


I wonder if this is the same as what I experience when say; he walks through the door. It is like everything that makes me, me, gets tossed up in the air to make room for him. I asked him once if he felt that; he said he did.

quote:

I in turn overflow with the sensation and feed my energy he created in me back to him.


This sounds most like what I’m referring to on exchanging energies.

Is this a continual cycle for you?

Are you left with anything when it’s over or is it more like he uses up everything he creates?

quote:

In the relationship it's that he leads me like a good trusted King, and I get the security I need in following his path and choices in my life.


I can relate to this part. I have learned a lot from Sir just by his example and what he chooses to instill in me specifically, all of which carries over into the outside world.

ownedgirlie,

quote:

He is in my head, but I feel him in me in ways that are difficult to describe, when we are apart. It is a physical feeling, as well as emotional and spiritual. When we connect, we both feel it, and it's amazing stuff. 


This is very much what I am talking about (*wipes forehead* whew…..thought I might be going crazy)

quote:

The label "TPE" is not that relevant to me (I've never heard him use it, come to think of it)


Sir did not have much to say about it when I asked him, and it wasn’t something he brought up before I asked.

quote:

I will say energy exchange is as important to us as his control and authority over me is. 


I think for me, the energy exchange is what gives him the authority he has over me. The place I have to be for it to at for it to work, makes all the difference; it’s not some place I would go for just anyone.

edited because i was so excited about the conversation i forgot to add the quotes....dohh

Be well,

< Message edited by KeirasSecret -- 1/30/2007 9:06:18 AM >

_____________________________

It apears to me, the practice of "an eye for an eye" has finally taken it's toll; the majority are now walking around blind.

Bitching; whining in a louder voice.

If the truth hurts, change it!

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Energy filtering - 1/30/2007 8:33:51 AM   
junecleaver


Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline 		I think it just happens in relationships where there is a connection. I know I feel like that a lot in my own relationship.  The way we feed off of each other really does amaze me.  Sometimes, just the smallest thing he does evokes such a reaction from me and even vice versa.  Just thinking about it is...an experience.  Yay for relationships that make you happy.

_____________________________


"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

(in reply to Kondolinni)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Energy filtering - 1/30/2007 9:37:14 AM   
KeirasSecret


Posts: 415
Joined: 8/17/2006
From: central NH
Status: offline 		SimplyMichael,

quote:

I am saying that much of what we think of as new or unique isn't


I wasn’t assuming I was the only one who ever felt this before; I just wasn’t going to assume there were others, either. It was something I wanted to talk about to find out how common it is, and what others experiences were with it .

quote:

A man had a woman kneeling beside him blindfolded and was simply whispering  in her ear.


This is deffinately something that would get me going. Even when there is physical, it is more about the mental aspect then the physical act for me.

quote:

I certainly miss doing it myself.


When Sir and I were having scheduling problems over the holidays, my energies started to feel heavy again; we were able to talk online most days, but we weren’t able to get together rt.

Do you find this happens to you at all?


LuckyAlbatross,

quote:


quote:

ORIGINAL: KeirasSecret
Are there any other submissives here that can relate to what I’m saying?


Yes, but I don't consider it a 'submissive' thing.  It happens in vanillas and doms and switches and others- it's a part of becoming self-aware, and becoming able to compartmentalize and control.



I am not sure what part of my op you are referring to by the quote you used and your response.

Are you commenting on my thoughts of energy exchange, or the feelings I’m saying I get from the energy exchange?

quote:

TPE is another sort of whimsical phrase that people use for whatever purpose suits them.  But yes, generally that means more about the dynamic at play rather than your personal reactios to it.


Thanks for the clarification; it’s not that it is relevant to my relationship, but so I can understand what other people mean by it when they use it.

I like the title of the thread you listed; thanks.

Be well,

_____________________________

It apears to me, the practice of "an eye for an eye" has finally taken it's toll; the majority are now walking around blind.

Bitching; whining in a louder voice.

If the truth hurts, change it!

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Energy filtering - 1/30/2007 11:14:59 AM   
onestandingstill


Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KeirasSecret


onestandingstill,

quote:

In scening it's that HE takes this empty vessel and fills it with full sensation,


I wonder if this is the same as what I experience when say; he walks through the door. It is like everything that makes me, me, gets tossed up in the air to make room for him. I asked him once if he felt that; he said he did.

quote:

I in turn overflow with the sensation and feed my energy he created in me back to him.


This sounds most like what I’m referring to on exchanging energies.

Is this a continual cycle for you?

Are you left with anything when it’s over or is it more like he uses up everything he creates?

quote:

In the relationship it's that he leads me like a good trusted King, and I get the security I need in following his path and choices in my life.


I can relate to this part. I have learned a lot from Sir just by his example and what he chooses to instill in me specifically, all of which carries over into the outside world.


For me other than in scening I also have a huge submissive response to Sir Rob weather I'm in his presence or not. All I have to do is think of him and it's like his energy mixes with mine and brings me comfort and joy. I understand how you feel when your Master walks in. I feel that with Sir Rob too.
In The extreme or light sensation play the filling of me as his vessle, and me returning this energy to him is a loop. We both give and recieve in this exchange.
Often the feeling of sub drop does leave me feeling a little low on fuel after heavier scenes for a couple of days, but after light ones I just have a feeling of being recharged and peace.
I think any time your will is being held under a Dom or Master's that leads you honorably and you commit to him fully indeed you'll see the new path you stand on in your BDSM and vanilla life.
It's a life changing experience for many.
suzanne

(in reply to KeirasSecret)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Energy filtering - 1/30/2007 6:14:28 PM   
KeirasSecret


Posts: 415
Joined: 8/17/2006
From: central NH
Status: offline 		Kondolinni,

Thank you for sharing your experience from last night. I really enjoy reading posts like this because it is much easier for me to relate to what is being said, by experiencing it as I read; where as opinions are relative to the person stating it, and are more apt to need interpretation.

quote:

My submissive is both ADHD, and a sufferer of restless leg syndrome. A patience testing combination, I can assure you.


I can relate to the ADHD and how frustrating it can be; especially when there is a build up of emotions, and one has not been taught how to express themselves productively.

quote:

From a dominant's point of view, seems to sound like what you describe.


I had to consider this for awhile. Sir hasn’t done anything to me I could relate that kind of spanking to; yet. Everything has been slower and very consistent.

quote:

I pushed her  back down on her tummy with one hand and quickly, sharply delivered a brief, but intense paddling to her ass with my other hand. The spanking was forceful and specific... an event spanning perhaps 8-10 seconds total elapsed time.


When I read this part, I feel a rush. The action, I would think, would result in transference of being miserable on the inside to having a release to the outside. It is something that seems more on a physical level. Not to say there aren’t emotional energies being exchanged, only that I have no experience with it. I would definitely be interested in finding out though.

The experience I do have is based very much on a mental level, where he doesn’t have to touch me at all for me to feel it. I am kneeling a few feet from the door when he lets himself in; I am in the position he wants me in; wearing what he wants me too wear; so for me, the exchange starts as soon as he is at the door. Make sense?

From a Dominant’s point of view; do you use your strength to get her through things that she finds difficult?

Like what I said here:

quote:

He feeds off my fear, nervousness, uncertainty and any other emotions that our activities invoke...at the same time he feeds me his strength so I am able to do as he pleases; energies become filtered.



hisannabelle,

To me it would seem that being in a steady relationship would qualify, but I’m new. What do I know?

quote:

just because not everyone is in a tpe relationship doesn't make anyone else's experience of bdsm less


I have to agree with you here. With so many variations, I don’t see how comparing is even possible.

quote:

i think that careful study and practice of the eastern philosophies on energy can be really beneficial


Is there something specific you would recommend reading on this?


junecleaver,

quote:

The way we feed off of each other really does amaze me.  Sometimes, just the smallest thing he does evokes such a reaction from me and even vice versa.  Just thinking about it is...an experience.


Would you say you’ve felt this in vanilla relationships?

Be well,

< Message edited by KeirasSecret -- 1/30/2007 6:18:14 PM >

_____________________________

It apears to me, the practice of "an eye for an eye" has finally taken it's toll; the majority are now walking around blind.

Bitching; whining in a louder voice.

If the truth hurts, change it!

(in reply to Kondolinni)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Energy filtering - 1/30/2007 6:30:59 PM   
junecleaver


Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:



junecleaver,

quote:

The way we feed off of each other really does amaze me.  Sometimes, just the smallest thing he does evokes such a reaction from me and even vice versa.  Just thinking about it is...an experience.


Would you say you’ve felt this in vanilla relationships?

Be well,
 I've only had one vanilla relationship and I didn't feel that way in it.  I don't know if it was the vanilla or the guy.  I do have friends who I feel have this same exchange of energy--just being around each other makes them...better (for lack of a better word.)

_____________________________


"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

(in reply to KeirasSecret)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Energy filtering - 1/30/2007 7:38:42 PM   
KeirasSecret


Posts: 415
Joined: 8/17/2006
From: central NH
Status: offline 		onestandingstill,

quote:


I also have a huge submissive response to Sir Rob weather I'm in his presence or not. All I have to do is think of him and it's like his energy mixes with mine and brings me comfort and joy.


I get this as well. It’s nice to have to fall back on when Sir is not available.

quote:

Often the feeling of sub drop does leave me feeling a little low on fuel after heavier scenes for a couple of days,
 

I’m not sure if I’ve ever felt this before. We haven’t done any heavy scenes yet.

When we first got together I felt something like I was dropping, but I don’t know if it is the same thing. It seems like I was doing the exchange thing wrong. I was giving, but I wasn’t receiving, so when he was gone, I had nothing left. It could have been I didn’t trust him enough to receive what he was giving, or maybe I just didn’t know how, at first.

quote:

[It's a life changing experience for many./quote] 

It certainly has been for me. Like a missing piece.


junecleaver,

I’ve had a few vanilla relationships, and I don’t recall feeling this in any of them, or maybe it was so little, so rarely, that I didn’t really notice it. Of course, a good part of that has to do with picking bad matches; creating a lack of trust.

I have to wonder how the exchange works without the D/s, unless there is something similar only in an informal manner.

Be well,




< Message edited by KeirasSecret -- 1/30/2007 7:41:23 PM >

_____________________________

It apears to me, the practice of "an eye for an eye" has finally taken it's toll; the majority are now walking around blind.

Bitching; whining in a louder voice.

If the truth hurts, change it!

(in reply to onestandingstill)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Energy filtering - 1/30/2007 8:50:39 PM   
farglebargle


Posts: 10715
Joined: 6/15/2005
From: Albany, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KeirasSecret

I’ve been a submissive for a few months now, and I have noticed that after having a session with my Dom I feel like my energies have been filtered.
...


To answer your questions.

1) Yes.

2) William Backhouse Astor, Jr. ( See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Backhouse_Astor%2C_Jr. )

C) Pie (mmm.. Pie)

4) Whatever model works well for you.

Enjoy!




_____________________________

It's not every generation that gets to watch a civilization fall. Looks like we're in for a hell of a show.

ברוך אתה, אדוני אלוקינו, ריבון העולמים, מי יוצר צמחים ריחניים

(in reply to KeirasSecret)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Energy filtering - 1/30/2007 10:54:54 PM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KeirasSecret

hisannabelle,

To me it would seem that being in a steady relationship would qualify, but I’m new. What do I know?

quote:

just because not everyone is in a tpe relationship doesn't make anyone else's experience of bdsm less


I have to agree with you here. With so many variations, I don’t see how comparing is even possible.

quote:

i think that careful study and practice of the eastern philosophies on energy can be really beneficial


Is there something specific you would recommend reading on this?


you know a lot. you know what works for you in your relationship, and that's more important than anybody else's definition :)

as far as reading on eastern ideas of energy, the two practices that come to mind are guru yoga and tonglen - especially tonglen. although i'm not a big fan of the book, "the tibetan book of living and dying," by sogyal rinpoche, i believe he does detail the practice of tonglen in there, which is in a sense, a transfer of energy. i also believe that "tara: the feminine divine" goes into a little bit of explanation on guru yoga (specifically for the deity tara), and guru yoga is another example of this, imho (although it has a multitude of purposes and energy work is only a part). doing google searches on tonglen and guru yoga may be beneficial as well. it's important to point out that both of these practices come from the tibetan tradition, just so they aren't confused with different traditions. tonglen in particular is used to purify oneself by removing attachment to one's own health, etc. - but it has also very practically been used to help reduce others' sufferings through the taking and giving of energy.

http://www.shambhala.org/teachers/pema/tonglen1.php this is pema chodron's article on tonglen, which is a good start. there is a book by patrul rinpoche, "the words of my perfect teacher," that i think is an excellent introduction to tantric practice and goes into different types of things that relate to energy work, but it also functions on a much wider scope and involves a lot of other information, too, so it may not be as beneficial to you. the best idea would probably be to seek out a local tibetan buddhist or hindu place of worship and inquire about attending public practices to see for yourself whether or not these approaches to energy fit your feelings on the subject :)

(in reply to KeirasSecret)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Energy filtering - 1/31/2007 3:49:42 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Wow - what a great topic. The first thing I thought when  read the opening post to this thread was: This is what they meant when I read the phrase "bdsm is all inside the head". I mean, the "energy transfer" or "filtering" (or whatever you want to call it) is really palpable, sure, but if it wasn't for the mental-emotional power exchange going on, it wouldn't be there at all - so it's key that it is there.

I think what the OP seems to describe (to me) is this, plus how it plays out in her specific relationship between she and her partner.

I think if somebody wants to (or is prone to) have a submissive response within bdsm activity, or even in a bdsm partner's prescence -my guess is, they are going to do it. Maybe the same is true (in reverse) for Dominants, I am not sure.

Although I'd think particular partners undoubtedly bring that about better than others. And with some, maybe some folks never '"click" at all with a potential bdsm partner - as far as that person "bringing out their "Dom-ness" (or "sub-liness"). 

**As for whether TPE stands for the kind of energy filtering you describe, OR whether it connotes more of a control/authority exchange situation - well maybe that is a "which came first - the chicken or the egg?" question. Because -

I know there are times I've felt submissive being around someone who just exuded a whole lot of personal authority - or, sometimes people (Dominant people of course) just exert control in a particular situation. And that's all it takes, maybe sometimes to draw out some people's submissiveness (it's all situational, really, I think).

But other times, personally, first I have to sort of "feel my way" into believing they have (or into giving them) control and-or authority over me, before I ever want to submit to them, if that makes sense (which is also a part of the whole "is submission a gift, or not?" debate comes from, IMO - but I digress).

- Susan  

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 1/31/2007 4:23:22 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to hisannabelle)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Energy filtering - 2/8/2007 7:14:45 AM   
Kondolinni


Posts: 67
Joined: 4/2/2004
Status: offline 		Sorry to not have followed up on this sooner.

It was entirely physical. The purpose of the spanking was to snap her out of one awareness and place her by force into another. One that io knew would make her feel better, but she certainly was not aware of that until AFTER the spanking had been administered. I used the spanking to invoke my will on her mental/emotional state.

In what you said about the energy being filtered, all I can say to you is that it seems to me your are describing the essence of the D/s dynamic. If your Dom cannot influence and augment your mind-set/emotions/energy flow with his own personal power, then what's the point? Especially if you are engaged in a relationship and not just scening.

I agree, a great OP, and a fun thread.

(in reply to KeirasSecret)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Energy filtering - 2/8/2007 8:22:50 AM   
KeirasSecret


Posts: 415
Joined: 8/17/2006
From: central NH
Status: offline 		*smiles* Thanks for coming back.

quote:

The purpose of the spanking was to snap her out of one awareness and place her by force into another.
 

I could feel that when I was reading what you had written; kind of a catch your breath sort of thing.

Was she completely caught off guard?

It does amaze me how Sir picks up on things about me that I am not aware of, or have not mentioned to him. Those that say D/s is no different then vanilla, either had way different vanilla relationships then I did, or aren’t doing something right, cause I personally have not ever felt anything like it before.

quote:

Dom cannot influence and augment your mind-set/emotions/energy flow with his own personal power, then what's the point?
 

I agree. I did the “just serve and be happy about it” thing before; it did nothing but make me miserable and angry. It is so much better when you are inspired to serve. Not because you expect something in return, (I wanted for nothing material at the time), but because you know the one you’re doing it for appreciates what your doing.

Be well,

_____________________________

It apears to me, the practice of "an eye for an eye" has finally taken it's toll; the majority are now walking around blind.

Bitching; whining in a louder voice.

If the truth hurts, change it!

(in reply to Kondolinni)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Energy filtering - 2/8/2007 8:24:07 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

There are Eastern philosophies that deal with the exchange and flow of energy.  Tantric yoga and sex, all flowing from Hinduism as well as Chinese medicine all have similar models of the body having energy centers.  Often called Chakra and commonly thought of as having seven centers in the body.  The energy itself is called Kundalini. Taoist thought has similar imagery and if I remember correctly is some of the basis and origin of the skills for men to climax and yet control and prevent ejaculation.

I am only the most casual of students of this and have done some reading about Tantric and Toist practices.  But the West has never been good at any of this and the Eastern philosophies have a much more holistic approach. 

Don't forget, that cheesy bdsm sybmol is partly based on the Chinese ying/yang symbol...


LOL! That is good information and I just love your comment about the symbol.

I truly do believe that energy of various form as can be transferred from one person to another when there is a deep mental connection and it does not have to be when both are physically present. So I totally understand what the OP is writing and I am very much the same way.

I think you see this when you hear things like, "I feed off them" or "they give me strength" type comments. I also see it when people's behavior changes. A person who is always late all of a sudden is on time not because the other nags them but it just happens. I think their is an energy transference in many situations of this nature and D/s, M/s and BDSM being so mental that this transference happens more often.


_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 34
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