RE: Right or Wrong ???

RE: Right or Wrong ??? (Full Version)

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fairerthanshe -> RE: Right or Wrong ??? (1/24/2007 8:41:03 PM)
MasterFire said "Was the wife and other man making it clear that she was available? If so, then all systems go. Otherwise, I'd say it falls under dating 101...don't hit on another person's date (in this case wife) behind thier back. " Greetings Master Fire, well said...it seems to me that is the crux of the issue... fairer than she

losttreasure -> RE: Right or Wrong ??? (1/25/2007 3:25:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HatesParisHilton what I mean means nothing because by the first cardinal law of semiotics, what YOU take it to mean and what the greater aggregate of people reading this thread take it to mean decides it's EFFECTIVE meaning, which outweighs any INTENDED meaning even I, as the "author" of the post, intended. Such is true for every newspaper article, blog entry, film, painting, you name it, anything that is intended to be read and absorbed by anyone other than by the author themselves. This is a message board, EVERY post (YOURS included) is DESIGNED to be read and interpreted by someone other than the author. And that has an effect. And we compose and tailor or posts (or movies, or articles) to receive a desired effect, even if on a subconscious level, even if in an unwitting battle between the ID and the Super Ego (to use old school clinical terms) at the expense of the ego. (which these days isn;t even a word used accurately or properly by 90% or more of the people that bandy the word about; again, semiotics in action). Which in a way, we all learn in Kindergarten, and it's the most important and functionally useful lesson we ever learn. Aside from memetics, which we learn earlier than that. And yes, this dovetails with the Jungian thread, for me. I could CLAIM to you I was familiar with the quote, even offer my own interpretaion of it, but that would mean nothing. The only meaning would be what you would DECIDE, as a READER, for yourself. and that is a relationship. just as monog and poly and cheating and "trustworthy" relationships are. which are all semiotic and memetic. Just like I can claim to understand what you think the quote means, then claim to understand it in the same way? A cheater can claim he never cheats then cheats ANYWAY, even when believed and given the benefit of the doubt. which is why I feel that this longwinded-from-hell-reply to you is valid. But I don;t decide that, YOU do. Because semiotically, I wrote the reply FOR YOU, and those whom bother to read our widdle bitty interchange, so only YOUR POV on it (and theirs) defines what the real meaning "is". A simple "no" would have sufficed.

Celeste43 -> RE: Right or Wrong ??? (1/25/2007 6:07:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HatesParisHilton If you want fidelity as a "deal breaker/hard limit" (and I support people in that, I merely think they should "fish in the right pond" for it), then the trad. BDSM scene may not be the best pond. Spanko scenes are better, for various reasons, so you might need to consider that. That's one hell of a wide brush you're painting with. There are lots of us here in power relationships who are monogamous. The op is ambiguous. Either her partner is sniffing around someone else and she's pissed or somebody who she thought was trustworthy is sniffing around her and she's equally pissed. In either case, it isn't about rules, it is about what she accepts in her relationship. In the first case, she can boot him out, demand they go in for couple therapy, or announce that what's good for the goose is good for the gander and go seeing who else is out there and available. In the second, she could accept his offer, refuse it politely, refuse it rudely, tell her husband so he can challenge the sniffer, or call the cops if he refuses to leave her alone and get a restraining order. Lots of possibilities here and lots of options. But stating that no "true" BDSMer is monogamous is a load of bs.

HatesParisHilton -> RE: Right or Wrong ??? (1/25/2007 2:11:20 PM)
*"A simple "no" would have sufficed."* If you wanted me to lie to you in my reply, sure it would have. But we've seen enough bitching about men lying online, haven't we? "That's one hell of a wide brush you're painting with. There are lots of us here in power relationships who are monogamous. The op is ambiguous. Either her partner is sniffing around someone else and she's pissed or somebody who she thought was trustworthy is sniffing around her and she's equally pissed. In either case, it isn't about rules, it is about what she accepts in her relationship. In the first case, she can boot him out, demand they go in for couple therapy, or announce that what's good for the goose is good for the gander and go seeing who else is out there and available. In the second, she could accept his offer, refuse it politely, refuse it rudely, tell her husband so he can challenge the sniffer, or call the cops if he refuses to leave her alone and get a restraining order. Lots of possibilities here and lots of options. But stating that no "true" BDSMer is monogamous is a load of bs." Uh, if you'd bothered to read my post, I didn't do that and you're painting my post with the Big Brush you're saying I used. My saying "may not be the best pond" is not saying "all BDSM'ers are non monog". You basically bent over and let Hyperbole ream you by making the leap to that from my statement, which was NOT that.

szobras -> RE: Right or Wrong ??? (1/25/2007 2:51:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: silkandleather Not so clear on all the rules, so please if anyone can help me out please do...... Whats the rule on or thoughts on a Master hitting on and trying to win over another man's wife ???? I believe the same would apply in any aspect of life, be it "in the lifestyle" or not. The world is a big place with many in it that collectively bring rise to what is socially, and /or morally acceptable. Right or wrong, is then different for all as we all have different ideals, and "morals". For me, it is a disrespect of the commitment to my realationship of marriage, unless communicated clearly to all parties as an acceptable practice.

serillabound -> RE: Right or Wrong ??? (1/25/2007 3:18:43 PM)
Wow a lot's been covered in this thread, all I could think to add was that concise clear honest communication is key to insuring everyone's on the same page regardless of the dynamic of your particular relationship.... Just me...

AquaticSub -> RE: Right or Wrong ??? (1/25/2007 9:07:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: silkandleather Not so clear on all the rules, so please if anyone can help me out please do...... Whats the rule on or thoughts on a Master hitting on and trying to win over another man's wife ???? ~Fast Reply~ What the hell is with all the "masters" who go "ooo ooo I know!!! I'll 'steal' a woman away from someone she is happy with! Of course she will be perfectly loyal to me! I mean, history never repeats itself or anything!"? Bangs head on desk. Then goes to read the rest of the responses like a good girl

gandalf0297 -> RE: Right or Wrong ??? (1/26/2007 4:47:44 AM)
As a general rule. Bad idea. As stated above. Will she be anymore faithfull to you when the next good thing comes along?

SCDommie -> RE: Right or Wrong ??? (1/26/2007 6:39:52 AM)
Not only is it a question of morals, it is also a question of equity laws. I have seen this many times, and sooner or later, the wife will win in court. The submissive may find themselves testifing in a court of law. Not an option for me. Respectfully, SC Domme

SirDominic -> RE: Right or Wrong ??? (1/26/2007 10:56:27 AM)
Are the married couple also in the lifestyle? Any Master trying to hit on another Master's sub/slave is considered about the most serious offence one can make. If the married couple are vanilla, I am not aware of any rule within the lifestyle that addresses this issue one way or the other. Like so many have already pointed out, it comes down to each individual's personal morals. Namaste, Sir Dominic

ExSteelAgain -> RE: Right or Wrong ??? (1/27/2007 5:07:00 AM)
Well, let me lower the moral jumpbar. It was ambiguous as to what the role of the OP was in the matter. I will explain it as a male Dom and take marriage out of the equation for a second because that may be an emotional word that makes many wobble. What if she was a slave to a Master and she found another Dom attractive? I mean people have to find each other somehow. How do you know she wasn’t fed up and was the one actually initiating the contact, whatever it was? It could be that it was time for the relationship to change or end. I don’t judge the Dom or the woman. If a slave wants to leave you, that is the time to buck up, get in your stoic mindset and wish her well. Being calm and friendly does two things. You keep your dignity and that is how she will remember you if you have a hope of returning to the relationship later. She will never come back if you are pouting and mean to her over something that is justified in her mind. Maybe she didn’t get enough attention from you. It is much wiser to tell her bye and let her understand you don’t intend to pursue things. That works on many levels.

spankmepink11 -> RE: Right or Wrong ??? (1/27/2007 5:23:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub What the hell is with all the "masters" who go "ooo ooo I know!!! I'll 'steal' a woman away from someone she is happy with! Of course she will be perfectly loyal to me! I mean, history never repeats itself or anything!"? Bangs head on desk. Then goes to read the rest of the responses like a good girl It never ceases to amaze me that people actually believe someone can be "stolen" from a happy relationship. When it's normally the case of said "stolen object" thinking the grass is greener...etc... As others have said, everyone has their moral code, mine includes not being involved with cheaters, or married men. So, it makes sense that those whom i choose to involve myself operate on a similiar moral code.

SCDommie -> RE: Right or Wrong ??? (1/27/2007 6:59:33 AM)
This answer depends upon a lot of things. Sometimes we get men who call themselves Masters in the life who really want to play around. The same goes with women. I am a traditional Southern Belle. I believe marriage is a wholesome value even it involves Master/sub or Mistress/slave. In my opinion based on my personal beliefs, the answer is it is so wrong. Respectfully, SCDommie

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