RE: The One That Got Away (Full Version)

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SlaveAkasha -> RE: The One That Got Away (1/24/2007 3:16:25 AM)

I think it's always good to think about those from our past if for no other reason than to learn how to either repeat, or not repeat the same type of relationship.
 
Looking back with regret though and wishes of what "could have been" I don't believe is really good for a person.  It sort of makes it a bit hard to be satisfied and happy with what you have in the present.  The future I can do something about, the present I can enjoy, and the past.. I can learn from, but not do-over.
 
Kasha



bandit25 -> RE: The One That Got Away (1/24/2007 3:22:36 AM)

I think we all think about the ones that got away now and then.  Sometimes we smile, sometimes we cry.  But as kasha said, it's good to look back, if only to avoid repeating the behaviors/mistakes that caused you not to still be together.



eruditegirl1 -> RE: The One That Got Away (1/24/2007 5:04:17 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelOfGeorgia

you ever think about the one that got away?

(The sub/slave...the Master or Mistress...someone that things seemed to click with that didn't go anywhere.)



I have been lucky to have had 2 men...I wouldn't say "got away"...but I was able to spend time with.... learn from and enjoy moments with....but yet I no longer have contact with them....the first was someone who taught me how to truley trust and love....but he has passed on now.....and this space we call reality is so out of balance without him....and the man who introduced me to D/s.....he helped me to discover the part of me that I had denied my whole life....but his lifestyle was far to busy...always going on tour.....



Devilslilsister -> RE: The One That Got Away (1/24/2007 6:51:38 AM)

Aye, i think of them at times.....  2 of them.  One i literally lost and spent the next 9 years of my life searching for.  I left apart of myself with him the last day i saw hiim (before i boarded a plan) and in all honesty, through everything that had happened since, he was my motivation to continue on.  I would think "what would he think of all this crap going on now"  and during bad times in my life "what would he think of whats become of me?"  i would stare up at a full moon and disassociate trying to connect with him some how.. where ever he was in the world... I have journals and letters to him.  When ever things got tough - i would write him.  As for me, he was the only one i "ever" had.  Things were safe with him, and things were okay.  I used to want to transport myself back to that place i was with him - when life was - really - ok.  I would look for it everywhere.  The smell of the sea air anything that reminded me of where we lived.  To me, he was my shining star amongst all the harships of my youth.  (i was 16).  i held in me through all the years abit of my youth and innocence, abit of the girl he knew in me - so when i finally found him, i could be me again.

All i ever wanted for him was to have a good life.  i used to imagine him with a great career, a wife, kids and the whole 9 yards.  When i found him........  it was crushing.  He was not the man my 16 year old mind thought he was - he was nothing more then an abusive junkie who was stuck on smack.  His ex wife started emailing me on mysapce of all things and when i got her letters and the truth dawned on me (him closing his account so i couldnt get confirmation) i think i cried for a couple of days.   i lost apart of myself that day.  I lost alot of faith in people.  For me, i had always told myself  "there are good people out there, because he is out there, i just have to find them"

That man has yet to ever say goodbye to me and for gods sake, i know where the hell he lives now.  I will be back in England, i will find him, he will face me, and then i will finally be able to say goodbye to a man i loved so dearly.  Even if he's not the man i always thought he was. 

but i do count my lucky stars he got away = )  I just wish i hadnt been such a naive, innocent, idealistic 16 year old who had too much faith and loyalty for my own good. 



SlyStone -> RE: The One That Got Away (1/24/2007 7:19:21 AM)

you ever think about the one that got away?


All the time.

It was a 350 pound blue marlin hooked off the Kona coast.

God how I loved that fish.



....wiping away a tear..............





childofpain -> RE: The One That Got Away (1/24/2007 7:41:59 AM)

yes i do, but what He taught me will stay with me forever, and i find that i am thinking about Him a lot. before i do anything i think would He approve of this? if the answer is no then i do not do it, if the answer is yes...well i still wish i could ask Him to make sure.



LotusSong -> RE: The One That Got Away (1/24/2007 7:47:24 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelOfGeorgia

you ever think about the one that got away?

(The sub/slave...the Master or Mistress...someone that things seemed to click with that didn't go anywhere.)



They might cross my mind.. but I don't dwell on them.



vield -> RE: The One That Got Away (1/24/2007 7:50:09 AM)

There have been many very dear ones, many very good ones, many I was not ready for, many who were not ready for me.
Most of those dominants and submissives who got away from me did so because we did not really have a good connection. Some got away because we discovered incompatibility or deal breakers in one or the other as we got to know each other.
Some got away because our interests grew in different directions.
Quite a few got away because I require full consensuality to be present, and they could not be trusted.
Some got away because it was not ethical for me to take advantage of them. Many of these never ever really get away because they will be dear friends for all of our lives. Most of these are very happy that I'm blest with a joyful partner.



LaTigresse -> RE: The One That Got Away (1/24/2007 8:18:54 AM)

I don't think of anyone as having got away. I am glad that I had the time with them that I did. They are a part of me always, without them I would not be the person I am now.

One or two might be able to come back, under the right circumstances. After all, there is a reason they "got away".



gypsygrl -> RE: The One That Got Away (1/24/2007 8:54:50 AM)

I don't know if "got away" is the right phrase but there are a couple of guys I still think about alot.

My first "love" happened when I was 12 and working at the county fair in my home town.  He was a tattoo covered carnie and got a lot of shit for messing with "jail bait".  It was a perfect romance, as intense as it was ephemeral with the end contained in the beginning.  It totally fulfilled its concept, was everything it could be and not a bit more.  The fair was over and  he went on his way.  Rarely is an experience so unified.

A couple years ago, I hooked up with someone and fell hard and fast.  It was over before it began but it would have been perfect had it come together.  All the stars were aligned.  For a week or so, it all seemed like a dream come true and I was walking on air.  Then, he flat out rejected me.  It was like a punch in the stomache, but, overall, it was an excellant rejection, and as soon as I got my breath back, I was like, thank god, that would have been a life changing experience had it happened.

Rarely in life are things so clearly defined but when they are, they always impress me.









Bearlee -> RE: The One That Got Away (1/24/2007 9:00:16 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelOfGeorgia

you ever think about the one that got away?

(The sub/slave...the Master or Mistress...someone that things seemed to click with that didn't go anywhere.)


I have had several many relationships in my past.  I’m over 50 and have been single a good portion of my life.  I’ve been hooked up with drug addicts, a convicted child molester (I didn’t know at first), men just out of jail, unemployed men, well-known men, married men, several women, older men, younger men, abusive men, kind men, successful men, nice men, exciting men, good men; men who used me and men who loved me.  With every one of them I learned something about me, my life, my world and how it works. 
 
It is because of my past that I am who I am today.  Some from my past look me up from time to time; and while we split up for good reasons…I am on speaking terms with most of them…should we cross paths. 
 
If that list seems like I don’t know how to pick partners, it took me a long time to discover Dominant men are different than domineering, controlling, abusers.  I didn’t realize I was looking for a Dominant man and a consensual D/s relationship; but it is because of my past that I can spot a predator a mile off and simply walk away.
 
I believe that the ‘pendulum’ must swing both ways.  If you want to feel the intense joys of a good life, you cannot prevent the pendulum from swinging just as far into the sorrows, too.  I like intensity and prefer my pendulum to swing wide and free.
 
I generally do not look back for those “who got away.”  I think, at some level, our lives move into experiences we need to feel or when we need to learn something.  I believe I have skin in every game…some responsibility for everything that happens to me.  For that reason, I try not to ‘blame’ or harbor regret or bitterness; but rather to concentrate on what I learned and what lovely moments I may have shared with another.
 
b



Sinergy -> RE: The One That Got Away (1/24/2007 10:13:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SlyStone

you ever think about the one that got away?


All the time.

It was a 350 pound blue marlin hooked off the Kona coast.

God how I loved that fish.



....wiping away a tear..............





It has grown.  Last year it was only 300 pounds.

Sinergy



freakgoddess -> RE: The One That Got Away (1/24/2007 4:41:13 PM)

There is no 'got away'.  If they 'got away', they were never 'had' to begin with.



slavebrandyj -> RE: The One That Got Away (1/26/2007 3:40:56 AM)

Yes! And it will effect me for the rest of my life. Very recent loss of my Domme. I have learned from it and will always wonder what would it be like IF IF IF. To many to list.
But IF we could start all over in meeting each other without the roadblocks we both had. IF I would not have been so jealous, IF I handled it in a more mature way. IF I could have handles my pain in losng her better, I'd have the best friend I have ever had. IF she will ever forgive me...I'd be very happy. She did not get away. I pushed her away with my deep love for her. She was not ready for what I felt....feel for her today.    



afeathr -> RE: The One That Got Away (1/26/2007 9:32:38 AM)

I haven't had any that "got away" that I didn't want to get away from, but in every relationship I have been in there is always someone that he has called "the one" (it's never me which always makes me feel a little "less than").  Apparently, that pull is much stronger for some than others (for example: my ex and I split so that he could marry "the one").

I try not to put much into relationships that aren't going to go anywhere.  I'm strangely logical and protective of myself that way.

I often wonder what it would be like to be considered "the one that got away" - that one person that you really really wanted, but never could have because of circumstance.  hmmmm



LotusSong -> RE: The One That Got Away (1/26/2007 10:24:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelOfGeorgia

you ever think about the one that got away?

(The sub/slave...the Master or Mistress...someone that things seemed to click with that didn't go anywhere.)


Garth Brooks says it best "Sometimes I thank God for Unswered Prayers"



Sunshine119 -> RE: The One That Got Away (1/26/2007 10:40:09 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelOfGeorgia

you ever think about the one that got away?

(The sub/slave...the Master or Mistress...someone that things seemed to click with that didn't go anywhere.)



Everyone who has entered and left my life has left their mark.  However, I don't ever regret anyone or any actions (or inactions) that caused their loss.  They have all helped to form me into the person I am now.

And when I look in the mirror, I like that person!

Sunshine



sting516 -> RE: The One That Got Away (1/26/2007 2:26:58 PM)

i think we all have a story about the one who got away...mine came before i found my way to bdsm...i just thought i was much too young at the time...i was her first...and she was the first one i really cared about...if i could turn back the clock and make a different choice, i have no doubt i would...of course, i'm sure there are points in our lives where we all wish we'd turned left instead of right also.



agirl -> RE: The One That Got Away (1/26/2007 3:36:45 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelOfGeorgia

you ever think about the one that got away?

(The sub/slave...the Master or Mistress...someone that things seemed to click with that didn't go anywhere.)



Never. Anyone that I have*clicked* with, I spent time with; it always went *somewhere*, even if that meant an ending.

agirl





michaelOfGeorgia -> RE: The One That Got Away (1/26/2007 3:46:36 PM)

of course, there's some that come along, everything seems to click, then they abruptly stop all communications without so much as a good-bye.

oh, well...life goes on.



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