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RE: Self Control - 1/23/2007 12:53:51 PM

eyesopened

Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
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Oh, okay, thanks LA, Celeste and CreativeDominant. i was sure i'd misunderstood.

To the OP... if you are saying your Master inspires you to be a better version of yourself, then what more could you ask for?

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Post #: 21

RE: Self Control - 1/23/2007 1:08:51 PM

junecleaver

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I think having self-discipline makes it so much easier to give control to another person and to maintain that open exchange of power. I'm sure it is possible to have a relationship like you described, but it would definitely be the long way for both of those people to get to the desired destination. Your master has taken control of some of these areas of your life, but in the end YOU made those decisions at his (strong) suggestion. Short of tying you up for the rest of your life, he couldn't stop you from sneaking a drink. Perhaps your master gives you the motivation you need to unleash your self-discipline? Personally, I'm not at the point where I am okay with someone ELSE being MY major motivation for improvement. I don't want to be a burden to another person, even if they've made it perfectly clear I can and sometimes should be. Dealing with my own obvious weaknesses is still very difficult for me. I would say don't stop being so hard on yourself, just channel it in better ways than self-deprecation and self-destruction. In the end improving who you are improves your service to your Master.

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Post #: 22

RE: Self Control - 1/23/2007 3:41:29 PM

adaddysgirl

Posts: 1093
Joined: 3/2/2004
From: Syracuse, NY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: junecleaver

I think having self-discipline makes it so much easier to give control to another person and to maintain that open exchange of power. I'm sure it is possible to have a relationship like you described, but it would definitely be the long way for both of those people to get to the desired destination. Your master has taken control of some of these areas of your life, but in the end YOU made those decisions at his (strong) suggestion. Short of tying you up for the rest of your life, he couldn't stop you from sneaking a drink. Perhaps your master gives you the motivation you need to unleash your self-discipline? Personally, I'm not at the point where I am okay with someone ELSE being MY major motivation for improvement. I don't want to be a burden to another person, even if they've made it perfectly clear I can and sometimes should be. Dealing with my own obvious weaknesses is still very difficult for me. I would say don't stop being so hard on yourself, just channel it in better ways than self-deprecation and self-destruction. In the end improving who you are improves your service to your Master.

Well, with my dom, he didn't have to tie me up. He sat there with the bottle in front of him, with a shot glass next to it. Each drink was poured in front of him (that clever man).....one shot exactly per drink. If he went to the bathroom, he either took the bottle with him....or made a note (or even a little mark) as to the level in the bottle. Oh, he was quite creative....i didn't need to be tied. And i only drink with him.

And believe it or not, some doms may find this a burden....but he would have it no other way. That was his way of working on those those types of things so hey, who was i to question it? *shrugs*

One New Year's Eve, my son and nephew came to his house for a little party and were staying over. They were 18 & 16 then. They were allowed a drink at midnight. When we went to go upstairs, he took the booze with him. The boys were quite disappointed....thinking they were going to have a few after we went to bed. He said 'sorry' and continued up the stairs. Ha ha. He didn't miss a trick that one there.

DG

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Post #: 23

RE: Self Control - 1/23/2007 7:39:41 PM

Devilslilsister

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

To the OP: I've been reading your threads since you were Riotgirl, and I remember when you first became a CM member (really - I do). And, my opinion was then, and still is - that you are always way, way too hard on yourself.

That isn't a nice thing to do to yourself. STOP IT!!! Please? Give it a try - just for me? I know you don't know me, but I would truly sleep better at night if you just gave it a go, just for one day, say. Whaadya say?

Love,

Susan

oh really now......... Funny, just this past weekend Master said "you always find a way to feel like an asshole" <grins> i've always known i'm very judgemental upon myself, very lenient with others. i'd give it a go, but i'm not excatly sure how to go about it - ) I'd also read everyone elses read and respond to everyone elses responses, but i just got off the phone with Master and am being sent to bed. But i couldnt pass over your comments, they were too sweet and i thank you for them.

(i still cant believe you remember me from when i first got on - LOL)

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RE: Self Control - 1/23/2007 8:16:29 PM

ownedgirlie

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I think I got the gist of the OP. In my case, my Master taught me self control in the areas I was lacking. So in that very sense, yes, I relied on his control when I had none of my own. Like Eyesopened said, I needed to know I could hang onto him when the world spun too fast (and it has). When he first met me, I was weak, and lacked self control in many areas of my life. Through his discipline, I learned such skills, and have become the person I was always capable of being.

Now, of course, our relationship is much stronger than before, and has deeper meaning. Similar to what Wildfleurs said about the quality of submission being better. But I wouldn't be so quick to say if someone is lacking in self control then they should not enter a relationship. I am evidence of it working. Then again I got lucky and was finally scooped up by the right hands.

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Post #: 25