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ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn
2.      An Unfortunate Corollary of the False Dichotomy. Because of the amount of these people who are vying for a dominant’s attention, there exists a new problem that I don’t think most women realize, or recognize. I’ll give an example rather than an explanation: As a service submissive, like I mentioned, my main desire in life is bringing happiness and comfort to the woman to whom I serve.That doesn’t mean that I don’t have BDSM desires as well. I just shut most of them off, or place them into a stable corner, so that I can focus on the woman completely and attempt to ignore my own fantasies. But that doesn’t mean they go away. After time, and I’m talking a long period of time, even the most dedicated service submissive starts to have personal needs as well, and quite often it is very difficult to bring them up because of that previous False Dichotomy, which immediately sheds a negative light on the service submissive who starts to show signs of wanting something different than just serving quietly without any wants and desires.

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This thread has made me remember one person who came to me and insisted that he was only interested in taking care of my mundane chores around the house and the yard. Even when I asked if he wanted more, he insisted he didn't.

He didn't last long because he grew jealous of a new boy I was training and of the slave I all ready owned. He told me that I didn't pay enough attention to him and just treated like cheap labor.

HUH?

I asked him what he wanted in return for all this mundane work and if he wanted to go through my formal training to see if we might want more. He said "no" repeatedly.

I say if you are asked if you want more that you be honest about it.

I, personally, learned to not trust anyone who claimed they were "only a service" person or "only interested in mundane tasks".

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ORIGINAL: slavejali
I don't want to be mean...but seriously think about it logically. Anyone looking for a "service submissive" is just looking for some free labour cause they cant afford it or are unwilling to pay for it. Of course you're going to be pushed into the background...and unless your kink is purely "service" orientated (which I doubt many ppl are truthfully)..why the heck the need for anythign to do with BDSM at all..go work in a dog shelter.

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ORIGINAL: slavejali

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ORIGINAL: slavejali
You know...you'd be better off advertising yourself as a sex slave...then you get your desires fulfilled and the Dominant gets surprised with a bonus...you actually like taking care of her and doing stuff around the home as well 

Oh Jali Nooooooooooo!    I've never so vehemently disagreed with something you've said.  Heck I don't think I've ever disagreed with anything you said.    I assume you're joking, but if you aren't you should know that just about every man on the planet will take the sex slave job, so littlesarbonn would be even worse off in that pool.

It's a difficult situation..and its true it is going to be very different for males than females and how they can present themselves initially... I'm not male, so its hard for me to step into his shoes and no matter what I say I'm going to be coming from a female perspective...I'm probably clueless with this subject..so anything I say regarding it is hypothetical and may not be valid..I can deal with that *grin*

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ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

This thread has made me remember one person who came to me and insisted that he was only interested in taking care of my mundane chores around the house and the yard. Even when I asked if he wanted more, he insisted he didn't.

He didn't last long because he grew jealous of a new boy I was training and of the slave I all ready owned. He told me that I didn't pay enough attention to him and just treated like cheap labor.

HUH?

I asked him what he wanted in return for all this mundane work and if he wanted to go through my formal training to see if we might want more. He said "no" repeatedly.

I say if you are asked if you want more that you be honest about it.

I, personally, learned to not trust anyone who claimed they were "only a service" person or "only interested in mundane tasks".

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1. The False Dichotomy. To begin with, before even getting into the whole concept of service submission, it is probably important to point out one of the real problems that I have yet to see a solution that does not involve a lot of patience, time and hard-headedness. A lot of submissives realize that they need to do something to attract the person to whom they would LOVE to serve, so they are decent enough observers of trends and realize that advertising as a service submissive can sometimes be what is necessary to put their name at the head of a list of a lot of wannabe submissives who are vying for the same attention. The obvious problem here is that they’re not really service submissives, but they hope that if they jump in, do the minimum amount of work to “fool” the dominant, they can still manage to get what they are seeking when it comes to fulfilling their sexual, submissive fantasies. This usually ends badly and ends up making the dominant even more apprehensive about giving the next person a chance so that when a real service submissive does show up, sometimes the hoops she puts him through are placed so high that no one is capable of actually jumping through them, or on cost-benefit analysis alone, not worth even trying.

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ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

When I say I'm looking for a service slave I use the word slave on purpose because I think a good slave can and should be used for everything.

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ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

If anything came out of my writing of this, it was listening to the advice of a great deal of people from the boards and to be up front with the woman I am now serving about some of those lesser needs, but needs nonetheless. I'm so not used to talking about those other needs, so it was pretty hard. And right now, I'm not even all that concerned about them, because I'm very happy right now being the service submissive I am. But it sure feels better knowing she now knows about all of my needs, not just the overwhelming one to serve that makes up a great deal of my natural submissiveness.

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ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

If anything came out of my writing of this, it was listening to the advice of a great deal of people from the boards and to be up front with the woman I am now serving about some of those lesser needs, but needs nonetheless. I'm so not used to talking about those other needs, so it was pretty hard. And right now, I'm not even all that concerned about them, because I'm very happy right now being the service submissive I am. But it sure feels better knowing she now knows about all of my needs, not just the overwhelming one to serve that makes up a great deal of my natural submissiveness.

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ORIGINAL: fairerthanshe

I understand what you are saying and agree with you on many points.  I believe i am an exceptional service slave but without the other dimensions, the physical aspects of BDSM, then it becomes a situation where i constantly fear walking into His house and seeing toys and condom wrappers on the floor or table waiting for me to clean up.  It sucks. 

Its such a sledge hammer to the stomach to know He was with someone else.  Worse yet, it makes me feel as if i dont matter at all.  Before me, He found a way to wash clothes and dishes and get the trash to the curb, didn't He?  So if He doesn't want to use me in the dungeon, then what the hell am i doing here? 

Yes, I love to clean - love it - and look for things to clean, rarely does He give me instruction regarding this or specific tasks.  So how do i communicate with Him all my desires without utterly destroying the relationship?

I have been comtemplating this dilemna all day, so thank you for the original post.  It really helps.  BTW, i started out as a play partner, not as a service slave. 

fairer than she