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Masochism Sadism interaction - 1/17/2007 5:38:55 PM

sadomasokisti

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From: Iceland
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Usually masochism is considered to be all about pain. But if it is only about pain, you would simply hurt yourself to get the fix.
I consider masochism in BDSM to be not only about the pain and suffering but also to be about the relationship or interaction between a masochist and a sadist. The sadist enables the masochist to receive more pain.

Do you have similar or different view on this matter?

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RE: Masochism Sadism interaction - 1/17/2007 5:46:45 PM

CreativeDominant

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sadomasokisti

Usually masochism is considered to be all about pain. But if it is only about pain, you would simply hurt yourself to get the fix.
I consider masochism in BDSM to be not only about the pain and suffering but also to be about the relationship or interaction between a masochist and a sadist. The sadist enables the masochist to receive more pain.

Do you have similar or different view on this matter?

Masochism is a complex arena. No, it is not simply about the pain...it is about the pain AND what the pain evokes, whether it is a heightened sexual state, catharsis, change in mood, subspace.

As for it being about the relationship between the sadist and masochist...I disagree. I have seen a sadist who was excellent at his work bring a masochist that he had never met to an almost screaming orgasm while in the midst of a subspace so deep that she could hardly talk for 45 minutes and even after she came down, was in a dreamlike haze for the rest of the evening. No relationship other than what was happening physically between them at the time, based on a few questions he asked her. He did not even go to a dominant/submissive mindset for the play.

Do I think a relationship of some sort can enhance the effects of the sadistic tour of action upon the masochistic battlefield of body and mind and soul? Sure...but the case I cited above...and several examples from my own experience tell me that there does not necessarily have to be a relationship to evoke a satisfactory response from the masochist.

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RE: Masochism Sadism interaction - 1/17/2007 5:50:12 PM

sadomasokisti

Posts: 221
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From: Iceland
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I'm sorry, I wanted to emphasize on the interaction part more than a relationship.... language barrier problem.

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RE: Masochism Sadism interaction - 1/17/2007 7:14:43 PM

Noah

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sadomasokisti

I'm sorry, I wanted to emphasize on the interaction part more than a relationship.... language barrier problem.

CreativeDom said a lot about that in just a few words in his first paragraph. I suggest you reread it attentively and give it some thought. Perhaps it will spur insights you can share or further, sharper questions.

And by the way I thought that what he had to say was very worthwhile.

And also by the way, sadomasokisti, I think your command of English is pretty impressive.

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RE: Masochism Sadism interaction - 1/17/2007 7:26:38 PM

marieToo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sadomasokisti

Usually masochism is considered to be all about pain. But if it is only about pain, you would simply hurt yourself to get the fix.
I consider masochism in BDSM to be not only about the pain and suffering but also to be about the relationship or interaction between a masochist and a sadist. The sadist enables the masochist to receive more pain.

Do you have similar or different view on this matter?

I can only speak for myself when I say that masochism is not only about pain. In fact, for myself, Im not sure it's about pain at all. If it were, I think I could just go out and get my ass beat whenever I felt like I needed it. Or just go piss someone off then allow them to cause me emotional frustration.

I need to feel some level of connection with the person Im going to surrender myself to. I have to feel a level of submission to that person; only in feeling that am I able to derive anything pleasureable or of value, from the person causing me pain.

To just bend over and accept someone's leather for the sake of some adrenlin thing they all talk about is meaningless for me. I'd rather just go without it. My rush is in the surrender to someone whose got my head, not in the pain itself.

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RE: Masochism Sadism interaction - 1/17/2007 7:30:04 PM

slavegirljoy

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From: North Carolina, USA
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For me, it is not about the pain, itself. The pleasure i feel from being a masochist comes mostly from the interaction that takes place between what my Master chooses to do to me and my reaction to what He is doing to me and the resulting response of my Master's pleasure over seeing my reaction to His actions. i hope that makes some sense, because i don't really know any other way to describe it.

i enjoy seeing my Master's delight in the pain He is directly responsible for causing and knowing that He is in complete control of me. Of course, there is the endorphine rush, but that is more of a side effect.

i am a masochist, but i don't really like pain (although my Master tells me that i do). i need the pain that my Master causes me to feel. It tells me that He is in complete control of my body.

i don't have a lot of tolerance for pain, when it comes to just getting hurt from falling down or bumping my head or burning myself on the stove. my body responds to that kind of pain differently than the pain that i feel when my Master slaps my face or pulls my hair or pinches me hard or whips me. i don't get the same pleasure response from just getting hurt, that i get from my Master causing the hurt. It is knowing that He is in complete control over the situation and that He determines when, how much, and what kind of pain to cause me.

Sometimes the pain comes in the form of prolonged tickling, which would normally be seen as a pleasant feeling, but, to me is very unpleasant, except for the fact that my Master is the one causing it and controling it and i am helpless to do anything to stop it. With Him, begging and pleading doesn't work. i do get a great deal of sexual excitement at feeling helpless, vulnerable and at my Master's mercy.

my Master doesn't use a lot of pain on me too often, because He likes me being sensitive to pain. He doesn't allow me to become desensitized to the pain. He likes seeing me react to the pain that He is creating. my reactions are crying out, jerking, quivering, squirming, crying and begging for Him to stop. Pain doesn't feel good to me. It does hurt and i don't really like to hurt, but i need the hurt. It's a hard thing to explain.

slave joy
Owned property of Master David

quote:

ORIGINAL: sadomasokisti

Usually masochism is considered to be all about pain. But if it is only about pain, you would simply hurt yourself to get the fix.
I consider masochism in BDSM to be not only about the pain and suffering but also to be about the relationship or interaction between a masochist and a sadist. The sadist enables the masochist to receive more pain.

Do you have similar or different view on this matter?

< Message edited by slavegirljoy -- 1/17/2007 7:41:03 PM >

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RE: Masochism Sadism interaction - 1/17/2007 7:47:07 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
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Similar view:
Partnered sex is a hell of a lot better than masturbation (for most people).

The exchange of energy is present when it's two or more people...that makes the difference for any action you might otherwise do alone. Most of the time, it's a plus, but sometimes, you do want to be alone.

Master Fire

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RE: Masochism Sadism interaction - 1/17/2007 9:09:10 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sadomasokisti
Usually masochism is considered to be all about pain. But if it is only about pain, you would simply hurt yourself to get the fix.

Actually I know tons of masochists who will hurt themselves to get off (and no, I'm not talking about cutters or people who get into ritual pain as a form of disorder).

quote:

I consider masochism in BDSM to be not only about the pain and suffering but also to be about the relationship or interaction between a masochist and a sadist. The sadist enables the masochist to receive more pain.

Do you have similar or different view on this matter?

It sounds like you're mixing Ds and S&M. While I think many a masochist can be pushed into taking more from their motivation to please their dom, I also think many a masochist wants to be pushed more to reach a higher euphoria and really don't care of the person giving them pain is their master or just a warm body holding an implement.

A relationship with someone specific can always transform an experience into something "more." However, masochism in and of itself is simply getting off on pain- and plenty of masochists are more than happy to just throw themselves against the wall to get their butts warmed by anyone they trust enough in order to get their endorphin high.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_701599/mpage_1/key_sadist/tm.htm#701905
sadism and masochism

http://www.collarchat.com/m_525044/mpage_1/key_fluffy%252Csadist/tm.htm#525222
sadist

http://www.collarchat.com/m_583606/mpage_1/key_masochists/tm.htm#583687
Extreme sensation play, what's hot about that for you?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_204732/mpage_1/key_except%252Cpain/tm.htm#204762
why experience pain and what motivates a sub to enjoy it?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_284469/mpage_1/key_except%252Cpain/tm.htm#284905
masochistic vs non masochistic

http://www.collarchat.com/m_428681/mpage_1/key_except%252Cpain/tm.htm#428697
masochism

http://www.collarchat.com/m_514097/mpage_1/key_except%252Cpain/tm.htm#514099
is it the pain or the act of submission?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_99877/mpage_1/key_masochism/tm.htm#99877
ds vs s&m

http://www.collarchat.com/m_319334/mpage_1/key_masochism/tm.htm#319334
question on masochism #1

http://www.collarchat.com/m_319343/mpage_1/key_masochism/tm.htm#319343
question on masochism #2

http://www.collarchat.com/m_475218/mpage_1/key_masochism/tm.htm#475218
masochism and submission, is there a conflict?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_344784/mpage_1/key_masochist/tm.htm#344784
good pain/bad pain...blurred lines?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_221596/mpage_1/key_masochist/tm.htm#221596
sensation slut

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RE: Masochism Sadism interaction - 1/17/2007 9:18:00 PM

bethclaire1

Posts: 6
Joined: 1/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sadomasokisti

Usually masochism is considered to be all about pain. But if it is only about pain, you would simply hurt yourself to get the fix.
I consider masochism in BDSM to be not only about the pain and suffering but also to be about the relationship or interaction between a masochist and a sadist. The sadist enables the masochist to receive more pain.

Do you have similar or different view on this matter?

There is a definition difference between sexual masochism and psychotic masochism. A great book to read that goes into this in detail is Masochism and the Self. This was the first book I read, now 15 years ago, that let me accept that i wasn't nuts, just enjoyed a different type of sensation, different sexuality.

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RE: Masochism Sadism interaction - 1/18/2007 3:54:34 AM

kyraofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo
To just bend over and accept someone's leather for the sake of some adrenlin thing they all talk about is meaningless for me. I'd rather just go without it. My rush is in the surrender to someone whose got my head, not in the pain itself.

This is very similar to how I feel.

My masochistic side is a part of me that is very strongly protected by me at the moment. If I am not able to trust a top well enough to lower the walls that protect that part of me and surrender to them, then the energy in the play will be flat and he might as well be hitting a wall. Once I surrender to the moment, I get off on the pain, but to get me to surrender you have to earn my trust.

I think over time as I grow as a person and in the relationship with my Lord I may not need such a significant level of trust to let that part of me out. For now, the play has little to do with adrenaline and a lot to do with the bond between me and my Lord.

Knight's kyra

< Message edited by kyraofMists -- 1/18/2007 3:57:35 AM >

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RE: Masochism Sadism interaction - 1/18/2007 11:18:00 AM

onestandingstill

Posts: 1335
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sadomasokisti

Usually masochism is considered to be all about pain. But if it is only about pain, you would simply hurt yourself to get the fix.
I consider masochism in BDSM to be not only about the pain and suffering but also to be about the relationship or interaction between a masochist and a sadist. The sadist enables the masochist to receive more pain.

Do you have similar or different view on this matter?

It is about pain. It's not about mastrubation.
The energy exchange between the top and bottom is a very necessary thing I think for most pain players to feel it's the right sort of pain.
Suffering for yourself isn't half as interesting or fulfilling as squirming for another's pleasure IMO.
suzanne

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RE: Masochism Sadism interaction - 1/18/2007 11:34:54 AM

SlaveAkasha

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Joined: 9/30/2006
From: Indiana
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I think for me it does have to do with the interaction with the person I am with. One thing that gets me off is knowing that hurting me is turning the other person on.

That is sort of an issue my Master and I are running into as of late. I am a masochist and he is a sadist, though I would say less or to a different degree than I am. He gets the most pleasure out of causing it by his own hand (sqeezing, violating..etc)..I get a lot of pleasure out of that, but also from canes, belts..etc.

I can cause myself pain and have, but it's not the same at all, or to get even close is so extreme it's not worth it (cutting).

I know that hearing his voice, his breath, his moans, his words..make all of it go to a higher level for me..and that's not something I can get with just anyone off the street.

Kasha

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