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Lexophile Humor - 1/16/2007 11:38:20 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
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1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.




2. A will is a dead giveaway.
3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. In a democracy, it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that  votes.
6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
7. Pay your exorcist's bill or you will be repossessed.
8. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
10. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France resulted in linoleum Blownapart.
13. You are stuck with your debt  if you can't budge it.
14. Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.
15. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
16. A calendar's days are numbered.
17. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, 'taint mine.
18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
21. The short fortune teller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.
22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
23. When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
28. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
29. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
And might I add...
It is better to have loved a short woman than never to have loved a tall.
Note: No trees were killed in sending this message, but a large number of electrons were inconvenienced.
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RE: Lexophile Humor - 1/16/2007 1:04:28 PM   
windchymes


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Joined: 4/18/2005
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17. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, 'taint mine.
 
These were great!  However, I had always heard that the "taint" was that area between a woman's legs that 'taint pussy and 'taint ass.

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
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RE: Lexophile Humor - 1/16/2007 2:28:23 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
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quote:

However, I had always heard that the "taint" was that area between a woman's legs that 'taint pussy and 'taint ass.

 
That was the 2nd definition.

(in reply to windchymes)
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RE: Lexophile Humor - 1/16/2007 7:22:52 PM   
Saratov


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Joined: 10/22/2005
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It's better to have lobsters on your piano, than crabs on your organ.
A mental patient escaped after raping a nurse... Nut screws and bolts

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
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RE: Lexophile Humor - 1/17/2007 12:54:04 AM   
rukna


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Joined: 12/13/2006
From: Bangalore
Status: offline
Can someone explain me these 2
10. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

 
11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

_____________________________

for daily dose of humor visit
http://www.enagar.com/

(in reply to Saratov)
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RE: Lexophile Humor - 1/17/2007 3:22:49 AM   
FirmhandKY


Posts: 8948
Joined: 9/21/2004
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10.  When someone is hungry, they go back to the buffet for seconds (second helpings).
When a clock is hungry, it just goes back four seconds.


11.  When I re-uphosteried my couch, I re-covered it in leather.
When the guy fell onto an upholstery machine, he was fully re-covered.

(in reply to rukna)
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RE: Lexophile Humor - 1/17/2007 9:49:47 AM   
Saratov


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Joined: 10/22/2005
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A large cow tried to jump a barbed wire fence... Udder disaster!

(in reply to FirmhandKY)
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