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maleslave07 -> RE: CAN ANYONE TELL ME ? (1/16/2007 7:59:18 PM)
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I personally like to compare it to education and the lifestyle verses play situations.
The vanilla person is like a pre-school age child. They know alot about nothing, sexual or otherwise. Thus they experiment and wonder around trying to please and control everything without knowing how to do anything truely good, just like a child of that age.
Then comes the elementary school student. This is like the players in BDSM. They know a little bit more but just like to play as they learn. No commitments...no responsabilities. Nothing wrong with players so long as everybody knows they are players. Can either be dominant or submissive by nature, personality wise. They are not lifestylers because they have not made the commitment to the lifestyle as of yet. But they do play in the lifestyle you could say.
Next is the middle school student. This is like the slave and what I consider the first level of being in the lifestyle. They seek the commitment but do not seek responsibility. They wish to give up complete responsibility to the Dominant. Thus by defination a slave. If you do not wish to give up the responsibility then lets face it you are just submitting a part of yourself and thus by definition a Submissive. The slave knows more about the lifestyle than the player due to having to in order to give up the responsibility. Just like how a middle school student knows more than the elementary student.
Then comes the high school student, the Submissive. If you hold back part of the responsibility over yourself then you seek more control over your life. Yes you want to give most of it away but you still want to hold onto that little part. Just like how high school age kids seek to expand their control but are still completely dependant upon their parents for support and guidance. The Submissive wants to expand their control over their life more than the slave but still let the Dominant be in control ultimately.
After high school is college, thus the switch. The switch is a hybrid of the Submissive and the Dominant. Kinda like somebody who is bisexual, can go either way depending on their mood at the time. They generally know more than the submissive since they have to know how to dominate as well as submit. Sometimes they are independent and sometimes dependent, just like a college student who is independent financially of their parents and sometime dependent upon them also.
Finally comes the Dominant. They are like the parents. They do as they wish, when they wish, and how they wish. Try and tell your parents what to do and if they don't agree with you then watch what happens. Just like a Dominant, try and tell them what to do and if they don't agree with you then watch what happens. Same result. The Dominant is like your parents because they are the ones who make the decisions for all those who are under their care. They are just like your parents in the sense that they guide, educate, punish, and take care of your needs/wants/desires. They are the ones who form you into what you are. Think about how your parents formed you into what you are.
Your parents took care of your needs according to their standards of what they thought is/was appropriate for you. And by meeting those needs you turned around and pleased them by fulfilling their needs/wants/desires. After all if a slave's/Submissive's needs are not met what happens? Rebellion. But if they are met then what happens? Devotion. And if a Dominant's needs are not met what happens? The slave or Submissive is tossed to the side and they find a new one to meet their needs.
Poly households are slightly different in the sense there is a hiarchy among the slaves/Submissives. But also in the sense that the Dominant does not toss to the side the slave/Submissive that is not meeting all of the Dominant's needs. The Dominant instead adds to the family unit by acquiring another slave/Submissive in order to meet the Dominant's needs or even one of the slave's/Submissive's needs.
Can people skip grades? Yes just like in real life how people skip grades. Some people are just pure geniuses, just ask any Dominant what they think of something. Are they right all the time? No, even geniuses make mistakes no matter how smart they think they are. Even your parents make mistakes, break down, cry, hold everything in, etc.
Just remember also that just because a slave/Submissive submits to one does not mean they will submit to another equally. And my grade school analysis has nothing to do with intelligence or capabilities. But more about the level of reponsibility and/or control one wants to maintain or give up to another. When you play you are not giving up control or responsibility, its just that play, no matter how knowledgable you have become.
All this is just my opinion on the matter, no offense to anybody that might disagree.
robert
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