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Man fights to take wife's surname - 1/14/2007 7:54:18 AM   
Lashra


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An interesting article about how difficult it is for a man to take his wife's last name when they are married. In this day and age it shouldn't be that difficult for a person to take anothers last name. Hopefully one day things won't be this stressing.

~Lashra


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RE: Man fights to take wife's surname - 1/14/2007 8:00:09 AM   
enigmaslave


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Status: offline 		I'd do it, with out hesitation, its legal here in Ontario Canada.(However I don't know how difficult the procedure is)

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RE: Man fights to take wife's surname - 1/14/2007 8:07:47 AM   
petdave


Posts: 2479
Status: offline 		Yup... i had planned to do it when my wife and i got married, but finally decided that between the court procedure and explaining it to my family, it just wasn't worth the aggravation... i still wish i had (i have a long, somewhat ethnic last name that people ask how to spell, then spell incorrectly anyway)

...dave

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RE: Man fights to take wife's surname - 1/14/2007 8:11:48 AM   
Lashra


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Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		I don't understand why it is a big issue here in the US. If its easy for a woman, why wouldn't it be for a man? I hope this couple fights this to the end so that others will not feel that it is something that is impossible. Personally if I ever get married again we are going to take each others last names example Smith-Wesson. I don't care what the red tape or costs is its going to be done.

~Lashra


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RE: Man fights to take wife's surname - 1/14/2007 8:17:11 AM   
LadyEllen


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From: Stourport-England
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

Personally if I ever get married again we are going to take each others last names example Smith-Wesson. I don't care what the red tape or costs is its going to be done.

~Lashra



I'd love to do a gag about shotgun weddings now, but I dont know if Smith & Wesson make them LOL!
E

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RE: Man fights to take wife's surname - 1/14/2007 8:20:15 AM   
LadyEllen


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From: Stourport-England
Status: offline 		I have to say, its much easier in the UK.

Print a form off the internet, (the internet lawyer stamps it all up so its legal, and issues you several original copies). You get someone to witness the name change, inform the relevant authorities and those whom you deal with by way of an original copy, (banks etc), and its done.

The only restrictions are the use of misleading or offensive names; ie you couldnt change your name to "Ms Fuck You" and you couldnt change your name to "Lord Snott".

Edited to add; the whole thing costs about GBP 50-00, plus of course the cost of posting off the originals to the people who need to know.

E

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RE: Man fights to take wife's surname - 1/14/2007 8:26:45 AM   
JohnWarren


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Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline 		When Libby and I got married, we just left things as they were.  She kept her name and I kept mine.  If people wonder if we are "just living together" it's none of their damned business anyway.

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RE: Man fights to take wife's surname - 1/14/2007 8:45:05 AM   
KatyLied


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Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Interesting.  A few years after my divorce I took back my *real* name.  I don't understand why it is so important to take a spouse's name.  If I ever remarry I will keep my name.

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RE: Man fights to take wife's surname - 1/14/2007 10:13:29 AM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
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Status: offline 		When Doug and I got married in June, we were asked if I was taking his or he was taking mine.
Wasn't an issue at all.  I think it probably ranges from different state and in some cases city by city on what they want you to do.  What the various laws are.

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RE: Man fights to take wife's surname - 1/14/2007 10:17:50 AM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
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From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline 		I have always felt that the female's surname was more appropriate. Some men "spread their seed" with abandon and basically don't know care it takes root (like they are doing the world a favor). 
 
You pretty much know who the mother is. 

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RE: Man fights to take wife's surname - 1/14/2007 10:29:44 AM   
MsPoetress


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Status: offline 		I am sure if it was easy enough that John Kerry would be known as John Heinz, but hey that is just my opinion.

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RE: Man fights to take wife's surname - 1/14/2007 10:37:54 AM   
TexasMaam


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Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline 		It's not difficult in Texas. The name change to whatever the couple selects is part of the Marriage License paperwork. 

Many couples take the woman's name here, especially if she's a professional who's been through law school, med school, etc.  You also see quite a few men take the woman's last name if she's a member of one of Texas' elite historical families, oil industry related or otherwise.

Viva Tejas!

TexasMaam



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RE: Man fights to take wife's surname - 1/14/2007 1:51:08 PM   
Termyn8or


Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline 		What's in a name ?

My Mother is a bastard, if her sire was on fire she would not even piss on him. Perhaps some other time. They weren't married and pops was an abusive alchy drunk, and beat my Grandmother profusely.

My Mom married my Dad, and he was alchy too, and a drunk, but not quite as bad I guess. She divorced him when I was 10, and about 10 years later married another guy.

She had to get rid of him too, but still keeps his name. She certainly doesn't want her "sire's" name. And why take Mom's name, so why bother changing it at all ? There is a stigma in society about you mama and dada having the same last name as you. I think it is all bullshit.

Actually, I think if a Man wants to take his Woman's last name, he is likely very pissed off at his family.

Whatever.

T

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RE: Man fights to take wife's surname - 1/15/2007 3:20:47 AM   
farmbound1


Posts: 46
Joined: 7/29/2006
Status: offline 		here in the US we have a patriarchal based system. there are cultures that are matriarchal for many of the reasons posted by others here.  a person should be able to have the last name they desire as long as they take legal steps to change it and they aren't doing it to hide from the law or their creditors.  a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.

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RE: Man fights to take wife's surname - 1/15/2007 6:05:10 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
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Status: offline 		I don't have an intense interest in marrying again, but if I do, it would be with a man who would take my last name or not at all...  True, I don't understand why it should be so difficult, but the court trip to change name seems fairly easy to do in my state, so maybe we'd do it outside of the marriage contract (before or after).   M

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RE: Man fights to take wife's surname - 1/15/2007 8:58:22 AM   
SirKenin


Posts: 2994
Joined: 10/31/2004
From: Barrie, ON Canada
Status: offline 		If a woman was so bloody petty that she had to make a scene about a last name, I do not even want to KNOW how ridiculously stupid she would be in other things, so I highly doubt I would even make it to the marriage stage with them.  I would probably have told them to get lost long before that ever happened.  If she thinks she is going to manipulate Me into bowing to her wishes for something like that she can wiggle her sorry little ass right out the front door.  I do not play games.

I would be just fine leaving them alone.  Hyphenating them is sheer stupidity as well.  If you can not make your mind up, or you are so worried about your identity, keep your own last name.  I always laugh when I see them because they look so hopelessly stupid.  I realize they are trying to look professional and all, and make compromises, but what it tells Me is who wears the pants in the family.  It is not really a compromise..  Someone is pussy whipped.

I guess I just think there are more important things in life.  I will keep My last name.  If you like it, adopt it.  If you do not, keep your own.

But I guess when push comes to shove I do not really care to get married again anyways, so we will never have to fight over something as completely stupid as who uses what last name.  It is not like I call out their last name when I am fucking them or something, so what difference does it make.

< Message edited by SirKenin -- 1/15/2007 8:59:29 AM >

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RE: Man fights to take wife's surname - 1/15/2007 10:09:02 AM   
Sekhemet


Posts: 127
Joined: 7/10/2004
From: Canada
Status: offline 		  To some of Us Ladies, a name is not just a series of letters.  Some of Us have family history, others as shown in the article wish to further the family name and have no brothers to do so, others refuse to deal with names which may not be pronouncable in english, or spelled without hassle, or otherwise are a royal pain, and then you have those who (should it go awry) are not about to dish out an additional $300 to get their own name and life back, and don't think it's fair to have to.  I personally refused to take My former spouses name because he was adopted, and not actually of the professed lineage anyway - So what's the big deal that I become a ___*name*___?  If that all seems "petty" to you, don't worry; I'm sure you aren't the sort a rational Woman would marry anyway.

We originally took to taking a man's name so they felt obligated to care for any offspring as produced in the marriage, but now the courts deal with this.  As mentioned the father of a child may be debateable, and indeed in a large number of cases where men are certain the child produced is theirs, and the wife claims such to be true, random DNA tests have proven this is not the case.  Which Woman produced the child however is never a concern or uncertainty.  Indeed when a baby is born the child can be given any surname you desire, there is no rule stating any family name must be honoured.  Besides if I did the work, it is My body and mind on the line, and I made the child, why should I name it after a guy?  In the end it is a matter of pride for your family, and continuance of tradition. 
Matriarchal society does have it's sensible moments which even the staunchest patriarch is hard pressed to argue with logic; instead belittling, insulting and referring to things as foolish and immature, which is hardly appropriate, and if it was not a big issue for you, why the upset and contemptuous presentation?

LOVE the line tho, it is an "Archaic practise suitable to the 17th century and should be in the trash bin along with dowries."  So very, very true. 
XxoxX

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RE: Man fights to take wife's surname - 1/15/2007 10:14:07 AM   
michaelOfGeorgia


Posts: 4253
Status: offline 		i had brought this subject up with a couple of my former relationships, one of which did go the distance of marriage, but it was never allowed. the state was Oklahoma.

so much for equality and freedom of choice, huh?


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RE: Man fights to take wife's surname - 1/15/2007 10:59:57 AM   
meatcleaver


Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline 		Why would anyone want to be called 'Doormat'?

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RE: Man fights to take wife's surname - 1/15/2007 11:08:50 AM   
michaelOfGeorgia


Posts: 4253
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quote:

ORIGINAL: meatcleaver

Why would anyone want to be called 'Doormat'?


just because a guy wants to take a woman's last name instead of the other way around, does not make them a doormat. it makes them caring, adaptive, innovative and equal.


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