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just curiousows that her experiences in this lifestyle ... - 1/12/2007 9:08:22 AM   
MLskajira


Posts: 275
Joined: 2/17/2006
Status: offline 		this girl knows that her experiences in this lifestyle are not common. she was raised in a household where D/s, M/s and BDSM were the way of life.
when she was about 21, she met a man at a party and we hit it off, so this girl asked what she thought was a reasonable question, "are you top or bottom?"  to which the response was "huh?" so she said " are you Dom or sub?" he said  "what are you talking about?" so this girl explained it to him and he acted appalled and informed her that he wanted it to be 50/50. this girl said "huh?" (the thought of a 50/50 relationship had never occured to her).
she is just curious if anyone else has ever had an experiance like that. if anyone out there is like this girl in that she had never known that there were people that wanted an equal, sexual relationship.
or is she unique in this area?


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RE: just curiousows that her experiences in this lifest... - 1/12/2007 9:10:38 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Does the term SWITCH mean anything to you.

(in reply to MLskajira)
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RE: just curiousows that her experiences in this lifest... - 1/12/2007 9:11:49 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		The answer to the question that starts "Does anyone else...?" is always Yes.

I know when I was age 8 I had no idea why the other kids started calling me names and making me into an outcast because I was ok with kissing boys and girls.

We all have those "aha" moments as we grow up and become exposed to new things.  Your experience is less likely and less common than most in this particular culture.

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(in reply to MLskajira)
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RE: just curiousows that her experiences in this lifest... - 1/12/2007 9:13:34 AM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Does the term SWITCH mean anything to you.


I think what she is saying is she had never met vanilla before.

In response, I think that would be a unique situation for people who were raised in the Lifestyle.  It is rare to see such cases.

Jeff

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(in reply to Dnomyar)
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RE: just curiousows that her experiences in this lifest... - 1/12/2007 9:59:16 AM   
valeca


Posts: 403
Joined: 1/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MLskajira
if anyone out there is like this girl in that she had never known that there were people that wanted an equal, sexual relationship.
or is she unique in this area?



I'd like to think any reasonable adult who has to function in the world as we know it would know that there are those that do not want a relationship structure based on power exchange, M/s, D/s (a.k.a. 'nilla).  I find it hard to believe anyone's world could be so small as to assume otherwise (even those 'raised in the lifestyle'), but stranger things have been known to happen, I suppose.


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(in reply to MLskajira)
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RE: just curiousows that her experiences in this lifest... - 1/12/2007 10:42:08 AM   
MaryT


Posts: 553
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MLskajira
she is just curious if anyone else has ever had an experiance like that. if anyone out there is like this girl in that she had never known that there were people that wanted an equal, sexual relationship.
or is she unique in this area?


You never watched television or films (especially from the 70s)?  The women's lib movement escaped your notice?   You and I are from the same era ...

(in reply to MLskajira)
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RE: just curiousows that her experiences in this lifest... - 1/12/2007 11:26:40 AM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		I just cant beleave that her parents didnt think it proper to make sure she knew these things.. raising a child in this kind of household you need to be very carefull of things and should be protecting your child and teaching them these kind of things not sending them into the world so unprepared.


Magik's slave

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If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


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(in reply to MaryT)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: just curiousows that her experiences in this lifest... - 1/12/2007 11:31:14 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Unfortunately there are no tests that must be passed prior to taking on the responsibility of parenthood.

You wanna get a drivers liscense, be prepared to take classes, tests, eye exams, etc. You wanna keep it you have to follow all the laws of the road, no drinking, no speeding, etc etc, cuz god forbid you put anyone else's life in the least little bit of danger.

You wanna be a mommy or daddy, get laid.........tadaaaaaaaaa!


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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to MagiksSlave)
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RE: just curiousows that her experiences in this lifest... - 1/12/2007 12:09:45 PM   
mymasterssub69


Posts: 566
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		i've met vanillas who see the BDSM lifestyle as a sexual fad. some even asked (as a pickup line) do you like to be dominated by a man? however upon asking them questions about what aspect of the BDSM they like, they think you're the one with a disease assuming you're a sex slave who loves degrading yourself because you lack the confidence in meeting a real man etc. etc.

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there is something infinitely magical
about a Daddy Dom
...something only a little girl
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collared on 16th Jan 2007 by bigsambaman, my Daddy

(in reply to MLskajira)
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RE: just curiousows that her experiences in this lifest... - 1/12/2007 12:12:23 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mymasterssub69

i've met vanillas who see the BDSM lifestyle as a sexual fad. some even asked (as a pickup line) do you like to be dominated by a man? however upon asking them questions about what aspect of the BDSM they like, they think you're the one with a disease assuming you're a sex slave who loves degrading yourself because you lack the confidence in meeting a real man etc. etc.


You mean you women are not out here to be dominated as sex slaves?

Goddammit!!!!! I have a HUGE case of the red-ass now. Heads will roll, that ain't what I was told!!!!!!!

Ron

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(in reply to mymasterssub69)
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RE: just curiousows that her experiences in this lifest... - 1/12/2007 12:15:04 PM   
mymasterssub69


Posts: 566
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline
not this daughter/submissive, Ron


_____________________________

there is something infinitely magical
about a Daddy Dom
...something only a little girl
can understand.

collared on 16th Jan 2007 by bigsambaman, my Daddy

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: just curiousows that her experiences in this lifest... - 1/12/2007 12:21:44 PM   
MLskajira


Posts: 275
Joined: 2/17/2006
Status: offline 		this girl understands the attatudes of some of Y/you, but she had never met someone who was "vanilla" before that, and it confused her.
yes she did watch t.v., and her family was always talking about current events around the dinner table but that is not the same as close interaction with a group of people.
 when some families live a certain way, for generations, it doesnt occure to them to explain that others do not. this girl's family knew she would figure it out.
she is not making a judgement call on anyone and hopes none of Y/you make one on her or her family.


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RE: just curiousows that her experiences in this lifest... - 1/12/2007 1:57:28 PM   
mbes


Posts: 465
Joined: 12/14/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MLskajira
this girl understands the attatudes of some of Y/you, but she had never met someone who was "vanilla" before that, and it confused her.


I hope you've taken the opportunity to explore the options, now that they've been presented to you, just as I hope "vanillas" who happen across the lifestyle explore their options. :)

(in reply to MLskajira)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: just curiousows that her experiences in this lifest... - 1/12/2007 2:19:44 PM   
valeca


Posts: 403
Joined: 1/9/2006
Status: offline 		MLskajira, I was reading your profile.  Could you explain what a 'pitbitch' is, please? 

Call me curious.


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RE: just curiousows that her experiences in this lifest... - 1/12/2007 2:41:02 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		I was at a tupperware party and the nice things about the "top" was that it kept the air out but sealed the flavor of the food in.

Food lasts longer in those things has anyone else found this experience to be true?

out.

D.G.

p.s. Jesus please protect me from your followers.

(in reply to valeca)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: just curiousows that her experiences in this lifest... - 1/12/2007 2:59:17 PM   
lateralist1


Posts: 886
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline 		I don't think that your experience was that much different than mine.
I was brought up vanilla but I was still brought up to be submissive to men.
I was a sex slave from the age of eight.
I now call it sexual abuse but it has taken me until a few years ago to recognise it.
My parents didn't know.
My teachers didn't spot it.
I didn't even recognise it when I trained to be a teacher and was taught to spot the signs.
I became a social worker I still didn't recognise it in myself.
No one who I ever told my life story to ever suggested that I had been continually abused.
Or suggested that I ought to go to the police.
Not even the doctor that I told.
Women are still expected to be sexually submissive.
As a Domme I expect to take the sexual lead just as I expect to take the lead in every other area of the relationship.
It mildly irritates me when a man doesn't leave the first move up to me now.
And when he doesn't naturally allow me to take control.
Isn't that what submissive men are supposed to do?
A Dom would never expect a submissive woman to make the first move.
What is the difference?
It's one of the reasons why I knew I was not really submissive, not by nature, just by conditioning.
Because I've always wanted to make the first move.
I would like to reiterate the point already made. Are you sure that you are not just sexually conditioned by your nurture?
If it can happen to me then it has probably happened to others.



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Profile   Post #: 16
RE: just curiousows that her experiences in this lifest... - 1/12/2007 3:41:20 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:


...I find it hard to believe anyone's world could be so small as to assume otherwise (even those 'raised in the lifestyle'), but stranger things have been known to happen, I suppose...



some folks are raised in a very sheltered secluded existance.  this slave was.  her parents controlled everything. what music she listened to, what tv programs she was exposed to, her education & social groups she was allowed to associate with were strictly controlled.  she did not spend the night at others houses and lived in a rural community.  they also were very strict about total obedience and submitting to their authority in ALL things.  her bedroom was not hers, it was theirs and they were merely letting her use it, as it PLEASED THEM.  this slave was taught to serve physically and to please the one who was in control of her and everything else and was financially taken care of her entire (including adult) life.  she was made to feel "owned" by them since she can remember.  and not in a BAD way.
 
not everyone ends up socialized the way current psychiatric and psychological theory recommends.

to the OP:
quote:


...(the thought of a 50/50 relationship had never occured to her)...



due to this slave's natural inclinations/early submissive training, it occured to her, just never appealed or felt right for her, sexual or otherwise.

(in reply to valeca)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: just curiousows that her experiences in this lifest... - 1/12/2007 4:20:41 PM   
valeca


Posts: 403
Joined: 1/9/2006
Status: offline 		That's why I added the addendum, "Stranger things have been known to happen, I suppose." ;)

Thanks for sharing with us, beth.  It helped to gain a little insight into a world we're maybe not familiar with.


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RE: just curiousows that her experiences in this lifest... - 1/12/2007 4:55:16 PM   
Daddyslittlgirl


Posts: 16
Joined: 8/12/2006
Status: offline 		I am also very curious about the term pitbitch. What does that mean, I am guessing it is Gorean related?

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RE: just curiousows that her experiences in this lifest... - 1/12/2007 6:51:11 PM   
michaels4evr


Posts: 184
Joined: 8/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

quote:

ORIGINAL: mymasterssub69

i've met vanillas who see the BDSM lifestyle as a sexual fad. some even asked (as a pickup line) do you like to be dominated by a man? however upon asking them questions about what aspect of the BDSM they like, they think you're the one with a disease assuming you're a sex slave who loves degrading yourself because you lack the confidence in meeting a real man etc. etc.


You mean you women are not out here to be dominated as sex slaves?

Goddammit!!!!! I have a HUGE case of the red-ass now. Heads will roll, that ain't what I was told!!!!!!!

Ron


never fear Ron....some of us are!

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 20
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