just curiousows that her experiences in this lifestyle are not common

just curiousows that her experiences in this lifestyle are not common (Full Version)

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MLskajira -> just curiousows that her experiences in this lifestyle are not common (1/12/2007 9:08:22 AM)
this girl knows that her experiences in this lifestyle are not common. she was raised in a household where D/s, M/s and BDSM were the way of life. when she was about 21, she met a man at a party and we hit it off, so this girl asked what she thought was a reasonable question, "are you top or bottom?" to which the response was "huh?" so she said " are you Dom or sub?" he said "what are you talking about?" so this girl explained it to him and he acted appalled and informed her that he wanted it to be 50/50. this girl said "huh?" (the thought of a 50/50 relationship had never occured to her). she is just curious if anyone else has ever had an experiance like that. if anyone out there is like this girl in that she had never known that there were people that wanted an equal, sexual relationship. or is she unique in this area?

Dnomyar -> RE: just curiousows that her experiences in this lifestyle are not common (1/12/2007 9:10:38 AM)
Does the term SWITCH mean anything to you.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: just curiousows that her experiences in this lifestyle are not common (1/12/2007 9:11:49 AM)
The answer to the question that starts "Does anyone else...?" is always Yes. I know when I was age 8 I had no idea why the other kids started calling me names and making me into an outcast because I was ok with kissing boys and girls. We all have those "aha" moments as we grow up and become exposed to new things. Your experience is less likely and less common than most in this particular culture.

mstrjx -> RE: just curiousows that her experiences in this lifestyle are not common (1/12/2007 9:13:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar Does the term SWITCH mean anything to you. I think what she is saying is she had never met vanilla before. In response, I think that would be a unique situation for people who were raised in the Lifestyle. It is rare to see such cases. Jeff

valeca -> RE: just curiousows that her experiences in this lifestyle are not common (1/12/2007 9:59:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MLskajira if anyone out there is like this girl in that she had never known that there were people that wanted an equal, sexual relationship. or is she unique in this area? I'd like to think any reasonable adult who has to function in the world as we know it would know that there are those that do not want a relationship structure based on power exchange, M/s, D/s (a.k.a. 'nilla). I find it hard to believe anyone's world could be so small as to assume otherwise (even those 'raised in the lifestyle'), but stranger things have been known to happen, I suppose.

MaryT -> RE: just curiousows that her experiences in this lifestyle are not common (1/12/2007 10:42:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MLskajira she is just curious if anyone else has ever had an experiance like that. if anyone out there is like this girl in that she had never known that there were people that wanted an equal, sexual relationship. or is she unique in this area? You never watched television or films (especially from the 70s)? The women's lib movement escaped your notice? You and I are from the same era ...

MagiksSlave -> RE: just curiousows that her experiences in this lifestyle are not common (1/12/2007 11:26:40 AM)
I just cant beleave that her parents didnt think it proper to make sure she knew these things.. raising a child in this kind of household you need to be very carefull of things and should be protecting your child and teaching them these kind of things not sending them into the world so unprepared. Magik's slave

LaTigresse -> RE: just curiousows that her experiences in this lifestyle are not common (1/12/2007 11:31:14 AM)
Unfortunately there are no tests that must be passed prior to taking on the responsibility of parenthood. You wanna get a drivers liscense, be prepared to take classes, tests, eye exams, etc. You wanna keep it you have to follow all the laws of the road, no drinking, no speeding, etc etc, cuz god forbid you put anyone else's life in the least little bit of danger. You wanna be a mommy or daddy, get laid.........tadaaaaaaaaa!

mymasterssub69 -> RE: just curiousows that her experiences in this lifestyle are not common (1/12/2007 12:09:45 PM)
i've met vanillas who see the BDSM lifestyle as a sexual fad. some even asked (as a pickup line) do you like to be dominated by a man? however upon asking them questions about what aspect of the BDSM they like, they think you're the one with a disease assuming you're a sex slave who loves degrading yourself because you lack the confidence in meeting a real man etc. etc.

mnottertail -> RE: just curiousows that her experiences in this lifestyle are not common (1/12/2007 12:12:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mymasterssub69 i've met vanillas who see the BDSM lifestyle as a sexual fad. some even asked (as a pickup line) do you like to be dominated by a man? however upon asking them questions about what aspect of the BDSM they like, they think you're the one with a disease assuming you're a sex slave who loves degrading yourself because you lack the confidence in meeting a real man etc. etc. You mean you women are not out here to be dominated as sex slaves? Goddammit!!!!! I have a HUGE case of the red-ass now. Heads will roll, that ain't what I was told!!!!!!! Ron

mymasterssub69 -> RE: just curiousows that her experiences in this lifestyle are not common (1/12/2007 12:15:04 PM)
[sm=crop.gif] not this daughter/submissive, Ron

MLskajira -> RE: just curiousows that her experiences in this lifestyle are not common (1/12/2007 12:21:44 PM)
this girl understands the attatudes of some of Y/you, but she had never met someone who was "vanilla" before that, and it confused her. yes she did watch t.v., and her family was always talking about current events around the dinner table but that is not the same as close interaction with a group of people. when some families live a certain way, for generations, it doesnt occure to them to explain that others do not. this girl's family knew she would figure it out. she is not making a judgement call on anyone and hopes none of Y/you make one on her or her family.

mbes -> RE: just curiousows that her experiences in this lifestyle are not common (1/12/2007 1:57:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MLskajira this girl understands the attatudes of some of Y/you, but she had never met someone who was "vanilla" before that, and it confused her. I hope you've taken the opportunity to explore the options, now that they've been presented to you, just as I hope "vanillas" who happen across the lifestyle explore their options. :)

valeca -> RE: just curiousows that her experiences in this lifestyle are not common (1/12/2007 2:19:44 PM)
MLskajira, I was reading your profile. Could you explain what a 'pitbitch' is, please? Call me curious.

domiguy -> RE: just curiousows that her experiences in this lifestyle are not common (1/12/2007 2:41:02 PM)
I was at a tupperware party and the nice things about the "top" was that it kept the air out but sealed the flavor of the food in. Food lasts longer in those things has anyone else found this experience to be true? out. D.G. p.s. Jesus please protect me from your followers.

lateralist1 -> RE: just curiousows that her experiences in this lifestyle are not common (1/12/2007 2:59:17 PM)
I don't think that your experience was that much different than mine. I was brought up vanilla but I was still brought up to be submissive to men. I was a sex slave from the age of eight. I now call it sexual abuse but it has taken me until a few years ago to recognise it. My parents didn't know. My teachers didn't spot it. I didn't even recognise it when I trained to be a teacher and was taught to spot the signs. I became a social worker I still didn't recognise it in myself. No one who I ever told my life story to ever suggested that I had been continually abused. Or suggested that I ought to go to the police. Not even the doctor that I told. Women are still expected to be sexually submissive. As a Domme I expect to take the sexual lead just as I expect to take the lead in every other area of the relationship. It mildly irritates me when a man doesn't leave the first move up to me now. And when he doesn't naturally allow me to take control. Isn't that what submissive men are supposed to do? A Dom would never expect a submissive woman to make the first move. What is the difference? It's one of the reasons why I knew I was not really submissive, not by nature, just by conditioning. Because I've always wanted to make the first move. I would like to reiterate the point already made. Are you sure that you are not just sexually conditioned by your nurture? If it can happen to me then it has probably happened to others.

Mercnbeth -> RE: just curiousows that her experiences in this lifestyle are not common (1/12/2007 3:41:20 PM)
quote: ...I find it hard to believe anyone's world could be so small as to assume otherwise (even those 'raised in the lifestyle'), but stranger things have been known to happen, I suppose... some folks are raised in a very sheltered secluded existance. this slave was. her parents controlled everything. what music she listened to, what tv programs she was exposed to, her education & social groups she was allowed to associate with were strictly controlled. she did not spend the night at others houses and lived in a rural community. they also were very strict about total obedience and submitting to their authority in ALL things. her bedroom was not hers, it was theirs and they were merely letting her use it, as it PLEASED THEM. this slave was taught to serve physically and to please the one who was in control of her and everything else and was financially taken care of her entire (including adult) life. she was made to feel "owned" by them since she can remember. and not in a BAD way. not everyone ends up socialized the way current psychiatric and psychological theory recommends. to the OP: quote: ...(the thought of a 50/50 relationship had never occured to her)... due to this slave's natural inclinations/early submissive training, it occured to her, just never appealed or felt right for her, sexual or otherwise.

valeca -> RE: just curiousows that her experiences in this lifestyle are not common (1/12/2007 4:20:41 PM)
That's why I added the addendum, "Stranger things have been known to happen, I suppose." ;) Thanks for sharing with us, beth. It helped to gain a little insight into a world we're maybe not familiar with.

Daddyslittlgirl -> RE: just curiousows that her experiences in this lifestyle are not common (1/12/2007 4:55:16 PM)
I am also very curious about the term pitbitch. What does that mean, I am guessing it is Gorean related?

michaels4evr -> RE: just curiousows that her experiences in this lifestyle are not common (1/12/2007 6:51:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail quote: ORIGINAL: mymasterssub69 i've met vanillas who see the BDSM lifestyle as a sexual fad. some even asked (as a pickup line) do you like to be dominated by a man? however upon asking them questions about what aspect of the BDSM they like, they think you're the one with a disease assuming you're a sex slave who loves degrading yourself because you lack the confidence in meeting a real man etc. etc. You mean you women are not out here to be dominated as sex slaves? Goddammit!!!!! I have a HUGE case of the red-ass now. Heads will roll, that ain't what I was told!!!!!!! Ron never fear Ron....some of us are!

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