RE: slave vs. submissive

RE: slave vs. submissive (Full Version)

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mstrjx -> RE: slave vs. submissive (1/11/2007 12:14:01 PM)
For some odd reason I don't mind getting into the 'labels' argument, if I have something to say that is relevant. Oftentimes I've said that the difference between a submissive and slave is 'surrender'. I really do believe this to be true. And, I feel that much of that determination comes from within rather than without. You really 'want' to be one thing or another, so you yourself makes that happen. But I have an analogy that I like as well, if you haven't heard this before. Submission is like being in a box. The sides of the box are the decisions you make that are part of the definitions of what bits of decisions or control you want to give up or not. You do want to have your clothes dictated. You don't want to have your finances controlled. Call them limits. Call them grey areas. Call them whatever. But in doing so, in having these boundaries, many things will come up that will get you to expand the size of the box, or at least let you reexamine your own preset 'rules'. For instance, in the example above, you are instructed to obtain a certain item of clothing you do not currently have. Clothes is 'ok', but being instructed to pay for it (part of finances) is not. What to do? It seems inevitable that 'the box' is going to be repeatedly examined, again and again. It is possible that this might become tiresome. It is also possible that all of this time worrying about 'the box' really means spending time concerning yourself with 'you' (i.e., your identity). More time on 'you', less time on serving the needs of another. A slave, through hook, crook, or trust (or a combination of all), decides that 'the box' is unneccesary. If you don't have to worry about what is 'in bounds' or 'out of bounds' (because it's ALL 'in bounds) then you can cease focussing your concerns on yourself, and get about the business of serving. Which is what you really wanted to do in the first place. This contention would follow, then, that the act of giving oneself as a slave is actually a 'freeing' act, rather than a 'confining' one. Having said all of this, I do not find fault or wish to demean submissives. They can certainly live their life as they need. Maybe they cannot for a variety of reasons 'surrender'. In either case, taking the selfless road is not necessarily an easy one, but should be respected and applauded. Jeff

mnottertail -> RE: slave vs. submissive (1/11/2007 1:11:52 PM)
Alotta times slave and submissive is spelled differently...that is a biggie. Ron

juliaoceania -> RE: slave vs. submissive (1/11/2007 1:31:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: darkbigdaddy There are three things a person can do for a Dom: Service, Submit or be Owned. Service: Participate in an action for the Dom. Submit: Give up control. Owned: Behave as you are property. A submissive can serve or submit but this can be only a temporary thing. There is choice here. My Jane Doe may submit in the bedroom or serve me or a friend - but she would never claim to be my property or be willing to be called my property. Moreover, she defines what she does. I once had a girl who ONLY gave bj's. Nothing else but that. A slave is the Dom's property. She could be 24/7 or whenever the collar is on but if the switch is turn on, she is totally under my power and protection. A slave can be told to do anything and is expected to do it -- limits or no limits. A kind Master wouldn't push a limit but at the same point a good slave usually will do it anyway. If you tell a slave to walk out in traffic, better have a butt like a bumper. Without writing a book on the subject that is it in a nut shell. Funny, as time passes in my relationship my Daddy often refers to me as his property. I am not collared... yet. I certainly refer to myself as a submissive and not a slave. I also do what is told to me all the time, not some of the time. If he tells me to do something, I do it. I may have questions, but I do it, 100% of the time, no exceptions. He has limits, I have limits... we have a pretty good synergy when it comes to our collective limits. We planned it that way[:D]

katerzkat -> RE: slave vs. submissive (1/11/2007 3:52:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress as LA says every one has thier own definitions here is mine.... you know how you can be a "slave" to your cell phone? or a "slave" to CNN? You cant seemingly live with out it, it now runs your life? somewhere, some how a line gets crossed, and to be with out the thing or person you are a slave to, your life changes in value....and your value changes in life. thats how i see the differnce in its most simple and broad terms. wow. & i my initial reaction was to think, "well, i'm going to say 'submissive', because i can't quite handle 'slave'..." but, defined this way, 'slave' it really is for me...

Wolfspet -> RE: slave vs. submissive (1/12/2007 6:54:33 AM)
Slaves are the ones who were to stupid to hide a spare key for the morning.

MasterDaddyBredr -> RE: slave vs. submissive (1/12/2007 3:59:38 PM)
Yes and Yes. In the relationship, I guess it can be whatever is arranged by the two (or more) in such a relationship. However..with that said.... There is a basic difference in the 2. A Submissive - is just that. A person who submits to the authority of another but retaining all personal an basic "rights" as any other human woudl retain. A sub would be able to say "no" to certain things or "not that way but this way." A slave, on the other hand, is basically understood to to have no rights. Many say this is a Gorean ethic. Maybe it is. I see it as a slave has no rights or posessions of anykind. Her thoughts are to be as her/his Master's. Never seeking her/his own but seeking whatever pleases the Master. The slave is basically and unconditionally owned body, mind and soul. A true slave ( My opinion) would have it no other way. Again, just My opinion based on experiences and readings...I could be wrong ( Thank You Dennis Miller).

Celeste43 -> RE: slave vs. submissive (1/12/2007 7:00:03 PM)
Defined in each individual relationship. I retain the rights I as neither able nor willing to give over; specifically my assets and my family are mine to decide about. We're monogamous as we discussed early on because neither of us has the time to go looking, nor am I willing to introduce another to my family plus I couldn't handle it. My emotional triggers exist and I was as honest about them. His decision whether or not to accept me despite these pre-existing conditions. My decision to choose a man who could accept me as I am. I don't normally go about refusing things for no reason. I do reserve the right to give him info he lacks when he's making a decision I can see will go south. He wants me to as making decisions in the dark isn't a good way to get a positive result. I'm a sub because I'm a 50 plus Jew and to me a slave indicates someone in a concentration camp. For that same reason body modifications are a hard limit. My emotional needs and background here take precedence over someone else's definition. He doesn't really care what I call myself. We're very low protocol.

MistressSassy66 -> RE: slave vs. submissive (1/13/2007 9:16:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: deeddlit Ok folks...what is the difference between a slave and a submissive?? Is this something that is defined for each individual relationship or is there a general definition? curious In addition and totally off subject...I am changing origianl signiture...was using MistressGaia and now using Ladydeeddlit...I feel Ladydeeddlit and for whatever reason MistressGaia never gave me that. Who the fuck knows and I largely don't care. :P Ladydeeddlit Slaves to Me have some sort of a stronger commitment.Whether its living in/collared(that they wear always). Submissives dont ever live in with Me.they can be collared but its used only during sessions. But thats just My take they are no set rules that I know of.

marieToo -> RE: slave vs. submissive (1/13/2007 9:35:14 AM)
General Reply to Topic: Theres isn't a difference to me. There are only different levels of potency (sp?) that people seem to enjoy. A "slave" is one who partners up with someone whose limits don't exceed her/his own. They arent giving any more than anyone else or committing anymore than anyone else; they are merely going towards that which they enjoy with someone who enjoys being their counterpart. A "submissive" can be defined the same way.

Totalmaster4you -> RE: slave vs. submissive (1/13/2007 11:30:31 PM)
To quote peggyO........What about switches? {should I have capitalized that sS?} I'm so confused{should I have capitalized that c}LOL

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: slave vs. submissive (1/14/2007 12:32:13 AM)
Nobody cares about switches, we're just confused players who don't really fit anywhere because they're just trying to be something they aren't.

LATEXBABY64 -> RE: slave vs. submissive (1/15/2007 5:03:35 PM)
all a point of view i guess

ShogunSensei -> RE: slave vs. submissive (1/16/2007 12:26:09 PM)
I have seen this one discussed many times over the years...often times quite heatedly. Depending on personal perspective of where one is at and how the "other" lives. chuckles I have distilled it down for myself into very simple terms. Submissives submit. Slaves surrender.

LordVelvet -> RE: slave vs. submissive (1/16/2007 1:08:52 PM)
LA you make Me smile. Thank you.

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