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simplewhispers -> Since joining the site (1/7/2007 5:24:04 PM)

I have had a review of my life and the style I want to live it. I came here with a DOM and that relationship has been terminated,makes me sad , but just not what I need at this point. What I would like is someone who is tender and patient... I have a very willing heart, but I have no desire to be misused or abused..... is this possible in this lifestyle? Am I fooling myself ?



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Since joining the site (1/7/2007 5:26:37 PM)

Of course it's possible.  No one has a desire to be unfulfilled.  You just have to make the right choices for yourself to get you down that path.  There are mistakes which will be made, but the obvious ones are easy to avoid if you really use good judgement.

Just have to realize it really is all in your hands.



gooddogbenji -> RE: Since joining the site (1/7/2007 5:28:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Just have to realize it really is all in your hands.


Potentially the best advice anyone has ever given anyone.

Yours,


benji



simplewhispers -> RE: Since joining the site (1/7/2007 5:29:50 PM)

well during the past week or so my thoughts on this lifestyle have really been shaken , seems like all I hear or see is the bad in it ..... I had someone asked me to set him on fire, and someone tell me that a collar is only to lead me by ..... my idea of my Owners collar was a bond ..... not something to actually pull me around by ....



bandit25 -> RE: Since joining the site (1/7/2007 5:31:29 PM)

Of course it's all in your hands.  You make your choices, don't you?  Just choose wisely.



simplewhispers -> RE: Since joining the site (1/7/2007 5:35:21 PM)

well I must say again , I am new to this lifestyle, so I really dont know the depth of it , that is why I seem so "green" because I AM ...... which I am sure you all were at one point in time, what I am seeking is encouragement and guidance.....



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Since joining the site (1/7/2007 5:35:51 PM)

quote:


Potentially the best advice anyone has ever given anyone.

Yours,


benji

Anyone has the POTENTIAL to give great advice.

*snicker*

Thanks Benji, nice to see you back.



Zsuzsanna -> RE: Since joining the site (1/7/2007 5:41:25 PM)

I am also of the mind that humiliation is not for me. (if I took the correct meaning from your post) Such things do not interest me and have no place in my life.

quote:

ORIGINAL: simplewhispers
someone tell me that a collar is only to lead me by ..... my idea of my Owners collar was a bond ..... not something to actually pull me around by ....


But (and I am being serious), why can't it be both?



crouchingtigress -> RE: Since joining the site (1/7/2007 5:43:42 PM)

quote:

Anyone has the POTENTIAL to give great advice.



oh chit.



TxBlkMistress -> RE: Since joining the site (1/7/2007 5:47:15 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: simplewhispers

I have had a review of my life and the style I want to live it. I came here with a DOM and that relationship has been terminated,makes me sad , but just not what I need at this point. What I would like is someone who is tender and patient... I have a very willing heart, but I have no desire to be misused or abused..... is this possible in this lifestyle? Am I fooling myself ?


You've been here less than a month...the key is to take "time"...get to know who you are talking to....because you are new your profile probably pops up a lot right now...so you will get all the trolls....it will dwindle after a while

the main thing is like L.A. said...it's in your hands...you don't have to go with any of them



BRNaughtyAngel -> RE: Since joining the site (1/7/2007 5:47:25 PM)

If you know what it is you seek in a relationship, then work to find a dominant who is seeking the same or similar. 

I would offer a suggestion though...... I understand that some aspects of a BDSM relationship can seem scary or distasteful to some, and that's perfectly okay.  Do not do anything you aren't comfy with.  But I'd suggest keeping an open mind about things that might not necessarily sound appealing to you right now.  It doesn't mean you have to agree to do them, just keep an open mind.  From reading profiles and posts here on the forum from Dom/me's, the more open a submissive is to learning and growing, the more appealing they seem to be, which could open up more possibilities for you to find a compatible dominant.

No one says you HAVE to do anything, but you may find that once you find a dominant that you trust, who challenges you as a person, a woman and a submissive, well..... you may just find yourself becoming more open to trying more than you thought you would have.

It might seem like it sometimes, but I don't think that all of us just woke up one day and went from being vanilla to thinking, GAWD I'd love to be lead around on a collar and leash by my perverted partner.  [:D] [;)]

Good luck to you!




TemptingNviceSub -> RE: Since joining the site (1/7/2007 6:35:30 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: simplewhispers

well I must say again , I am new to this lifestyle, so I really dont know the depth of it , that is why I seem so "green" because I AM ...... which I am sure you all were at one point in time, what I am seeking is encouragement and guidance.....
You have been given some guidance with regards to your question.The encouragement however sometimes needs to lie within your own hands....Tempting



ownedgirlie -> RE: Since joining the site (1/7/2007 7:09:40 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
Anyone has the POTENTIAL to give great advice.

*snicker*


LOL careful with that word (Eugene)



SirDominic -> RE: Since joining the site (1/7/2007 7:11:46 PM)

simple, there as many versions of this lifestyle as there are people in it. It is just a matter of finding a Dom who wants the same sort of relationship you do.

One thing YOU must do is sit yourself down and really think about what it is you are looking for. What draws you to this lifestyle? What are you looking to get out of it? The better that you can define what it is you want, the better you will be able to judge whether potential Doms are going to be suitable for you.

With respect, Sir Dominic



crouchingtigress -> RE: Since joining the site (1/7/2007 7:15:26 PM)

quote:


LOL careful with that word (Eugene)


OMG thank you for that obscure refferance owned!!! that was top notch



obis -> RE: Since joining the site (1/7/2007 8:30:07 PM)

What you are looking for is out there. Don't settle. One of the most common mistakes/problems I see new people have is jumping into a BDSM relationship with the first person they meet who is slightly compatible, just because they're so excited to finally be able to do the things they always dreamed of. But if they aren't done with the right care or malice or whatever you need, it will ultimately be unfulfilling. There are tender, patient doms, as well as cold, obnoxious doms, and everything in-between.



SlaveAkasha -> RE: Since joining the site (1/7/2007 9:23:25 PM)

There are plenty of "nice guys" that are Doms.. it's just waiting and sorting through the ones that don't match what you are looking for in the meantime.
 
Mine is like that.. he isn't rough, he doesn't abuse me, treats me like a partner, but I always know I am his slave.
 
Yours will come along, but it won't probably happen easily.  There will be a lot that write you and try to collar you in days, that's not the way it should work.  Keep your options open and he will eventually find you. 
 
Being new to things, it wouldn't hurt to become friends with other subs/slaves and learn more about how things work, maybe local groups are available for you also.
 
The main thing is, be smart in your choices and don't give up....and NEVER, EVER...settle.
 
Best Wishes,
His Kasha



simplewhispers -> RE: Since joining the site (1/7/2007 9:28:52 PM)

in reply to someones statement that I had been here less than a mth to give it time, I just wanted to say I joined this site after becoming committed to one person ,I did not come here seeking a Dom in the beginning, yes I know it takes time , its very hard on the heart sometimes though ..... thanks for the advice ..... and guidance



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