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Kiss or Hug or nothing? - 1/1/2007 5:26:51 AM

openmindedslave

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When your at play or in session, and the person your with (that being the sub or slave) has finished their time with you, do they leave you with receiving a kiss, or a hug or something else?

This question does not pertain to married or longterm relationship partners but more to those who play with others as either a pro or occassional .

The reason for the question is I have spoken to others that feel the hug is acceptable for a good bye , while a kiss is something more personal. I was woundering how others felt about the importance of either at the end of playing?
Does it somehow ever leave subs/slaves getting the wrong idea or take away from training in some way?

Post #: 1

RE: Kiss or Hug or nothing? - 1/1/2007 5:29:01 AM

JohnWarren

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From: Delray Beach, FL
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quote:

ORIGINAL: openmindedslave

When your at play or in session, and the person your with (that being the sub or slave) has finished their time with you, do they leave you with receiving a kiss, or a hug or something else?

This question does not pertain to married or longterm relationship partners but more to those who play with others as either a pro or occassional .

The reason for the question is I have spoken to others that feel the hug is acceptable for a good bye , while a kiss is something more personal. I was woundering how others felt about the importance of either at the end of playing?
Does it somehow ever leave subs/slaves getting the wrong idea or take away from training in some way?

Just what do you mean by "the wrong idea?"

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Post #: 2

RE: Kiss or Hug or nothing? - 1/1/2007 5:43:11 AM

bandit25

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I think it depends on the dynamic of the two people playing. I've seen both and I hadn't noticed any negative results.

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Post #: 3

RE: Kiss or Hug or nothing? - 1/1/2007 5:53:44 AM

LaTigresse

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The question you pose is too vague with too many variables to answer properly. In addition I noticed that to had the word "training" in there. Quite often, especially in the context your presented, physical play has nothing at all to do with training. I think it is more often sensation play or Top/bottom.

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Post #: 4

RE: Kiss or Hug or nothing? - 1/1/2007 5:58:30 AM

MsSonnetMarwood

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From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
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I think this is more aimed at pros, as the OP states, hence the euphemism of "training" in place of play.

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RE: Kiss or Hug or nothing? - 1/1/2007 6:12:00 AM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsSonnetMarwood

I think this is more aimed at pros, as the OP states, hence the euphemism of "training" in place of play.

Ahhh haaaaaaa, maybe it is my brain that is being to vague this morning!

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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Post #: 6

RE: Kiss or Hug or nothing? - 1/1/2007 6:35:18 AM

openmindedslave

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I am sorry for my vagueness. I see so many on line discuss their infliction of pain or take a harsh stance with a sub or slave from the stnd point of interaction with them. Of course this is one aspect of the interest here..But it made me wounder, how importain is the softer side or the abilty to just to show that person that they meant something to you . I guess how do you show that sub or slave that everything they go through for you really matters? What do you do that really makes the sub/slave feel you are happy with them? Sorry ,It may sound to vague again..

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Post #: 7

RE: Kiss or Hug or nothing? - 1/1/2007 7:36:13 AM

LaTigresse

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Open, don't be sorry. Some of us struggle more than others getting thoughts into the written word in a manner that makes sense to others.

I think the answers you get to this question will vary almost as much as the number of individuals that answer. All I can answer for is myself. For me it is all tied up in a relationship. One that is as multifaceted as most other relationships. Therefore there would always be a balance of caring and affection, both physical and otherwise.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to openmindedslave)

Post #: 8

RE: Kiss or Hug or nothing? - 1/1/2007 7:50:51 AM

adaddysgirl

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From: Syracuse, NY
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open,

Are you asking that after a play or training session, should there be a hug or kiss good bye type of thing?
Would a sub like that?
Or would the Dom/Domme think it was not necessary or appropriate....or too personal?

i really can't answer this as i have never played casually but i'm just trying to get it straight on what you are asking

Daddysgirl

(in reply to openmindedslave)

Post #: 9

RE: Kiss or Hug or nothing? - 1/1/2007 7:55:07 AM

amaidiamond

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From: Watford / London
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Personally from a subs point of view, It is usually a hug afterwards, I don't play with strangers, the people I play with who are not my Dom are long term scene friends, people I fully know and trust and who I am allowed to do an S+m scene with, but there is always a hug afterwards, it's part of *coming down* to me.
I think if I knew a Dom/me just walked away after a scene i'd be much much less inclined to play with them.

(in reply to adaddysgirl)

Post #: 10

RE: Kiss or Hug or nothing? - 1/1/2007 8:08:21 AM

MysticFireTopaz

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From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
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quote:

ORIGINAL: openmindedslave

When your at play or in session, and the person your with (that being the sub or slave) has finished their time with you, do they leave you with receiving a kiss, or a hug or something else?

This question does not pertain to married or longterm relationship partners but more to those who play with others as either a pro or occassional .

The reason for the question is I have spoken to others that feel the hug is acceptable for a good bye , while a kiss is something more personal. I was woundering how others felt about the importance of either at the end of playing?
Does it somehow ever leave subs/slaves getting the wrong idea or take away from training in some way?

Well, I am not a pro, but do play with people on a casual basis from time to time at play parties. I agree about the kiss being very personal and would never end a scene with someone I played with casually in that manner. That would be reserved for a sub with whom I was romantically involved. There are people I play with on a occasional basis whom I consider friends, but they are not suitable long-term relationship material. It do hug some of them at the end of a scene. Sometimes I hug people I played with for the first time, too, sometimes not. It really depends on the person and the type of scene W/we had. Sometimes I am inclined to request some pampering (or I suppose you could call it Top aftercare) after a scene. Sometimes I will let the sub rub My feet or back if I am pleased with them.

With respect to the remark, "take away from the training in some way," that is not applicable in My case. When I play with someone casually, I don't consider it training. I don't invest My time and energy in training a submissive unless that person is someone I am either considering for a possible long-term relationship, or am actually in a long-term relationship with already.

Lady Topaz

< Message edited by MysticFireTopaz -- 1/1/2007 8:14:18 AM >

(in reply to openmindedslave)

Post #: 11

RE: Kiss or Hug or nothing? - 1/1/2007 8:10:19 AM

Tikkiee

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In the past, when I have played with someone; I just want them to leave me alone afterwards. No hug, no kisses, no nothing...just walk away

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RE: Kiss or Hug or nothing? - 1/1/2007 8:15:48 AM

SweetSarijane

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From: KC area Missouri
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Whether it's a male or female friend who tops me, there is always at least a hug after and many times there is a cuddling/snuggling period as part of aftercare. Kisses however, no. That is more a relationship thing in my neck of the woods at least.

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Post #: 13

RE: Kiss or Hug or nothing? - 1/1/2007 9:01:33 AM

Nosathro

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From: Orange County, California
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greetings openmindedslave

Well, if I understand the question, I do sit down with the slave and discuss with her what happened. I let her ask any questions and I make sure that she is alright both phyiscally and emotionally, I do give a gentle hug at the end.

I wish you well

Nosathro

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Post #: 14

RE: Kiss or Hug or nothing? - 1/1/2007 10:15:19 AM

MagiksSlave

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Im confused are you asking about after care???

Magik's slave

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If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to Nosathro)

Post #: 15

RE: Kiss or Hug or nothing? - 1/1/2007 10:30:35 AM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
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quote:

ORIGINAL: openmindedslave

When your at play or in session, and the person your with (that being the sub or slave) has finished their time with you, do they leave you with receiving a kiss, or a hug or something else?

This question does not pertain to married or longterm relationship partners but more to those who play with others as either a pro or occassional .

The reason for the question is I have spoken to others that feel the hug is acceptable for a good bye , while a kiss is something more personal. I was woundering how others felt about the importance of either at the end of playing?
Does it somehow ever leave subs/slaves getting the wrong idea or take away from training in some way?

I prefer to give a pat on the shoulder. (assuming you meant they are all right from any aftercare post mortem)

< Message edited by LotusSong -- 1/1/2007 10:34:07 AM >

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I'm not inflatable.

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Post #: 16

RE: Kiss or Hug or nothing? - 1/1/2007 10:39:40 AM

JohnWarren

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From: Delray Beach, FL
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A lot depends on the desires of both then.

It has been said that men cuddle to get sex and women give sex to get cuddles.

I beat to get cuddles (among other things). To simply perform a pain scene would leave me feeling used.

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www.lovingdominant.org

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Post #: 17

RE: Kiss or Hug or nothing? - 1/1/2007 10:44:14 AM

openmindedslave

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I see I am making some sense to the question.YesI mean afterwards. That down time.I see many give the classic hug ..yet some have said touching is not importain at all... Maybe its me ..but the feel of another who embrasses you in either a long drwn out hug or a special look afterwards shows a level of trust and acceptance to a sub or slave..Of course thats me...Just wondering how a superior sees it for their own taste..

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 18

RE: Kiss or Hug or nothing? - 1/1/2007 12:48:53 PM

thetammyjo

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When I still played more casually, I would definitely hug someone at the end of our time together. In fact, we'd usually go out for dinner or coffee or something to help each other come down and get regrounded.

I only kiss people I am romantically involved with which is not most of the people I scene with, then or now. In my culture a kiss can signal a sexual intimacy and since sex is not on the plate for most of my subs or slaves, I don't want to make any sort of action that could suggest otherwise.

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(in reply to openmindedslave)

Post #: 19

RE: Kiss or Hug or nothing? - 1/4/2007 3:52:21 PM

luv2smellfarts

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Joined: 1/3/2007
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I've usually gotten a hug from mistress after playtime is over and I have taken a shower.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 20

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