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RE: BBW/BBM - 12/31/2006 11:25:05 AM   
MzTlaz


Posts: 140
Joined: 8/8/2006
Status: offline 		The problem I have with the term BBW is not the size of the person...it's more to do with announcing that you're beautiful...and some should definately just use the one B.  After all isn't beauty in the eye of the beholder and doesn't announcing it seem like you're trying to convince everyone and maybe yourself?

Labels......toss 'em!

(in reply to justheather)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: BBW/BBM - 12/31/2006 11:31:34 AM   
justheather


Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MzTlaz

Labels......toss 'em!

I agree. It isnt a term I make a habit of using. In fact, aside from the message boards, I dont really think the term has a place in my life. I wouldnt describe someone that way, and the term has always seemed, as you said, a little bit depricating, as it implies that one has to create special circumstances under which she is considered beautiful...like yes, Im fat BUT Im also beautiful (Implying that the two dont normally go together). Of course, it can be a term that gives women a sense of empowerment and freedom to love themselves, so I say if people want to use a label and it works for them, it's hunky dory with me.


_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to MzTlaz)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: BBW/BBM - 12/31/2006 11:36:31 AM   
krista


Posts: 109
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Greetings......

For those of you unsure of what a BBW is.....feel free to scroll up and view my pic...

regards
krista
joy through service

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: BBW/BBM - 12/31/2006 11:43:29 AM   
MzTlaz


Posts: 140
Joined: 8/8/2006
Status: offline 		Oh...I don't mind people using labels either on themselves or others....because it actually says a lot about that person, good and bad.  I'll use labels on myself too, but a lot of thought goes into that, sometimes I'll label myself in a way that will make people back off because their judgement process associates something to that label that scares them...even if it's a trait I don't possess.  And sometimes a label can be used just to shake someone out of their normal thought pattern.

I just can't imagine giving myself a label that says I'm beautiful...lol...that's for other people to do!  ;)

(in reply to justheather)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: BBW/BBM - 12/31/2006 11:46:14 AM   
krista


Posts: 109
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Greetings......

i'm a firm believer in "charity begins at home"...

regards
krista
joy through service

(in reply to MzTlaz)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: BBW/BBM - 12/31/2006 11:50:51 AM   
justheather


Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: krista

Greetings......

i'm a firm believer in "charity begins at home"...

regards
krista
joy through service


Wow, krista, I love that you said that. Just two days ago I was contemplating the very same saying "Charity begins at home" and how "charity" means "love" and how important it is that our home/family is a place/entity of acceptance, love and validation.
And now you've added to that idea for me...that being loving and gentle with the self is just as important as creating charity in my home and family.
I hope you will keep posting. Based on what you've had to say so far, I look forward to hearing (and discussing) more with you.
And by the way, you strike me most definately as a BW.

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to krista)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: BBW/BBM - 12/31/2006 11:51:20 AM   
BBBTBW


Posts: 836
Joined: 5/21/2004
Status: offline 		I am a BBBTBW

Big
Beautiful
BODACIOUS
Tall
Black
Woman

I LOVE who and what I am. I have always been taller and bigger than everyone of my peers.  This has never been a problem for me.  Those that have those self esteem issues are those that absorb the negativity that the general public likes to dish out.  I have a rubber forcefield that is impenetrable.

_____________________________

"You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means" -- Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride

(in reply to Lorgrom)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: BBW/BBM - 12/31/2006 11:52:35 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

First of all I'm not trying to disrespect anyone at all I just ask out of curiousity.
No disrespect noted.
quote:

I was wondering do you who are BBW or BBM's (bb male..) feel happy being BB or would you change it if you could or do you feel just very happy being BB?
I'm a relatively happy person, since I decided that I will be one.   When I was younger, I was more unhappy about not fitting in for other reasons than my size.  I really only became more aware of my size in the last several years being around women who obssess about weight/size all the time, and drool over what the stars look like in magazines.  How happy about one looks has a great deal to do with what one was fed mentally/emotionally and physically as a child.   I cannot stand the number of little girls and now boys less than 12 who worry about and develop eating disorders as a result of sick parents feeding them bad information (teaching them to hate themselves) instead of simply feeding them apropriate amounts of good food, information (about people being different and okay), and activity.

quote:

or have you learnt to accept that you're BB but would still like to change if you got the opportunity to..(don't exactly know how to put this one into words)
I never hated my body to be honest...   I've had a few people indicate that I should by way of "you have great self esteem for being your size."   So the secret I guess is to never have learned to hate your body in the first place.   Don't get me wrong, I'm insecure about plenty of things including being seen as the antithesis to the perfect blond/slim beauty in these United States, but certainly not sufficiently for it to fuck my mind in any significant way.

Would I prefer to be smaller?    If I woke up tomorrow without being ill (as one can lose 25-75pounds in months from horrible illness), and without having to quit eating/doing the things I enjoy at a size 14-16 instead of 18-20, would I like it, sure;  but would I like to stop eating things I enjoy and work out at the gym everyday to do it, nah...  
Anyone who uses the term BBW/BHM and considers him/herself a beautiful human being is fine with me as well, whether or not I agree that he/she is.   Usually no one has an issue with a thin person calling him/helself beautiful as if the number on the scale is what indicates presence or absence of beauty. 

P.S.  Reply to Julia= a BBW is anyone over the size of 16 in women as I know.   I like the term BBW because it fits me; I suppose if I were ugly, I'd simply say I'm a big lady.     Anyone who uses the term and considers him/herself a beautiful human being is fine with me as well.     M

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 12/31/2006 11:58:33 AM >

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to MissyRane)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: BBW/BBM - 12/31/2006 11:59:29 AM   
SassyMistress3


Posts: 5
Joined: 12/12/2006
Status: offline 		I for one love BBM's just can't seem to find any here in Oregon that don't live half way across Oregon.
I am not tiny weight wise,but not fluffy, I am stuck in between. Does that make me in a new catagory? BNW ( Big normal woman) ?

I think as long as you like who you are then you should'nt label yourself or anyone else, unless it is to let someone know you are into that type of person.

I for one to describe myself, I am 4'12" Red hair and sassy. I get may phone calls to go to the bar on St. Patricks day to be a Leprocaun. I laugh and just go with it.

Just remember to be your own best friend, you are your own worst enemy aren't you?

_____________________________

"Don't sleep in the wet spot, make your subbie do it"!

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: BBW/BBM - 12/31/2006 12:50:03 PM   
Chakota


Posts: 9
Joined: 5/31/2006
Status: offline 		What has troubled me for years is the need to identify by and with body mass or the lack thereof. 
I pump a lot of iron, a lot of iron every day but it has absolutely nothing at all to do with anything other then health and well-being. Personally I do not give a damn what others think of me or how they view me or if they find my physical appearance pleasing or displeasing.
Frankly, I detest even using the word submissive or slave to describe my inner most passions. Hell without speaking a word any woman with at least one functioning neuron will identify immediately the natural state of my being and the need to title me slave or submissive is as feebleminded as is the need to title the fuller figure BBW.
Often I have pondered what is the deeper reason, why a woman would insult my intellect intelligence and vision by telling me she is a BBW or even fuller figured or a size 20 or even 26. Its as if she assumes I am blind or so shallow and empty I cannot find the woman beneath the surface or identify the quality in content of her character. Actually it doesn't just trouble me, it pisses me off.


(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: BBW/BBM - 12/31/2006 1:47:43 PM   
krista


Posts: 109
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Greetings justheather..

Thank you for your kind words...they are greatly appreciated...i really believe that if you do not present yourself as someone special...you will not be viewed as such...Does that make me...the most special...or more special than another??....no..everyone has something special about them......i thank you for noticing my unique brand of that very thing......

best regards
krista
joy through service

(in reply to justheather)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: BBW/BBM - 12/31/2006 2:24:40 PM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		I've never been happy with the way i look and don't think i ever will be.
I've learnt to accept my appearance now though

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to krista)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: BBW/BBM - 12/31/2006 3:07:12 PM   
orfunboi


Posts: 1223
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

can someone define BBW for me? Maybe I am one myself, I am a big girl after all.


Big Beautiful Women and while you fit the Beautiful part, your shy a few pounds on the big. Of course this is based soley on your pic, but if your ever in Detroit, drop me an email so i can meet the real thing. Then we can make a final determination.

Happy New Year

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: BBW/BBM - 12/31/2006 3:58:08 PM   
sophia37


Posts: 1433
Joined: 2/7/2006
Status: offline 		Listen, this thread applys to everyone not just BB's. Im 5 6 and 130 pounds. And its plenty hard to accept my flaws. Im a 47 year old woman born and raised in Americia, land of the confused and deluded. Of course I want to be flawless. The only good news is, Im in search of flawless with the body that I've got. Im not deluded enough to want someone elses body or in love with some ideal.

Believe me, I see all my flaws. As do each and every one of my female friends.  And things wont get any better. Now we're training up our young men to have skewed body image as well. The cosmetics/add industry is behind this all the way. So we'll ALL be self conscience before long. Yay! Hurray! Equality at last!   

(in reply to MissyRane)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: BBW/BBM - 12/31/2006 4:07:29 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Chakota
Often I have pondered what is the deeper reason, why a woman would insult my intellect intelligence and vision by telling me she is a BBW or even fuller figured or a size 20 or even 26. Its as if she assumes I am blind or so shallow and empty I cannot find the woman beneath the surface or identify the quality in content of her character. Actually it doesn't just trouble me, it pisses me off
I like your attitude.   I like that you're not so shallow as to measure a person's humanity based on their appearance/size/weight.

There is no deeper reason as to why we dwell on the superficial beyond being well superficial...   Let's face it, we all need to use words to describe ourselves absent a face to face meeting.   I've never in my life told a man that I'm big, brown skinned, or tall or beautiful if he's in front of me looking, so I understand what you mean, except this is written medium, and most people need some type of visual.
Your detesting the use of labels doesn't in my opinion make you brighter or more right than anyone else who prefers different though.    M


_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to Chakota)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: BBW/BBM - 1/1/2007 8:07:15 AM   
mastermargarita


Posts: 30
Joined: 12/11/2006
Status: offline 		good morning........i am a bhm.......i have been this way my entire life......in high school  i was the biggest football, basketball player in the state of oklahoma, weighing in at over 300 pounds, i was also the third fastest guy on the team.  now 40, i weigh less than i did then, but still large.  i have normal blood sugar, normal blood pressure, normal health, which leaves the doctors scratching their heads.   Am i happy with myself?  i am now and have been the past 10 years.before then was always trying to lose to conform to societal standards.  and was feeling like a loser because i couldn't do it...not that i ate alot or cheated on diets, i didn't. but i didn't lose.......its all genetics.......
for myself i love BW's for the most part they are happy with being themselves.  they don't obsess with every little thing they eat or do......they are themselves which in itself is very very refreshing. 
take care everyone and have a happy new year!!!!!!!

_____________________________

Fortune Favors the Foolish

More ramblings from my demented mind.

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: BBW/BBM - 1/1/2007 2:45:03 PM   
HatesParisHilton


Posts: 3513
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline 		 
My shape fluctuates.  I'm 5'10" and range between waistline 40" (my biggest) to a 32" (been smaller than that but 32 is the slimmest in the past 10 years so I roll with that one).  I mention inches not pounds because IMO that's what matters.  I drop 4-8 inches off the waist and don't lose that much weight.

Personally I'm as happy at the heavier than the slimmer for many reasons:  my face looks better to my eyes and frankly when I've been slimmest and "prettiest"/most "handsome" by common standards, I haven't really been treated any better by anyone.  Also, the women with the shape I prefer seem to be more comfy/less self conscious with me at a bigger size than a slimmer one.

A lot of times when people crash diet/lose too much too quickly, their face looks like crap and they lose booty appeal, anyway.

I mean, sophia37 stated she's "5 6 and 130 pounds".  LOL, that's about my MINIMUM to get turned on.  Biggest ero hottie I've been with/in love with was barely over 5' and weighed 145 (but again weight criteria doesn't do women a service; this woman I mention was all boobs, booty and thighs, slim waist; it's about the measurements meaning "curve factor"). 

I'm an assman from hell, for God's sake, and skinnies have no booo-tayyyy (no offense to slender gals), male friends say (oh you must love Kylie".  Uh, NO, I'm not bisexual and don't like butts that look like those of 18 year old lads.  but my username pretty much sums THAT up.

In the 1860's-1910's, the ideal female shape (from the advent of erotic photography and porn) was GREAT for me.  These days, what was healthy back then is now called "fat".

BULLSHIT.

HALF the men in the world want that shape, not all of us go by anglo "MTV" standards.  One of the biggest sex stars (crossing race boundaries) in the world right now is Cherokee (the african american one).  Networks and hollwood would call her "BBW", but gues what?  Back before youtube went anti-eros nazi, she'd have over THIRTY THOUSAND VIEWS on some of her clips featuring her biggest features, her ass and thighs.  A lot of hollywood crap got HALF of that.

GRRRRR.

If I see someone's profile pic and it's "Hepburn" or "Nicole Kidman" versus "Sophia Loren" or "Mae West" I move on.  Not out reverse shape-ism; there's no point in dwelling on someone for whom I could never get an erection.

So anyway, rant concluded, but I just wanted to be supportive in my own way.

(in reply to mastermargarita)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: BBW/BBM - 1/1/2007 3:04:40 PM   
twistedwillow


Posts: 546
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline 		I am a bbw, and it took me a long time to become accepting of who i am, in fact, im still working on it.
I come from a family where skinnier is better, so i've always been told that being big is bad,  strangers also feel its their right to tell me oh your pretty,  you would be gorgeous if you were slim.

I've been anorexic, and bullimic,  neither are pretty, and i still fight the urges every day,  especially to purge.

My current partner, and Sir, has done a lot for my self esteem, he made me see that i am beautiful and worthy of love.

So while yes i would like to lose weight, i wouldn't like to be 'skinny',  and i think acceptance has to comes from the inside first.

Also to those who say they don't  like the term big BEAUTIFUL woman,  beauty comes from believing in yourself, and seeing yourself as beautiful and confident.  Many, not all,  big women lack confidence in themselves, so i see bbw ( or bhm ) as a term of empowerment for them.  yes i am big, yes i am beautiful, most definitely  yes i am a woman.

twistedwillow

_____________________________

Jesus died to forgive our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them? —Jules Feiffer
Don't be fooled by the pretty words and sweet face.. sarcasm is the norm not the exception.



(in reply to MissyRane)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: BBW/BBM - 1/1/2007 8:32:22 PM   
mymasterssub69


Posts: 566
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		i'm a BBBBW (Big Breasted Beautiful Black Woman) 

_____________________________

there is something infinitely magical
about a Daddy Dom
...something only a little girl
can understand.

collared on 16th Jan 2007 by bigsambaman, my Daddy

(in reply to MissyRane)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: BBW/BBM - 1/1/2007 8:39:12 PM   
bbwsubnnorcal


Posts: 104
Joined: 4/24/2006
Status: offline 		In the Fashion Industry, a BBW/Plus-sized woman is an American size 14 and over. Lane Bryant, the Avenue, Catherine's and Torrid all start their products at a size 14 and go up from there.

I used to work at the Avenue and all i can say is that for all the bitching women have done over the decades, we are FINALLY getting some nice styles in.

stephanie

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 40
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