RE: Dom/me, Submissive Regrets

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RE: Dom/me, Submissive Regrets - 1/5/2007 12:02:46 AM

pixelslave

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

Have you ever obeyed or gave an order that you later regretted?

Yes, I have. I was very disappointed with myself when I chose to try and please a Domme who was new to me by doing things for her when I should have been taking care of things important to my unmentionables. It came back to bite in the ass in spades both in terms of my unmentionables and in terms of additional demands from the Domme which continued to conflict with the needs of my unmentionables.

That's when I found myself in a position where I had to make a choice. Needless to say, for that and other reasons, I still see my unmentionables, but not the Domme.

I learned a great deal from the experience. I'm definitely not proud of some of the choices I made on particular days. I know I was feeling rather needy and a bit lonely for the right kind of adult company at the time. I needed the attention of a woman I found to be intelligent, attractive and Dominant. I desired the Domme's approval, but my unmentionables also needed my attention to their welfare, my time and my love much more than I needed anything the Domme possibly could have offered me in exchange for her demands to intrude on the precious little time I was being allowed for visitation with my unmentionables.

I would not make the same choices again. But as there are no "do overs" in life, I can only take the experience and learn from it; storing the knowledge gained for future use.

- pixel

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RE: Dom/me, Submissive Regrets - 1/5/2007 12:09:15 AM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

Have you ever obeyed or gave an order that you later regretted?

Oh, yeah. Bigtime.
The bad part was, it was one that had I known the situation and his mindset, I never would have given. However, I didnt, and I incorrectly assumed that if he objected to something, he would have said so. Intead he followed orders like the good little slave boy he is, and then we have the emotional repercussions later. Funny how the littlest orders can have the biggest impacts.

DV

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RE: Dom/me, Submissive Regrets - 1/5/2007 12:09:25 AM

akbarbarian

Posts: 596
Joined: 12/19/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: impetuousone

quote:

ORIGINAL: mrocknj

I ordered her to bring home Thai food and later realized I really wanted sushi.....

And it was her fault, too, right, Sir? She should have known!

This is what's so beautiful for me about D/s. The act of obeying makes the actual results seem so much less important than the fact that they were the result of obedience. If my slave launched a nucular attack that resulted in obliterating me and everything I know, I'd still be inclined to smile because she obeyed me. Is that healthy? Not sure, but it sure feels right to me.

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RE: Dom/me, Submissive Regrets - 1/5/2007 5:24:00 AM

MizSuz

Posts: 1881
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I have regretted laying down too many rules that needed to be policed. I don't like to micromanage and rules have to be policed. Too many of them is just a pain in the ass.

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RE: Dom/me, Submissive Regrets - 1/5/2007 10:51:34 AM

daddysprop247

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Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
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i've never regretted being obedient, because that is what my Master demands of me always, even if it might get me into trouble. now he has confided to me that there have been times when he has given me an order and later regretted it because i was damaged in ways that he did not desire or intend, but that is bound to happen at some point or other.

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RE: Dom/me, Submissive Regrets - 1/5/2007 11:45:58 AM

AquaticSub

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I have done things I wasn't exactly comfortable with, but I have yet to regret anything. I think the only things that I would regret would be the sort of thing that I simply wouldn't do, no matter what. However, I also think that as dominants are only human they will make mistakes in their orders from time to time. Particularly when it comes to what kind of take-out they want us to get.

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RE: Dom/me, Submissive Regrets - 1/5/2007 1:43:27 PM

michaels4evr

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i never regret obeying although in a past relationship, i obeyed a few orders i did not agree with. but when in service, my prime directive is to obey so there is no need for regrets.

On Topside, no, I have never given an order I later regretted. However, I do regret not giving an order for that full body massage I needed this past weekend..but I digress...

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RE: Dom/me, Submissive Regrets - 1/5/2007 1:56:43 PM

demistress

Posts: 391
Joined: 4/24/2006
From: Dela-where?
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I live passionately, I mostly engage in RACK as opposed to SSC, and as such, there have been a few things I have ordered that I later regretted, not many, but some.

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RE: Dom/me, Submissive Regrets - 1/5/2007 2:39:43 PM

akisha

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Joined: 6/25/2005
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First off, I believe regret is mostly a wasted emotion. You can't change it so learn from it and move on. Over thinking it and regretting it isn't going to fix it.

The closest thing to regret I've had is when Sir asked me to do something and even though I tried I was unsuccessful in completing the task. What I'm doing is trying harder to get over my mind block and work on being able to complete the task the next time He orders it. We're working on taking it in small steps, but failing causes me distress. I'd love it if I could somehow just do it the next time with out the mental fight with myself. Now if I could figure that one out life would be great lol

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RE: Dom/me, Submissive Regrets - 1/5/2007 6:14:43 PM

justinasamerk

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One regret a girl has is that her new Master ordered her to mail and return all the collars her former Master ever gave her. She had some of them for 7 years and they became a sentimental value for her. She doesnt regret obeying her owner now, but there is part of her that misses those symbols.

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RE: Dom/me, Submissive Regrets - 1/5/2007 6:31:12 PM

akbarbarian

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quote:

ORIGINAL: justinasamerk

One regret a girl has is that her new Master ordered her to mail and return all the collars her former Master ever gave her. She had some of them for 7 years and they became a sentimental value for her. She doesnt regret obeying her owner now, but there is part of her that misses those symbols.

I can somewhat understand why he did that, but at the same time I imagine it caused you great pain. I only hope your new Master is someone you are with in person, because that's a big thing he just asked and I wouldn't want you to do that and then have it fall through. I believe if you ask big, you'd better be there for the person. Kind of like a debt owed.

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RE: Dom/me, Submissive Regrets - 1/5/2007 9:09:16 PM

MasterGremlin

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No from both of U/us

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RE: Dom/me, Submissive Regrets - 1/5/2007 9:18:55 PM

RobertCloud

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The biggest regret I have is odd... it is both that I trust too soon and that I don't trust soon enough..
There are some things that I begin to trust in a person too soon, but there are other things that for a very long time will very easily send red flags to flying when there may truly be no reason for them to fly.

It is not the fault of the person I am talking to, but the fault of about five people back to back that I knew a few years ago. Each a massive player, but they unfortunately all occurred one right after another and almost all the signs were identical. So now when I see those little things, even though they may be innocent, I begin to get jumpy and edgy and suddenly I begin to wonder if I am being played again. This is even before I have the chance to meet the person in real life.

So more often than not, it never gets to the meeting because I cannot get past that issue. However, I am currently in a situation that I am striving very hard to keep the red flags to myself and not mention them when they come up. Especially, if there is no real reason. There was one that came up with a good reason, and it turned out to be someone else's fault. It was easily explained and rectified, and so turned out that the trust was not broken and I am back to being able to fight those doubts. This time I am managing much better and have it well under control. Yet, I regret all the opportunities that I have lost over the years because of those five players that put that doubt in my mind that I cannot shake easily. I have forgiven them, but I cannot ever forget what happened and it continues to cause me problems and will I am afraid until I finally have someone truly in my arms full time.

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RE: Dom/me, Submissive Regrets - 1/5/2007 9:29:33 PM

junecleaver

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Regret is a strong word. I don't regret anything I've done necessarily, but in a perfect world I would probably chose different partners to do them for or with.

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