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julietsierra -> RE: On again Off again (12/24/2006 11:56:49 PM)
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While I have no real profile on this site beyond the basics (no narrative or information as to what I'm looking for in someone) due to the fact that by the time I found this place, I was already with someone and not looking (here for the forums only), I do have one somewhere else. I have, at times, made my profile private and then opened it back up for more public viewing. So I guess I'd be guilty of what you're describing.
With me, the decision to make my profile public or not rests entirely on whether my ex is on a rampage or not. When he has his moralistic fits, I remove my profile - and when he's calm, I don't mind it being out there. The last time I removed it was when we were going to court regarding guardianship of our adult daughter. Even though he's been largely uninvolved in her life for the last 19 years, he wanted guardianship - it's a money thing - and was willing to do what he could to prove I was somehow unfit for her. So...poof, I disappeared. It's only been recently that I've felt safe enough to "come out of hiding."
That's just my story. Off hand, I can think of some other reasons for disappearing as well:
** You've met someone and are giving that person your full attention until you see it's not working
** You're too busy at work these days to be checking e-mail and you need to focus on things that are not bdsm related
**You have health issues that you are taking care of - either with yourself or with family members
**You have family issues - taking care of a parent, child, etc that you need to focus on
** You are working more than one job and don't have time for all this, but feel it's rude to leave your profile up and not be answering whatever e-mails you're receiving
** You have been searching for a long time for someone and are getting discouraged, so you just can it all and get rid of your profile for a while - I mean, it's not like you owe anyone the presence of your profile if you're taking a break
**Life is just getting in the way
** You haven't had any luck in finding someone through this medium, so get frustrated and say 'fuck it all!" and just get rid of it.
** You have this crazy notion that just perhaps, since online isn't really working for you, that perhaps doing things in real life, face to face just might, and walk away for a while.
** Many others that at 10 to 3 in the morning, I'm not thinking of that are personal to those people who are removing their profiles and later putting them back up that have nothing to do with indecisiveness.
While admittedly there will be some who are indecisive, I'd think others are just busy - not indecisive. I think that a blanket assumption that we're all indecisive would be incorrect. Most of the time, our real lives are just more important than what someone online in _________ (You pick the state or country) thinks of us.
In the end, whether we find the people we end up with via online conversations or real life encounters, the right person for each of us will be better able to guage our level of decisiveness - and it won't matter in the least when someone wants to consider us indecisive, or "not submissive enough" or "not dominant enough" or "not man enough" or "not woman enough" or "not old enough" or "not young enough" or "not fair, dark, heavy, light, tall, short, et all enough"
To quote that famous little girl with the golden locks, "we'll be 'just right'..."
juliet
Edited to add: I really don't think anyone around here gets the luxury of being able to read a profile with the assurances that "he/she's real." You read. You find your interest. You take your chances. You make your contact. Kinda like life. No one said there'd be a roadmap. I rather like it like that.
And to quote another famous character, " Life is like a box of chocolates...." Taste it and make up your own mind. What works for me might not work for you and vice versa.
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