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MaamJay -> RE: Living Together or Not? (12/23/2006 3:31:45 AM)
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maia, you have my sympathy for the tough personal time - i too lost a friend to suicide and had my eldest, blind dog put down within 2 months earlier this year, and those experiences are hard to get through with clarity. But get through you do, eventually, as you realise. And i commend you for the way you have learned from the replies to this thread, and i am sure this will help as you find your way into your slavery to your "owner". i say "your slavery" as i think it really is unique to you and yours, as mine is unique to myself and mine, and to Tammyjo and fox etc etc etc! However, you seem to have what is the core now, that it is more about commitment than about feelings. While i do now live 24/7 with Master, there are still times when i do not "feel" particularly subby, especially when you take into account that the other half of Me is Domme LOL! Master sometimes gently reminds me that "your capitals are showing pet" or "and just who was that speaking to Me??" But my commitment is to be His slave and that's what keeps me going through those nonsubbyfeeling times ... and seeing the pleasure He gets from my service brings on that warm subby glow. When W/we are apart, for example, when i am in another state at a conference, He understands that i cannot be besotted 24/7 with Him ... i am there for a purpose and it is His wish that i devote myself to that. But as soon as i talk to Him on the phone at the end of the day ... i am sooo wanting to be with Him again. So i would say to you this, relish the feelings when they are they, honour the commitment when they are not. And while each M/s tends to arrive at their own practical arrangements eg for how autonomous the slave can be or the level of micromanagement the owner wants to maintain ... a good guiding principle has been suggested by another here ... when your One is not around, ask yourself "what would my Dominant want me to do?" Then do it!
All the best
violet[A] aka Maam Jay
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