How Much It Sucks

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MaryT -> How Much It Sucks (12/19/2006 8:54:28 PM)
I finally gathered together the cojones today to call our local BDSM group. I had called twice before but got an answering machine with a guy's name, so I never left a message. Today I got the guy, who had had the number for only two months now and was shocked that it was associated with BDSM. I called from my home phone - a listed number - lol NOT! This truly sucks. I work with high profile people, not just here but state-wide assholes. In personals and everything, I feel like I'm swimming upstream, inviting both idiots and psychopaths into my life - in a highly conservative community, and taking many more risks than an intelligent person would take. Fuck it. Maybe I was smarter in a 'nila marriage, pretending to be a 'nila person. I feel weary and like I've wasted a lot of time (and taken unnecesary risk) on fantasy. I'm very tired, and no doubt feeling sorry for myself just now. This truly sucks though. MaryT

Tikkiee -> RE: How Much It Sucks (12/19/2006 8:57:37 PM)
I truly am confused [&:]

mnottertail -> RE: How Much It Sucks (12/19/2006 8:59:39 PM)
Well your profile is not found, nobody makes a million without taking a risk, but look at www.drkdesyre.com... waltz around there, find organizations link, look something up in your area. Go to one of the meetings, no phone required all that. Kinda like the great-great-great-gramas picnic.......nothing you gotta worry about. try from there. Don't know how to help you kid, you gotta open a little,,,,,,,,,,,,,write me. Ron

MagiksSlave -> RE: How Much It Sucks (12/19/2006 9:03:32 PM)
OH my gawd I think Im gunna have a heart attack Ron was just nice!!! Magik's slave

crouchingtigress -> RE: How Much It Sucks (12/19/2006 9:13:37 PM)
hey MaryT wow i feel for you, i forget till i read a post like yours, how intense entering this life must be for new folks. you have just made some pretty big steps in the direction of your dreams...and that is where you want to be....right? the ache? the need? the calling to this life? it is undeniable pull, like a current pulling you far from shore in the unknown...i can only imagine the trepidation .... lets try this again but this time minimize the exposure... can you email females in your area? maybe they would be willing to be a buddy for you to be introduced to your local community. i like this approach because it is safer, and you will get to meet some likely great folks. you are new to the boards, yet you have already shown yourself to be intelligent, funny and caring...you wont have trouble making friends in real life at all. "one can not discover new lands, unless he concents to leave sight of the shore" Andre Glide

MistressSassy66 -> RE: How Much It Sucks (12/19/2006 9:18:48 PM)
Dont you hate when they change a number and who you think is calling isnt there. Definitely can be an embarrassment [8D]

MzMia -> RE: How Much It Sucks (12/19/2006 9:24:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MaryT I finally gathered together the cojones today to call our local BDSM group. I had called twice before but got an answering machine with a guy's name, so I never left a message. Today I got the guy, who had had the number for only two months now and was shocked that it was associated with BDSM. I called from my home phone - a listed number - lol NOT! This truly sucks. I work with high profile people, not just here but state-wide assholes. In personals and everything, I feel like I'm swimming upstream, inviting both idiots and psychopaths into my life - in a highly conservative community, and taking many more risks than an intelligent person would take. Fuck it. Maybe I was smarter in a 'nila marriage, pretending to be a 'nila person. I feel weary and like I've wasted a lot of time (and taken unnecesary risk) on fantasy. I'm very tired, and no doubt feeling sorry for myself just now. This truly sucks though. MaryT Oh that sucks Mary, but hang in there. If this is the way you want to live your life, you can make it happen. It seems to take time for many of us. I am sure there are other more credible organizations you can join. What state do you live in?

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: How Much It Sucks (12/19/2006 11:16:14 PM)
Mary, you don't sound like you're having enough mixed fun along this BDSM road. You may need to take a few days/weeks to regroup, and you may consider dating open minded/versatile vanilla to see what happens. I don't suggest vanilla pretending as that becomes increasingly difficult with time, and you will no doubt want to smack your boring vanilla partner at some point to make him/her lighten up. I think you should hang around here, as you will in time find that learning here is fun, while you make friends. quote: MagiksSlave OH my gawd I think Im gunna have a heart attack Ron was just nice!!! You haven't been paying attention well... Ron is nearly always nice (you know, in the same way your brother punches you to show affection), unless the situation calls for a smack upside the head. [:-] M

Rover -> RE: How Much It Sucks (12/20/2006 7:04:10 AM)
I'm confused... your local BDSM group has (or had) a publicly advertised telephone number? Would you mind telling us which group that is, and where the publicly advertised phone number was obtained? Since it was public, there's no concern for privacy. How about sending a nice email to introduce yourself (in vague terms) to the munch organizers from your anonymous email address asking for a bit of information, and to meet someone over a cup of coffee to chat casually. John

MaryT -> RE: How Much It Sucks (12/20/2006 7:50:42 AM)
Thanks everyone for your kind responses to my rant. I always look forward to your posts CrouchingTigress. :) Unfortunately, I got the number from coloradobdsm.org. I did write the webmaster and asked them to update their records. I did attempt to contact the local group through email first but got no response, which should have been a clue. I live in a smallish community. The nearest big city (with a thriving bdsm community) is a four-hour drive away, and that probably is my best bet. Lack of response to my profile is not a problem, which is why it spends a lot of time deactivated. This is just a frustrating way to find people to meet because it lends itself to dishonesty. I was hoping that a local group might make it easier to find safe people. But I think someone pointed out earlier in the week that it's reasonable to expect that this should be a lot of work, so perhaps that same person shouldn't pitch fits when it is a lot of work. [:D] I'll send you a message, Ron. MaryT

thetammyjo -> RE: How Much It Sucks (12/20/2006 8:38:46 AM)
This has happened to me on the other side. When I was in the leadership of the local university group I did list our home phone number but when I left I'm sure I made it clear that they'd need a new phone number. The group never changed the phone number on any site or any listing or even at the university itself. so over the past three years whenever I've gotten a call I've had to then myself go and say "remove the number for this group" and "No, I don't know what it is now". Groups change all the time and can be very difficult to find them using telephone numbers or even emails at times. My best advice is to join a list of events in your area and watch for groups to announce things. When they announce something then go because you know that it will be happening because they just announced it. If you wait a few months things may have changed. In Indiana we have the yahoogroup IndianaBDSM list and it is wonderful.

theRose4U -> RE: How Much It Sucks (12/20/2006 8:27:03 PM)
Sounds like the group in the Springs. At the risk of a giggle they've had some control issues. If you contact the Enclave in Denver they can get you put together with others in your area.

ZenDragoness -> RE: How Much It Sucks (12/20/2006 11:07:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: theRose4U Sounds like the group in the Springs. At the risk of a giggle they've had some control issues. If you contact the Enclave in Denver they can get you put together with others in your area. bolded by me If a group is in the springs, mustn't it be reached difficult? Seriously MaryT, take the advice and help offered, there are lot of helpful people in the community, but not every group is cough organized, some are too cliquish. I understand your frustration.

MaryT -> RE: How Much It Sucks (12/21/2006 5:40:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ZenDragoness If a group is in the springs, mustn't it be reached difficult? Not if you have a flotation device. [:D] I knew what she meant. Thanks for the support. Thanks, Rose, for the tip. I'll call them. MaryT

eyesopened -> RE: How Much It Sucks (12/21/2006 6:01:17 AM)
The journey isn't easy. The first time i tried to get involved with a local group i contacted the president of the group and asked which venues and meetings would be appropriate for a newbie and his response was, and i quote "We're not here to hold your hand, if you want to be involved you will have to figure it out on your own." Still, i tried by going first to a sub's SIG (special interest group) where i was told the munch group was for public play and if i wouldn't play in public i couldn't be trusted and to get out and find a different group. After that, i gave up, for a long time, i wanted nothing to do with the so-called "community" and i took the guy's advice and did things completely on my own. Years later i found a not-so-local group who was dedicated to education and did NOT host play parties etc. As far as play and relationships go, i'm still on my own but at least i have an educational resource that i didn't have before. It takes a while, i'm not convinced i will ever find exactly what i seek but i at least hope to find some joy along the way. Best of luck to you.

theRose4U -> RE: How Much It Sucks (12/21/2006 10:09:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MaryT quote: ORIGINAL: ZenDragoness If a group is in the springs, mustn't it be reached difficult? Not if you have a flotation device. [:D] I knew what she meant. Thanks for the support. Thanks, Rose, for the tip. I'll call them. MaryT For those with a map and/ or media coverage that would be Colorado Springs...the part of the state currently NOT covered by 4 FEET of snow. Attention skiers you can't get here and we're loving the freshies. [sm=trident.gif] As long as we're talking about what sucks, are there any colorado masochists with a snow shovel willing to deliver?

MaryT -> RE: How Much It Sucks (12/21/2006 10:38:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: theRose4U For those with a map and/ or media coverage that would be Colorado Springs...the part of the state currently NOT covered by 4 FEET of snow. Attention skiers you can't get here and we're loving the freshies. [sm=trident.gif] As long as we're talking about what sucks, are there any colorado masochists with a snow shovel willing to deliver? Actually, I thought you referring to Glenwood ...[:)] It's sunny on the west side, but I've been reading about your blizzard. Good luck diggin' out!

xonemasterx -> RE: How Much It Sucks (12/21/2006 11:26:09 AM)
Don't stop putting yourself out there. Going back in the nilla box is a terrible fate. Glad you found support here!

theRose4U -> RE: How Much It Sucks (12/21/2006 11:56:34 AM)
Already shoveled to the road in front but still have 2ft of snow against the garage then have to shovel 3 house lengths to get to the road rut. Working on getting a ride from the main road that's plowed and just skiing out. Dogs are having a field day, even the little guys are ok because of the large covered deck. Glenwood springs you might do a search on here. There are a couple female subs and a male dom that I've spoken with a couple times that seemed nice. If I recall correctly the dom was more high protocol and did seminars..

Sirandlittle1 -> RE: How Much It Sucks (12/21/2006 12:57:03 PM)
How much it sucks? <.......................................................................................................................................................> that much! Same trouble here. Went to two munches, they never met again. Went to the most popular club, too many people on smack! and the equipment was dirty, and rather too many obese sweating odd guys, just watching the play who for some reason, were not expected to follow the dress code. Vanilla perves? Plus, no safe sex kits, no clean up materials, and dirty play areas. No thanks. One invite to a party that i had to decline due to lack of babysitter, which was obviously taken as a NO thankyou. Ive given up for the time being. But although Brisbane might suck, the nearby Gold Coast has more to offer, in the new year, we will head that way. dont give up, just change direction in your searching. littleone

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