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RE: Lacking willpower - 12/18/2006 10:12:45 AM

Yourangelic1

Posts: 42
Joined: 12/7/2006
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Its true that finding activities and not focusing on the loss of the relationship, or the things that remind you of it is great advice. When i was going through the sadness of my relationship ending, i found that my day would go good or bad depending on my willingness to keep telling myself that moving on was healthier, or i could keep feeling sad and going over every mistake i made or every issue the relationship had, trying to rehash and "fix" that which could not be fixed. i truly found that my day went so much better when i was able to be happy and look forward to the future.. to find something to interest myself in.. It really takes concious effort and i know how difficult it can be.. i hope this helps some.. angelic

(in reply to KatyLied)

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RE: Lacking willpower - 12/18/2006 10:14:01 AM

drawntothedark

Posts: 572
Joined: 10/19/2006
From: Arkansas
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

It kind of does feel like he enjoys dangling me. It is unlikely I know, but there is precedence for this feeling.
Kyst

Yeah, I was in something simular. I think that some people do get off on the whole "I'm here but making it crystal clear that I'm not here for you" thing.

Usually, in my world, I can break this cycle by finding something "prettier" to focus my attention on. I also focus on the reasons why we feel apart and also on how being ignored feels. You give that person the power when you care that they do not talk to you. It's very easy to get into that rut. Eventually you will find what works for you to get out of it.

But I totally understand where you are coming from.

(in reply to Missokyst)

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RE: Lacking willpower - 12/18/2006 10:26:24 AM

Voltare

Posts: 841
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Santiago, Chile
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Wow, my bad. I saw the bit about the name on messenger, and made the wrong assumption.

Sounds like you need to avoid contact with him as much as possible, while still doing your job. I'm sure he'll understand why, by now. The rest applies - throwing yourself into something that consumes all of your free time and energy will mean two months later, you'll barely remember what you did with him, and leave you in a better to move on.

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"There is always some madness in love, but there is always some reason in madness." - F. Nietzsche

(in reply to drawntothedark)

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RE: Lacking willpower - 12/18/2006 10:37:53 AM

Yourangelic1

Posts: 42
Joined: 12/7/2006
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Very well said, i have to agree.. Its even more damaging to have the person living in the same house with you ignoring you like you dont exist, and watching and enjoying when you are in pain from it.

Thank you for posting this topic.. stay strong.. angelic

(in reply to drawntothedark)

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RE: Lacking willpower - 12/18/2006 11:46:02 AM

Missokyst

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Joined: 9/9/2006
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LOL..boy I wish there was someone else to focus on! Most of what is in my area consists of male subs. I wonder if there is something in northern california water?
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: drawntothedark

Yeah, I was in something simular. I think that some people do get off on the whole "I'm here but making it crystal clear that I'm not here for you" thing.

Usually, in my world, I can break this cycle by finding something "prettier" to focus my attention on. I also focus on the reasons why we feel apart and also on how being ignored feels. You give that person the power when you care that they do not talk to you. It's very easy to get into that rut. Eventually you will find what works for you to get out of it.

But I totally understand where you are coming from.

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to drawntothedark)

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RE: Lacking willpower - 12/18/2006 7:29:54 PM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

I wish this had just been online! This is a man I work with

Then hopefully you've learned another valuable lesson... don't date people you work with

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MstrssPassion

(in reply to Missokyst)

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RE: Lacking willpower - 12/18/2006 8:13:22 PM

Missokyst

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I NEED to get that song!
Kyst

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to mnottertail)

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Post #: 27