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RE: Submission w/right n wrong - 12/18/2006 10:01:35 AM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Devilslilsister

quote:

My dominant enjoys it as we come from very different backgrounds and often I provide an entirely view on things that he hasn't considered before

I think that is why i debate with my Dominant. We come from grossly different back grounds. If he spoke to me about calculus, i would not debate. If he speaks of what i should wear to a formal event - i debate. (if i think he's wrong) The debates are aside from orders. Things we just naturally talk about. Usually centered around personal thoughts on things and often times when he "suggests" something

It sounds like, from this, that you aren't debating him on orders but on other issues. If you are debating him on intellectual issues (my dominant and I are often tossing around the ideas of morality vs. ethics and etc.) then I can't see that as being unsubmissive but if your dominant doesn't like it then talk to him about it.

Honestly my best advice is stop worrying about being "unsubbly". You aren't everyone's sub, you are his sub. If another dominant grabs my butt and I hit them, my dominant thanks me for saving him the trouble. Other dominants would punish me. Talk to your dominant and find out what he wants from you.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

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Post #: 41

RE: Submission w/right n wrong - 12/18/2006 12:08:40 PM

Devilslilsister

Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
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quote:

It sounds like, from this, that you aren't debating him on orders but on other issues. If you are debating him on intellectual issues (my dominant and I are often tossing around the ideas of morality vs. ethics and etc.) then I can't see that as being unsubmissive but if your dominant doesn't like it then talk to him about it.

Honestly my best advice is stop worrying about being "unsubbly". You aren't everyone's sub, you are his sub. If another dominant grabs my butt and I hit them, my dominant thanks me for saving him the trouble. Other dominants would punish me. Talk to your dominant and find out what he wants from you.

Oh, i'm not worried about everyone else. It just seemed inappropriate to me. Sometimes i debate on things he would like me to do (but not orders - major difference). Course its his final say on w/e. But i was curious as to if it was inappropriate and how to change the behavior if it is.

Funny, i did get introuble once for kicking a man in his gonads. Much the same reason. I was instructed i should of notified the police instead of take matters into my own hands. <smilez> So i debated that police suck and will arrest everyone if given the chance and they're untrustable and i'd rather walk through fire then call a cop. So i was chastised for the way i think about police! Of COURSE its a double standard! (debate double standard - which i always lose) As i am not allowed to take matters into my own hands, but my Dom can.

yeah - when i get to it, i'll ask him what he thinks. Either that or i'll decide that its not broke so i should stop trying to fix it.

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Post #: 42

RE: Submission w/right n wrong - 12/18/2006 12:27:53 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Devilslilsister

yeah - when i get to it, i'll ask him what he thinks. Either that or i'll decide that its not broke so i should stop trying to fix it.

Both excellent ideas! *Grins*

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

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Post #: 43

RE: Submission w/right n wrong - 12/18/2006 12:40:54 PM

Devilslilsister

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Oh snap - Mavis, you hit it on the head. Em.. time for a laugh eh? Wow.

quote:

"well, if they can't get thier facts straight, i AM superior to a lot of them."

hehehe hehehe.. umm... i agree! Its abit how i look at things.

quote:

"He chose her name" because your pride won't let you accept responsibility for such a silly name.

LOLOLOL - i've already done that. If it a girl, he wants to name her PANDORA or Chastity!! I atleast got to choose between the two. Chastity i totally can not handle. Pandora - i am trying.... but stilllllllllllll. She's like the most evil woman on the planet!! Oh my, i do feel amazingly silly. He absolutetly loves the name and is trying to help me cope better with it. Pulled up a bunch of facts on why its a "good" name. Its growing on me. Though i am still whole heartedly hoping for a boy!

quote:

His will, rather than wanting to meet some societal standard for right-ness

but i'm not looking at it for social standard. Its more my own internal thing. Though it could be a bit of a "social standard"

Geee....... pride, eh? LOL So i am right (giggles) it IS unappropriate. Ah HA! Thank you very much Mavis for posting that!!!!!! I am better armed now to speak to him about it and i have a better idea on where it comes from. I actually see where it plays in our relationship. Because when i have better info here... and then there.. and then over here... well it sort of changes my outlook on things. <smiles> i can see how it changes my outlook on alot of people and relationships. Fascinating. Thank you again.

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i may look like i'm doing nothing, but i'm very busy at a cellular level

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Post #: 44

RE: Submission w/right n wrong - 12/18/2006 12:42:15 PM

Devilslilsister

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Awesome thread - i have learned much and i thank everyone for contributing to it.

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i may look like i'm doing nothing, but i'm very busy at a cellular level

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Post #: 45

RE: Submission w/right n wrong - 12/18/2006 7:27:17 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

I'm sorry, I was under the mistaken impression people post here for other's opinions. It's clearly a sounding board for one's thoughts and no one else should ever comment.

If you can't hear the scarasm, clean your ears.

Some opinions have value... some are worthless! Knowing which ones to consider will make the difference between making a bad situation better and a good situation great or one can just continue downward until it hits bottom.

Said without sarcasm.

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Post #: 46

RE: Submission w/right n wrong - 12/18/2006 7:39:35 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

I'm sorry, I was under the mistaken impression people post here for other's opinions. It's clearly a sounding board for one's thoughts and no one else should ever comment.

If you can't hear the scarasm, clean your ears.

Some opinions have value... some are worthless! Knowing which ones to consider will make the difference between making a bad situation better and a good situation great or one can just continue downward until it hits bottom.

Said without sarcasm.

Brillant considering I mentioned more then once that what mattered was what worked for her and her dominant.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

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Post #: 47

RE: Submission w/right n wrong - 12/18/2006 7:58:35 PM

KnightofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Brillant considering I mentioned more then once that what mattered was what worked for her and her dominant.

so you are in agreement then.. that what your opinion or anyone else says on the issue is of no importance and that what is important for their relationship is what is between them.

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Knight of Mists

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Post #: 48

RE: Submission w/right n wrong - 12/18/2006 8:25:01 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Brillant considering I mentioned more then once that what mattered was what worked for her and her dominant.

so you are in agreement then.. that what your opinion or anyone else says on the issue is of no importance and that what is important for their relationship is what is between them.

The point is that some people don't seem realize it because something can seem "unsubbly". So the opinion does need to be stated. Over and over. If you really don't think what anyone else says of any importance, then why did you bother to post? You should have put your time elsewhere.

I think it matters because it's nice to be reminded that the things that one dominant hates (and may post vehmently about on the threads) is what gives another dominant joy. A submissive can get lost in what the community seems to think she should be doing and it's nice to be reminded that "Hey, it doesn't matter. It just matters that he is happy with you and you are happy with him." Perferably in a nice manner that isn't vaguely insulting to everyone who has been trying to help when opinions were solicated.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

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Post #: 49

RE: Submission w/right n wrong - 12/19/2006 5:38:38 AM

Littlepita

Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Humility and grace. Allow both of them to become your beacon.

That's my mantra!

I am in the same boat as so many here and fall into debating quite often. Fortunately he does value my opinion and expects that I give it most of the time. The problem of course comes when I am expected to behave or do something I don't agree with it. But, that is the art of learning to submit to the will of the Dom and to let go of ego and self.

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

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RE: Submission w/right n wrong - 12/20/2006 4:24:50 AM

LeatherBentOne

Posts: 469
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quote:

ORIGINAL: toservez

There is nothing wrong with having debates on subjects with your Master and hopefully your Master enjoys them. From reading the OP though it sounds much more then simply debating views on things but sounds like you have a major case of confusing facts, opinions and the difference between what is right and what is just someone’s preference.

Serving another is often many times having to put your own preferences or the way you want to do something aside and doing what you are ordered or doing what you know your Master prefers. Most things of this nature are not right or wrong scenarios but just things. Try not to confuse the difference.

My advice is whenever you feel you have been ask to do something “wrong” take a step back in your mind and think what is the harm in doing the “wrong” thing to your Master, yourself and outside parties. Chances are there will be no such harm and hopefully that will help.

Thanx for the feedback. I've read many of your posts and always thought your comments and views were intelligent, well thought out and articulate. But, I'm a bit confused here. Could you please expound on your response to my post? I was speaking from my point of view and preferences, only. What is it you think I'm confused about in regards to facts, opinions and differences? I look forward to your post.

LBO

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RE: Submission w/right n wrong - 12/20/2006 5:41:40 AM

fldrkhorse

Posts: 158
Joined: 11/5/2005
From: North Carolina
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Humility and grace. Allow both of them to become your beacon.

Wow. Excellent.

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I'm not where I need to be, but I'm better than I was yesterday.

Namaste, I honor the divine in you

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RE: Submission w/right n wrong - 12/20/2006 7:55:30 AM

toservez

Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LeatherBentOne

quote:

ORIGINAL: toservez

There is nothing wrong with having debates on subjects with your Master and hopefully your Master enjoys them. From reading the OP though it sounds much more then simply debating views on things but sounds like you have a major case of confusing facts, opinions and the difference between what is right and what is just someone’s preference.

Serving another is often many times having to put your own preferences or the way you want to do something aside and doing what you are ordered or doing what you know your Master prefers. Most things of this nature are not right or wrong scenarios but just things. Try not to confuse the difference.

My advice is whenever you feel you have been ask to do something “wrong” take a step back in your mind and think what is the harm in doing the “wrong” thing to your Master, yourself and outside parties. Chances are there will be no such harm and hopefully that will help.

Thanx for the feedback. I've read many of your posts and always thought your comments and views were intelligent, well thought out and articulate. But, I'm a bit confused here. Could you please expound on your response to my post? I was speaking from my point of view and preferences, only. What is it you think I'm confused about in regards to facts, opinions and differences? I look forward to your post.

LBO

I dissagree with nothing in what you wrote. My comments were in reference to the OP. Sorry about the confusion.

_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

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