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RE: Not sure what to think... - 12/11/2006 6:56:28 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		Women are much faster to say on their profile that they're off the market because they get so much unsolicited email from HNGs. Saying you're taken slows the flood.

Men frequently don't bother to change their profile because it doesn't help in any way so why bother to go to the effort? They get around to it when their partner asks why she's still not mentioned. Changing it then buys them a happier sub which is worth the work.

However if you're unsure about his status, email and ask for clarification.

(in reply to xoxi)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Not sure what to think... - 12/11/2006 10:59:49 AM   
KCKitty


Posts: 7
Joined: 12/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

Women are much faster to say on their profile that they're off the market because they get so much unsolicited email from HNGs. Saying you're taken slows the flood.


::laughs and looks at empty mailbox::  They do?  What flood?

(in reply to Celeste43)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Not sure what to think... - 12/11/2006 11:28:02 AM   
gretchenS


Posts: 237
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KCKitty



::laughs and looks at empty mailbox::  They do?  What flood?



Trust me... they will, non stop, all the sizes, and all the shapes...

(in reply to KCKitty)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Not sure what to think... - 12/11/2006 11:58:53 AM   
Voltare


Posts: 841
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline 		FirmKY,

I guess I've read one too many cyber rants against what other people put in their profile.  I look at a profile the way I see someone's house.  Reading it is like visiting someone - you don't like how they don't polish the brass, then leave, but it's not fair to berate them in the town square for it afterwards.

Anyway, my guess is right about now KCkitty has a mailbox about ready to burst!


_____________________________

http://www.vv3b.com/

"There is always some madness in love, but there is always some reason in madness." - F. Nietzsche

(in reply to gretchenS)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Not sure what to think... - 12/11/2006 1:19:55 PM   
cjklyn


Posts: 35
Joined: 11/9/2004
Status: offline 		From another angle, as a dom seeking a sub, when contacting a sub for the first time, or when contacted for the first time, I always ask if their profile is up to date, and if they are still searching for a dom. I think with sites like this that you can never assume that a profile is up to date, so unless you know different, you have to act as if the profile is up to date, but validate that in your early conversations.
It's always good practise to keep your profile as up to date as possible, but life sometimes gets in the way of that, aparticularly if your a member of a number of sites/forums
to get back to the OP, read a profile, assume its correct and contact if you wish, but validate the profile when you make contact. works for me.

(in reply to xoxi)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Not sure what to think... - 12/11/2006 5:05:36 PM   
KCKitty


Posts: 7
Joined: 12/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Voltare

Anyway, my guess is right about now KCkitty has a mailbox about ready to burst!



If a single email of three words is bursting, then yeah. 

(in reply to Voltare)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Not sure what to think... - 12/11/2006 5:07:00 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

If a single email of three words is bursting, then yeah. 


Does this mean you are the proud owner of a message such as this:

kneel now slut!


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to KCKitty)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Not sure what to think... - 12/11/2006 5:09:21 PM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KCKitty

quote:

ORIGINAL: Voltare

Anyway, my guess is right about now KCkitty has a mailbox about ready to burst!



If a single email of three words is bursting, then yeah. 



Check your mail controls to see if filters are set and check your bulk mail.

(in reply to KCKitty)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Not sure what to think... - 12/11/2006 6:04:36 PM   
KCKitty


Posts: 7
Joined: 12/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

If a single email of three words is bursting, then yeah. 


Does this mean you are the proud owner of a message such as this:

kneel now slut!



::laughs::  Something like that.

But, oh my gawd, make it stop!  I should've never said anything.  Now my email won't stop pinging!

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Not sure what to think... - 12/11/2006 6:10:01 PM   
gretchenS


Posts: 237
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KCKitty


::laughs::  Something like that.

But, oh my gawd, make it stop!  I should've never said anything.  Now my email won't stop pinging!



Told ya...

(in reply to KCKitty)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Not sure what to think... - 12/12/2006 5:00:02 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		I'm not sure if here, anytime you change your profile, you get kicked into the new profile status which gets a lot of attention from men looking for fresh meat. It works that way at b.com which meant that I would look at mine, fix a typo, and get a flood for a few days.

(in reply to gretchenS)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Not sure what to think... - 12/12/2006 6:25:53 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		Like Gretchen's dom,  my Daddy also did not change his profile because he had joined a few years ago and did not think about it until some recent experiences with submissives emailing him and asking about me. Realizing his oversight he changed his profile. I will say that often when people announce who it is that they are seeing on their profile others will try to harass them because of this... my name is not mentioned on his profile, and I requested that I not be named in it when he changed it so I would not get any ugly messages in my email.

His name is on my profile because I have zero desire to get emails from dominants searching for submissives. The present configuration of my profile has shown to be the most effective to keep unwanted attention away. I did not used to name him either.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to KCKitty)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Not sure what to think... - 12/12/2006 6:28:44 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

A lot of people don't like to go overly public with their relationships, especially on the forums, because it can create a lot of drama.




Amen, if I had it to do over again I wouldn't have

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Not sure what to think... - 12/12/2006 8:17:41 AM   
RedSavageSlave


Posts: 733
Joined: 9/12/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KCKitty

quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

Women are much faster to say on their profile that they're off the market because they get so much unsolicited email from HNGs. Saying you're taken slows the flood.


::laughs and looks at empty mailbox::  They do?  What flood?



LOL... check your email :)

_____________________________

My give a damn's busted.

So many thoughts, so few of them rational

(in reply to KCKitty)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Not sure what to think... - 12/12/2006 11:28:49 AM   
losttreasure


Posts: 875
Joined: 12/17/2005
Status: offline 		I agree that having FirmHandKY's name on my profile has all but eliminated the unwanted messages, but I'm truly puzzled about the comments of harassment. 

I've received nothing but congratulations and polite well wishes from anyone who has contacted me since.  I'm sure some of the doms are just testing to see if I'm truly unavailable, and a couple have come right out and said that if things don't work out, to contact them.  But they've all been very well mannered otherwise. 

I've not had a single submissive contact me with regard to FirmHandKY, let alone be rude about it.  *laughs*  And if any dom did try to harass me after seeing my name on FirmHandKy's profile, I'd certainly ask him what he was doing purusing other men's profiles anyway.

I'm also completely baffled by the idea that people knowing FirmHandKY and I are together will somehow create drama.  Our joint presence here has been the source of much enjoyment and many hours of stimulating conversation.  We certainly don't create drama over it... why would anyone else?

Edited to add:  I didn't think he had, but FirmHandKY confirms that he's never had any negative messages regarding us, either.

< Message edited by losttreasure -- 12/12/2006 12:01:34 PM >

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Not sure what to think... - 12/12/2006 1:27:20 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		Drama always has a well to spring from when people know too much about other people, and I am seeing the wisdom more and more of keeping my personal stuff personal. Go to the off topic section and there is a thread that was down there about a dominant that put his sub's name in his profile, and the harassing emails that she received... who needs that shit? I know of a couple of submissives that have had long term relationships and their doms post here too, they do not announce it on the forum or give the screen names of their sig others... I deeply respect this... they aren't here for approval, and like I said, I can see more than one reason to keep it so. Their opinions can be expressed more freely perhaps, they do not have others judging their relationships that do not know jack shit about them, but seem to believe they do from a few posts they might write... it just seems smart to me. Like I said, I can see why people keep their personal stuff off this board.

For example, my stuff with my Daddy is in real life, why would I care about what strangers on the internet think about it all?

I do not think that anyone inferred anything about you because they have a different privacy preference. My post was not in response to you or to your dominant, it was to the thread in general.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to losttreasure)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Not sure what to think... - 12/12/2006 5:14:39 PM   
losttreasure


Posts: 875
Joined: 12/17/2005
Status: offline 		Julia... I do appreciate that your comment was made to the thread in general... I did not perceive any inference by anyone about me specifically and my comment wasn't to challenge you.  I simply stated that I do not understand and why, and asked for clarification.  From my own experiences, I've not had any incidents and I could not understand where what "strangers on the internet" thought or said could cause any real problems.  After all, we aren't talking about sharing real names, addresses or phone numbers... or any other personal information that might lead to a genuine threat.

I did find the thread you were talking about, and yes, I do see where one person had a single lunatic trying to stir up trouble.  Perhaps that is a good reason to avoid publicizing who you are involved with, and yes... I agree, who needs to invite headache.  Then again, if any real grief were caused (which doesn't appear to be so in this case), it wouldn't say much about the stability of their relationship. 

I do agree that keeping personal stuff personal is generally a wise choice.  I've no need or desire to go sharing the details of what FirmHandKY and I get up to, or even the general dynamics of our relationship.  However, if we all decided today that we'd no longer provide any personal information, to include opinions and beliefs, there'd not be not be a whole lot to read in the forum here.

Of course I respect the choice of those who wish to keep their relationships to themselves; it's their business and not mine.  However, and I don't know if others view it the same way, but I do consider what I know of someone's background when I read their comments.  If someone has a history of getting collared by a new dom every other week, I'm not likely to take any advice they have on nurturing a long-term relationship very seriously.  Naturally, I do take into consideration that what I do know is next to nothing, and not necessarily the whole truth (if truthful, at all); but that is the nature of conversation in a forum such as this.

In the same respect, it really doesn't matter how others judge me or my relationship.  I wouldn't go so far as to completely dismiss the opinions of the other posters here... there are real people on the other side of those words, after all... but I take each comment in the spirit it appears to be given and offer my own in kind.  In the end, it's up to me how I take, process and apply anything written here, if at all.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 37
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