RE: Disappearing Acts

RE: Disappearing Acts (Full Version)

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asubmissiveheart -> RE: Disappearing Acts (12/10/2006 3:17:07 PM)
Mz Mia, ma'am, he was probably intimadated. I agree he sounds like a coward, ma'am. I hope you have better luck in the future.

Petruchio -> RE: Disappearing Acts (12/10/2006 4:17:37 PM)
quote: How many here have experienced online, or real time disappearing acts? Especially disappearing acts from people who claimed to be SOOO interested? Don't sweat it girl. It happens to all of us.

kyraofMists -> RE: Disappearing Acts (12/10/2006 4:35:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MzMia kyra, you wonderful optimist you. LOL This is the message on his last email. [You cannot respond to this message because the account no longer exists] LOL The point of this topic, is to discuss why people deliberately delete their names and perform "Disappearing Acts". g No one has accused me of that before. I am a natural pessimist who tries to strive for just realistic most times. I have heard people on the boards say that their CM profile has somehow disappeared and they had to create a new one. That is why I threw it out there as an option. Most often I think people are just allowing their fears to control them. As someone who was brand new to online boards and BDSM not so long ago I can remember the fear of actually finding what I was seeking. Once I met my Lord though there was no running away. I thought about it, I tried to do it but the desire for him was greater than the fear. I imagine that if I had not met him, I would be one of those who just disappeared out of fear. Knight's kyra

MisPandora -> RE: Disappearing Acts (12/10/2006 5:51:46 PM)
It happens alot with male submissives online, and less frequently with females (although I just recently had one pull a houdini on me locally.) A number of years ago when I worked as a pro dom, I used to see this often with clients vanishing for months on end or wanks who would call to "talk" about their kink, schedule an appointment and then not show. It seems to have a variety of causes. Up front, if they wanked off to making the call or thereafter, they no longer have that submissive urge. Clients who have no shortage of cash come in for a session get that itch scratched and aren't heard from again until it surfaces again. It also could be guilt, especially if they're involved in a relationship. I know this annoys you, but we actually DID have a conversation about this on the mistress boards entitled "Poof Boys" and it really was about 6 months ago or so.

MisPandora -> RE: Disappearing Acts (12/10/2006 5:53:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedSavageSlave quote: ORIGINAL: MzMia I am looking out for his new one. LOL just out of curiosity...why are you looking out for his new one? Because that too is an all-too-frequent occurrence with male subs. They troll on multiple names, or they poof on one and come back on as another and start the whole fantasy conversation as a different person. Weird, eh?

MzMia -> RE: Disappearing Acts (12/10/2006 6:37:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MisPandora It happens alot with male submissives online, and less frequently with females (although I just recently had one pull a houdini on me locally.) A number of years ago when I worked as a pro dom, I used to see this often with clients vanishing for months on end or wanks who would call to "talk" about their kink, schedule an appointment and then not show. It seems to have a variety of causes. Up front, if they wanked off to making the call or thereafter, they no longer have that submissive urge. Clients who have no shortage of cash come in for a session get that itch scratched and aren't heard from again until it surfaces again. It also could be guilt, especially if they're involved in a relationship. I know this annoys you, but we actually DID have a conversation about this on the mistress boards entitled "Poof Boys" and it really was about 6 months ago or so. Actually, its nice when someone references a post made months ago, so that those interested can read it. I am going now!

MzMia -> RE: Disappearing Acts (12/10/2006 6:39:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MisPandora quote: ORIGINAL: RedSavageSlave quote: ORIGINAL: MzMia I am looking out for his new one. LOL just out of curiosity...why are you looking out for his new one? Because that too is an all-too-frequent occurrence with male subs. They troll on multiple names, or they poof on one and come back on as another and start the whole fantasy conversation as a different person. Weird, eh? I thought it was mainly males that did this, I am not at all surprised.

timeoutgurlie -> RE: Disappearing Acts (12/10/2006 7:10:00 PM)
I get that an awful lot; not the corresponding, but I've had at least a dozen mails from someone, then either by the time I go to read the message, or possibly even reply, read a profile, etc., that message is there or their name's now black. I wonder if it's the same person, but the messages don't seem similar really. Always thought it was strange. Ofetn it's someone who joined only days prior to deleting their account too. People are quirky [&:]

DominaSmartass -> RE: Disappearing Acts (12/10/2006 7:31:18 PM)
More times than I care to remember. I call it "going poof!" and it happens all the time. I am NOT a scary person, far from it. I am very nice, I swear. But I have both talked to people online who have done this as well as it happening after meeting in person. I have one theory on why it happens and this is possibly specific to my experiences because I'm dealing in large part with new/novice subs. Because I am very young and have been trying to find someone my own age for a while now, I have a lot of contact with guys in their early-mid twenties who have been fantasizing about d/s forever but mostly never met anyone. A lot of times, just the thought of meeting is enough to make them go poof, as they are happy to keep talking online forever but you mention meeting and it's like magic every time! Sometimes they are brave enough to actually meet but a second date? Forget about it. Most of the disappearing acts I have encountered have actually been with people that I really hit it off with really well and could even see potential with. So what I have conlduded from my own experience and from talking to others is that when it gets too real they have to retreat into a deeper fantasy world and away from any potential reality. You know what my solution has been? You've got to meet people in real life. I'm sorry to say it, but I don't believe in the validity of meeting online anymore. At least, in my experiences, it only works in the rarest of occassions. I found the person I'm with now (and very happy with) at a local MAsT meeting. Masters And slaves Together - for those who don't know. I know I'm going to get a lot of backlash from this because many of you have met people online successfully, but really, I think the odds are pretty low.

MzMia -> RE: Disappearing Acts (12/10/2006 7:48:55 PM)
Oh I know this, I met my ex-husband online. I have been online over 10 years. But I enjoy collarme and this is convienent for me also. I find it rather amusing, also. Thanks

MzMia -> RE: Disappearing Acts (12/10/2006 7:50:05 PM)
Let me also add, I would like to meet a submissive that is not necessarily local. The odds of me NOT finding him online are slim. We all seek different things.

DivineDarkDiva -> RE: Disappearing Acts (1/1/2007 6:07:29 PM)
I've experienced it in R/T. I have been guilty online of not pursuing something with someone who rather intrigued me. Maybe an email and nothing more. That happens because sometimes life intervenes.

HatesParisHilton -> RE: Disappearing Acts (1/1/2007 7:01:44 PM)
well, since it seems the greater aggregate of examples here are about males, sometimes a guy is trying to calm things down a bit or gracefully pull out and he freaks (fairly or unfairly, caveat lector on that one) because he perceives "Fatal Attraction Boild Rabbits" coming down the pike. Many places tell women to "run/break contact" the moment they sense a warning sign/bad red flag. No further contact. What's good for the goose is good for the gander. I offer this merely to state that sometimes it's not cowardice, however I wholeheartedly state, as a male, that I reckon the cowardice accounts for at least 60% of the "drop outs" for males. For females I cannot say.

SadoCasinero -> RE: Disappearing Acts (1/1/2007 7:28:32 PM)
Another "it happens in real life too" story. Had spoken with a woman several times after connecting with her through a print ad (yes, it was a while ago). She asked me to come by her house and pick her up to go out to dinner. Of course when I got there, lights were out, car was gone, answering machine off. As far as doing it online, to give the benefit, for those overwhelmed with email it just gets to be too much sometimes, or as a result of a conversation you get to realize that your profile is about who you thought you were, not who you actually are and its time to take stock and rethink. Perhaps. Trouble is, I'm getting more inclined to the cynical interpretations [:D]

Nosathro -> RE: Disappearing Acts (1/1/2007 7:39:29 PM)
Tal MzMia I know this happens but as I see it with my own experience and some others here it seems to be a growing trend. I wish you well Nosathro

acctonthelook -> RE: Disappearing Acts (1/1/2007 10:18:28 PM)
It's extremely common. Many times it happens when they get what they want from you and their needs are met. Many times they are unavailable for the weekends. Many times holidays, many times at night after work. I just move on...someday I will find someone I can share honesty, love, companionship and most of all D/s, 24/7, r/t without someone's garbage, baggage or fears and that person will be willing to trust me as much as I'm expected to trust them. I had a Dom r/t who disappeared daily, because of his job took him on the road. The daily I mean is just by a phone call. Sometimes non-exitstant. I'm now leary of anyone who I can only get in touch with during the day light hours. smiles

BitaTruble -> RE: Disappearing Acts (1/1/2007 11:03:15 PM)
quote: The funny thing is, I told him last night we seemed to be seeking different things, I guess my intuition was right, as it usually is! I'm a bit confused and after reading all the replies here, I guess I'm the only one! From the respondants, I gather that many think him a coward or afraid for 'running' away? Am I misreading what I've quoted from your OP? What I'm seeing here is that you conveyed to him that you weren't compatible, he took you at your word and decided to delete the profile he's been using to speak with you. How does taking you at your word and stepping completely out of your life make him anything other than savvy to the fact that he agreed that you two weren't compatible? Is my dim bulb on again here? Celeste

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