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cjklyn -> RE: is someone real (12/9/2006 3:12:36 PM)
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Sadly, it's impossible to be 100% sure if someone is for real. There are some things I've done in the past that have helped. I've asked for photos. NOT naughty photos. But normal snapshots. If someone is using pics that arent of them its unlikely they'll have clothed everday snapshot type pics. (similarly I use those sort of pics myself). I talk about things not related to the scene. their tastes in music, arts, what they thought of last nights tv fave films. Again, the fakes/frauds usualy arent interested in that sort of chat. and I also tend ot trust to instinct. sometimes people just feel right. But while I can usually spot the fakes, I can't admit to 100% success.
Having said that if I arrange to meet someone and she doesnt turn up, I don't assume she's not for real. It's much more likely she has cold feet, isn't really sure she's doing the right thing, has doubts. After all, until you've actually met people from the online world in the real world, its a big step to take. I do though try and make that first step easire. I insist a first meeting be on neutral, public territory of their choosing. I always go to them, don't insisit they come to me. So they can choose a pub, cafe they feel comfortable with. I always make clear the first meeting is purely social. to see if we click. If/when someone is considering submitting to me, I let them choose when/if they do this. I keep the meeting social, friendly, and off topic until/unless they ask to submit. their choice. I have met novice subs 5 or 6 times socially while they pluck up the courage, and choose to make that decision.
I remember back to the first time I ever met anyone online. I'm a very confident person in real life. I've no problems with nerves or condifence, but that first time, it was like my very first date. I was SO nervous, so I do appreciate its difficult from the other side to.
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