I know I shouldn't let it affect me, but... (Full Version)

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Lorelei115 -> I know I shouldn't let it affect me, but... (12/4/2006 9:44:35 AM)

This is the SECOND time its happened on this site. Someone has posted a profile making derrogotory comments about me. Not sure who it is, but I'm pretty sure that (considering the complete lack of spelling and grammar) that its no one I know personally. I do find it amusing that they claim to have been with me for over four years, though... you'd think I'd remember that.

Anyway... if someone had posted a profile saying I was a fake, or a player or something like that, hell I would just laugh it off. But this one accuses me of spreading an STD. That's pretty serious, and could effect me in negative ways OUTSIDE the community.

Like I said, I should probably just chalk it up to internet morons and laugh it off, but it still hurts, and its causing me to consider whether I should just leave the site.

Thoughts?



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: I know I shouldn't let it affect me, but... (12/4/2006 9:55:06 AM)

Instead of leaving the site, just stop all social interaction with people except a select few through email.

Or, report the profile to the mods.

it would be a very weird thing for a complete stranger to just pick your name out of nowhere and specifically go for you- it's much more likely to be someone you've known.

And how did you find the profile yourself? 



crouchingtigress -> RE: I know I shouldn't let it affect me, but... (12/4/2006 9:56:05 AM)

smile and forgive them...it will piss them off.
 
also on your profile you could say...hi, if you read something nasty or juicy about me, and are coming here to find out for yourself who i am and what sort of character i have...awesome...welcome...ill tell you anything you want to know....
 
but if you are here because you like to follow gossip and point fingers.....you might consider a change of hobby....maybe model building??? at least you have something to show for your efforts at the end of the day.



LaTigresse -> RE: I know I shouldn't let it affect me, but... (12/4/2006 9:58:51 AM)

I think you need to think about what is best for you and take that route.

I wish I could say anything more but the course of action would be different for each person facing this situation.

If it were myself I would laugh and totally blow it off without a thought. I don't get too concerned with anything on the net. But, I am pretty immune to giving a shit. That is reflected in how I would handle it. Someone else may be totally devastated, hire a PI and an attorney, track the person down and file charges of slander.

You just gotta do what works for you.



MmakeMme -> RE: I know I shouldn't let it affect me, but... (12/4/2006 9:59:55 AM)

I'm with LA. Report it. (And how did you find that profile? ~drooling to see if she's made the gossip rags~)



Lorelei115 -> RE: I know I shouldn't let it affect me, but... (12/4/2006 10:02:19 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Instead of leaving the site, just stop all social interaction with people except a select few through email.

Or, report the profile to the mods.

it would be a very weird thing for a complete stranger to just pick your name out of nowhere and specifically go for you- it's much more likely to be someone you've known.

And how did you find the profile yourself?


Stopping all social interaction except with a select few would negate my reason for being here at all...

I did report it.. it was the first thing I did.

I think it may be someone I've talked to, or rejected or something. Maybe that ticked them off.

And it was pointed out to me by another person. Which is also weird now that I think about it...



Lorelei115 -> RE: I know I shouldn't let it affect me, but... (12/4/2006 10:04:29 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

smile and forgive them...it will piss them off.

also on your profile you could say...hi, if you read something nasty or juicy about me, and are coming here to find out for yourself who i am and what sort of character i have...awesome...welcome...ill tell you anything you want to know....

but if you are here because you like to follow gossip and point fingers.....you might consider a change of hobby....maybe model building??? at least you have something to show for your efforts at the end of the day.


*Laughing* That's great advice, CT, thank you. [:D]

Can I quote you on my profile? *grin*



LadyEllen -> RE: I know I shouldn't let it affect me, but... (12/4/2006 10:04:45 AM)

The thing is, as far as we on the fora are concerned (I believe), we have come to know you a little, and so might find the derogatory comments a bit of a stretch to believe, over the person we have seen from her posts.

Dont walk away from the hundreds/thousands of good people here, just because some dickhead chooses you to pick on.

If its really a problem, then make a new profile, and do it in such a way that your ID and whereabouts are not so easy to divine to said dickhead, but still work for your search. But dont do it right now, as whoever will look for that. Save it for a while.

E



Lorelei115 -> RE: I know I shouldn't let it affect me, but... (12/4/2006 10:06:42 AM)

Thats also good advice, LadyE. Thank you. [:)]



marieToo -> RE: I know I shouldn't let it affect me, but... (12/4/2006 10:20:05 AM)

 
 
Don't feed it; it will stop coming 'round.






mgdartist -> RE: I know I shouldn't let it affect me, but... (12/4/2006 10:51:17 AM)

same problem here, but havent reported it. I was just amazed at just how much work she must have undertook to sully my reputation, and wonder if her sir is aware the better part of her lengthy journal was written about little ole me. Ack, likely I had it coming, and even if not, couldn't happen to a nicer guy...no? Normally, I might take such flaming in stride, but not when I was being so charming, as she basically admitted herself.
I did send her a rebuttal message which more or less turned the other cheek and ended with :
peace,
the jerk.
I must admit I'm unused to having such small glops of mud as "jerk" slung in my direction, and wondered at her forebearance...till I remembered the usual descriptor I'm given isn't allowed in the journals' vernacular. lucky me.
lol



spankmepink11 -> RE: I know I shouldn't let it affect me, but... (12/4/2006 12:03:14 PM)

This makes me grateful for obscurity...



SirKenin -> RE: I know I shouldn't let it affect me, but... (12/4/2006 1:38:45 PM)

Oh... My...  Ummm.   Can you not just shrug these things off?  They are games, plain and simple..  The internet is full of them.  If you make a choice to open yourself up on the internet, you also make the choice to expose yourself to stupidity of every degree.  You either develop a "thick skin" or you clam up.

To post crap in your profile is asinine and immature.  You are stooping to their level and playing the game.  Do not care what other people think.  If they are idiotic enough to rely on rumors then they are not the type of people you want in your life anyways.

Just turn a blind eye, forgive them for they know not what they do, and move on.  Otherwise you will only fan the flames.  Trust Me.



MstrssPassion -> RE: I know I shouldn't let it affect me, but... (12/4/2006 2:22:05 PM)

Sorry Lady Ellen but I have to completely disagree with this.

Never back out & run... (change your profile)... it will only make you look like your hiding thus making it appear there was some truth you were hiding from.

As it stands, if this person names your CM identity then they are in violation of TOS. It may take a few days to get support to respond to the profile being reported but they will have to comply or bye-bye

I wouldn't sweat it dear... it will pass. Besides, all you have to do is get yourself a clean bill of health by getting a check up & present it to those you would be involved with. While your at it... get that clean bill of health certificate from others as well.

edited to add: oh no no no ... don't post this drama on your personal profile.... your giving the other guy the power by doing so.



candystripper -> RE: I know I shouldn't let it affect me, but... (12/4/2006 2:34:39 PM)

Man, what a terrible thing to have happen.  And anonymously, no less.  What vile things P/pl do without much provocation.  I agree with those who advised You to report it, to shrug it off and not to reference it in Yr profile.  i think the odds of S/someone who knows you coming across another profile raining insults on you is unlikely, but i can understand the anxiety it would cause you. 
 
Whatever you decide to do, please stay.
 
candystripper



lilruffcat -> RE: I know I shouldn't let it affect me, but... (12/4/2006 4:13:36 PM)

The truth is, maybe many people here wouldn't have even seen it.. if you don't give it or the person who wrote it credence.. then it holds no value to those who truly enjoy you and know you..
if you give this person's words a voice, but putting it on a forum.. then they win.. dont let someone who you don't know.. nor care about, put you in a dark place.. move on..
if they are messing with you they are leaving someone else alone..



Lorelei115 -> RE: I know I shouldn't let it affect me, but... (12/4/2006 7:59:49 PM)

Leaving it alone is what I did the first time 'round. I reported it, stayed quiet, and thought it had passed. One time, ok, its some sort of fucked up game and someone had their laugh. Twice though.. it starts to look like a trend to me. And while I can take the occaisional jab pushed in my direction, a constant stream of harassment is enough, I think, to turn anyone off the site.



MstrssPassion -> RE: I know I shouldn't let it affect me, but... (12/4/2006 9:05:25 PM)

Sweetie... how much exposure do you really think the profile is getting. On top of that... how many threads have you seen since you've been on these boards are from aggrivated folk bitching about people NOT reading their profiles?





Lorelei115 -> RE: I know I shouldn't let it affect me, but... (12/4/2006 9:14:25 PM)

*giggling madly* Oh my god, you are so right! [:D]



LadyEllen -> RE: I know I shouldn't let it affect me, but... (12/5/2006 2:35:56 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion

Sorry Lady Ellen but I have to completely disagree with this.

Never back out & run... (change your profile)... it will only make you look like your hiding thus making it appear there was some truth you were hiding from.


I did say "if its really a problem"

E



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