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Daddysredhead -> RE: New Submissive (11/30/2006 8:10:52 PM)
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Dear Kikic -
First off, welcome to the boards, and understand that you get what you pay for here, although most will really try to offer you some good advice.
I think what most people here are trying to say is that you should be very careful of what you are getting into. While you may feel that your partner is very learned and experienced, it seems that he is rushing into things faster than necessary. I can only go by my own experience and my Master. He has also taken me along the bdsm path very slowly, allowing me to absorb the various parts of "what it is that we do" at a pace that felt more like studying for a degree than much else. We have been together three and a half years and it wasn't until seven months ago today, that I was collared to Him. That was our pace, no one else's, but I appreciate that He took the time to make sure that it was going to be something that I wanted and not just Him because He was comfortable with a D/s relationship. There have been times when I wanted to accelerate the pace and go faster than He was taking things - not really sub frenzy - just was excited to move on to the next thing.
I think that we are concerned that you may not be ready to take a step that really is quite a big one. You are on the right track, but reading a bit and taking your partner's word as gospel is just not the wisest move, no disrespect intended. There are some very good books out there (The Loving Dominant, The New Bottoming Book, etc.) and there are some really good people who can take the time to talk to you, esp. other female subs who have been around a while, whom you have come to respect.
There are many ways to have a collaring ceremony, or to just be collared - without any hooplah at all, from fancy to simple. My own two cents is that you can't go wrong with waiting a while, learn a bit more, get comfortable with what the future may hold. The only real way to provide informed consent is to be informed.
At my collaring, my Master branded me as well. He was trained years ago and has branded several others before me. Branding is something that needs to be done by someone who truly knows what they are doing. (Also, contrary to popular belief, many strike brands that are done as "sears" than like a person branding cattle... are NOT permanent. My seven month old brand is much lighter than it was originally.)
Please make sure you know what you are committing to before you commit to it. Talk to him and make sure that he is clear about the relationship and the type of collaring ceremony he wants to have with you, if he wants a ceremony at all. Education is very beneficial to a new sub, give yourself the best start you can. [:)]
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