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qilnos -> RE: Greetings and salutations.... (11/30/2006 5:04:46 PM)
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On further preview of my initial post I realized I told you fine ladies and gentlemen nothing about myself....
So without further ado....
A short time ago, this year actually , my brother killed himself....
As you can imagine this pretty much fucked my world up....
Then succession, me and my wife started rolling downhill.....
This is where my life gets interesting........
A long time friend stayed up with me one night bullshiting on the phone...
We talked about everything imaginable.... We stumbled on to this subject... She is a sub, and apparently she has had an ilkling from day one that I am a dominant..
After reading lots of books and websites it seemed to click, like this is what I am missing in my life....
I know my wife will never understand, but I dont know if this is really something I crave, or something I am grabbing at to make my life spin back under my control....
My friend and I have, for lack of a better word, played at this lifestyle....
It seems to feel right, like putting on an old jacket....
I recently stopped our "relationship" because it isnt fair, on her, on me, or anyone else for that matter....
I hate to say it but, I feel kinda like a junkie, for lack of a better word, as of late... Like I am trying to go cold turkey on something I have been doing for years... When in reality its only been a short while....
So basicly thats why I am here.....
I am at this moment, rudderless, and I would appreciate a gust of wind in the proper direction.....
Thank you for your time....
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