Is it paradoxal to be both a sadist and a machocist, yet not a switch ? (Full Version)

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MadameMonique -> Is it paradoxal to be both a sadist and a machocist, yet not a switch ? (11/17/2006 11:26:17 PM)

Is it paradoxal to be both a sadist and a machocist, yet firmly a Dominate/top in every other BDSM sense?

I thought this was an intresting question when I had it posed to me and I might throw it out there for discussion.



slavejali -> RE: Is it paradoxal to be both a sadist and a machocist, yet not a switch ? (11/17/2006 11:31:23 PM)

I don't think it is. Take men who are very much in control but in the throws of passion they get their back sliced up by finger nails or get bitten or whatever, and it just adds to the passion. I used that example cuz probably most everyone could relate to it, even vanillas...so I don't see what the difference would be for dominants within BDSM to enjoy strong sensations too that may be classified as masochistic.



BitaTruble -> RE: Is it paradoxal to be both a sadist and a machocist, yet not a switch ? (11/18/2006 12:10:28 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadameMonique

Is it paradoxal to be both a sadist and a machocist, yet firmly a Dominate/top in every other BDSM sense?



Nope, not at all. Sadism and masochism don't contradict one another, they complement one another. :)

Celeste



MagiksSlave -> RE: Is it paradoxal to be both a sadist and a machocist, yet not a switch ? (11/18/2006 12:48:16 AM)

Honestly I dont know why people always seem to think that Sadism is a Dom thing and Masachism is a sub thing the trueth is they are their own enteties and often not related to weather you are a Dom or a sub

Magik's slave



Lordandmaster -> RE: Is it paradoxal to be both a sadist and a machocist, yet not a switch ? (11/18/2006 1:06:20 AM)

Yup, I agree with everyone, so I don't have anything nasty to say.



SamKeithsslave -> RE: Is it paradoxal to be both a sadist and a machocist, yet not a switch ? (11/18/2006 1:11:42 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

Honestly I dont know why people always seem to think that Sadism is a Dom thing and Masachism is a sub thing the trueth is they are their own enteties and often not related to weather you are a Dom or a sub

Magik's slave


I agree. I also view pain in two ways - there is good pain and bad pain. And which pain people view as good or bad varies form person to person.



PiercedDaz -> RE: Is it paradoxal to be both a sadist and a machocist, yet not a switch ? (11/18/2006 1:39:13 AM)

I am very Dom and love being able to dish out pain responsibly. I could never ever imagine myself being strapped to a frame to be flogged. It just goes against everything that I am.

However, I absolutely get off off on another kind of pain. I love tattoos and piercings and also live for the thrill of pain while I work out. I think the mental state is that I enjoy hurting myself over letting someone else hurt me.



MasterFireMaam -> RE: Is it paradoxal to be both a sadist and a machocist, yet not a switch ? (11/18/2006 2:42:44 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadameMonique

Is it paradoxal to be both a sadist and a machocist, yet firmly a Dominate/top in every other BDSM sense?

I thought this was an intresting question when I had it posed to me and I might throw it out there for discussion.


To me, no. I believe the notion that what we do does not define who we are. I know many Masters who are both S & M...as well as many slaves who are both. It is their heart and calling that make them Master or slave, not which end of the whip they are on.

Master Fire



MstrssPassion -> RE: Is it paradoxal to be both a sadist and a machocist, yet not a switch ? (11/18/2006 7:31:30 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadameMonique

Is it paradoxal to be both a sadist and a machocist, yet firmly a Dominate/top in every other BDSM sense?

I thought this was an intresting question when I had it posed to me and I might throw it out there for discussion.


Sadism & Masochism is not directly connected to one's dominance or submission.

To many variations to list but the quickest way to express this would be to point out that dominants do not have to be sadistic in order to be dominant nor does a sub have to be masochistic in order to be submissive since there are huge numbers of people who never engage in any form of physical interactions where painful sensations are exchanged.

So if  you agree that couples who do not engage in BDSM are just as dominant & submissive as those who do not you would have to see that those who go both ways with sensations are not defined by those they engage in...

Besides... how many of you dominants have been they one who feels beat all to hell the day after you scened a bottom rather heavy?

Or... felt the recoil of the end of a whip? You gotta work past that sting to keep a straight face.



thetammyjo -> RE: Is it paradoxal to be both a sadist and a machocist, yet not a switch ? (11/18/2006 7:37:34 AM)

Depends entirely on your definition of switch now doesn't it?

If the switch title only relates to DS then no, you wouldn't be a switch.

If the switch title includes all the various activities generally aligned along the "control/director/pitcher" lines then yes, you'd be a switch.

Ultimately it is up to you what you want to call yourself and whether or not the people you interact with will accept that. They want to call you a switch and you don't like it? Guess those aren't the people for you to hang around with.



Aine -> RE: Is it paradoxal to be both a sadist and a machocist, yet not a switch ? (11/18/2006 10:09:38 AM)

It just means one might be a Dominant that bottoms for pain.

I do believe there's a very wise furry Dominant person that I see and love reading on the forums that has stated very well in the past about this exact subject.  She is a Master of a poly family and bottoms to sate her need for pain.

It's not submission, it's giving in to a need, sating a hunger, fuffilling a need.



QuietDom -> RE: Is it paradoxal to be both a sadist and a machocist, yet not a switch ? (11/18/2006 10:28:39 AM)

I've felt for some time that I need to experience my own toys in the way they're actually used, rather than by hitting myself as best I can, so that I have a better appreciation for the sensations they elicit.  But I'd balk instantly at bondage, or at obeying commands.  My best bet, I suppose, is to find someone willing to sub/top for me, but it is rather alien to the more conventional dynamics of BDSM scenes.

"Okay, now hit me with that one.  No, harder!  Put some shoulder into it, already!  Okay, good enough.  Now let's try the little rubber one..."



emdoub -> RE: Is it paradoxal to be both a sadist and a machocist, yet not a switch ? (11/18/2006 10:46:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadameMonique

Is it paradoxal to be both a sadist and a machocist, yet firmly a Dominate/top in every other BDSM sense?


Not particularly.  Hell, I even know a dominant masochist.  She's remarkably fond of getting sensation play, but gets no kicks from giving it - her sub has gotten very good at topping. 

"Now, I want 40 strokes from the cane - and they'd BETTER not cross at all, if you know what's good for you."

All permutations exist, and there is no paradox.

Midnight Writer



MasterFireMaam -> RE: Is it paradoxal to be both a sadist and a machocist, yet not a switch ? (11/18/2006 11:15:25 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: QuietDom

I've felt for some time that I need to experience my own toys in the way they're actually used... My best bet, I suppose, is to find someone willing to sub/top for me, but it is rather alien to the more conventional dynamics of BDSM scenes.


Actually, having your own toys used on you is a rather old tradition. It was just done in relative private. Find a Dominant friend who is willing to help you. Perhaps the two of you can switch roles and offer a service to each other. It's an honor to serve friends when they need it.

Master Fire



onlythewindknows -> RE: Is it paradoxal to be both a sadist and a machocist, yet not a switch ? (11/18/2006 11:22:14 AM)

i've known a good number of masochist Dominants.  one is a pain issue one is a control issue. different things.



CreativeDominant -> RE: Is it paradoxal to be both a sadist and a machocist, yet not a switch ? (11/18/2006 12:34:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadameMonique

Is it paradoxal to be both a sadist and a machocist, yet firmly a Dominate/top in every other BDSM sense?

I thought this was an intresting question when I had it posed to me and I might throw it out there for discussion.


I see no paradox in it.  Though BDSM has come to mean Bondage/Discipline & Dominance/Sadism & Submission/Masochism, I think most people still separate the D/s component from the BDSM component.  Just as there can be D/s without the BDSM and BDSM without the D/s and SM without it being sexual (see, Bita?...~g~), why can't you be a masochistic dominant or a sadistic submissive?  It only refers to the activity involved, not the level of power (or the role) within the relationship.



Sirandlittle1 -> RE: Is it paradoxal to be both a sadist and a machocist, yet not a switch ? (11/18/2006 1:47:52 PM)

The need to Dominate, feeds the control agenda.
The need for pain, feeds the masochist element.
Neither are related in themselves, their only link, is how we act them out using the same body.

What i would find paradoxical, is the way a person will need both, but only act out one, due to some fucking title the world game them? go figure???



MasterWilliam55 -> RE: Is it paradoxal to be both a sadist and a machocist, yet not a switch ? (11/18/2006 1:55:52 PM)

It's not that ubusual to come across Domme/Masochists who are Dominants in every real sense of the word but enjoy recieving pain, usually from a fellow Dominant. but in one case I know the male sub will provide pain under direction of his Dominant/masochist partner.



WantonThroat -> RE: Is it paradoxal to be both a sadist and a machocist, yet not a switch ? (11/18/2006 1:59:40 PM)

I am a collared and owned slave who was a Domme prior to meeting Him.  I am both masochistic and sadistic...which he enjoys when enjoying other ladies.

so I think for me it makes total sence.

His s.



Nikolette -> RE: Is it paradoxal to be both a sadist and a machocist, yet not a switch ? (11/18/2006 2:18:58 PM)

I'm extremely sadistic and also rather masochistic. In fact I am the most masochistic person I know. I never EVER switch. I do however enjoy forcing my slave to exercise some pain play with me. I lump that in the realm of forcing him to do other things though. Like.. face sitting or brushing my hair. In this case, he is not a sadist and he does NOT wish to do it, so perhaps its more like making him do dishes. Either way, I control it, it happens, and I enjoy it.

I believe its a paradox since a paradox is: a statement that is seemingly contradictory or opposed to common sense and yet is perhaps true (http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/paradox) One would think being both sadistic and masochistic is contradictory, and yet there it is existing in what is... apparently... several people.




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