KnightofMists
Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: happypervert
I think passively denying authority can also be seen as a service, so the line may be determined by intent. Earlier Kyra said she may not tell him she wants something and that he's really busy right now, so by going without she takes that burden of deciding about it off of him and makes his life easier.
actually... kyra and alandra would get me very annoyed with this type of thinking... their intent maybe to make my life easier.... but it not just a question of intent... but consequences of the actions as well. Lastly, it is the requirements I place upon them that is to guide their actions, which takes precendent of their intent. Frankly, it could be said that their Intent is of course to make my life easier.... but they do it within the parameters I have established.
But all this would be in my relationship. It should be understood that depending on the Relationship dynamics/structure, intent could be a reasonable cause to take specific actions.... particularly if guides/instructions are not their of the submissive and they can't get them as well. Even in my relationship dynamic... my girls could act on intent... when they can't get a hold of me and such decision needs to be acted on now. This of course would only be when they lack the clear direction of what I desire.
I can appreciate julia's point of view that it is a matter of trust for her. But, for me this is not a matter of trust. It's a matter of Authority to Act! Nothing more nothing less. It is also not a question of micro managing. The great thing about Authority is that it can be delegated. My girls understand in what areas they can exercise decision power... certain aspects have been delegated to them. When they come to something that is not covered... they ask. If they are unsure... they ask. I actually give alot of delegated Authority to my girls to act on various areas of concern. But, their is many areas that most consult me on. Sometimes just to pull on the chain of Authority I will require them to call me whenever they want something in particular. (for example.. kyra has in the pasts had to call me whenever she wanted Coke... and currently it's Cheese... maybe next will be Chocolate) Its not that it is of particular importance to me... but the exercise and the learned behaviors is of importance to me. kyra is learning that even the silliest of things she needs to have Authority for. She is learning what it is like to have no Authority but what has been delegated to her. She Transferred all... and I delegated some back!
quote:
Similarly, this also raises a question about initiative -- for example, should a submissive worry about organizing a surprise birthday party for the dom because it is denying him the authority to decide if he wants to be surprised or not? This is a case of actively denying authority, but I don't see it as a bad thing either.
Intiative is not really an issue..... since as above... I delegate Authorities back to the girls... one of the things that is delegated to them is the ability to save money... hidden from me for use to buy presents for me. As well the ability to do the surprize party kinda of think.
Again... Intiatives and Intents... Can be capitalized on with good Delegation of Authority!
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Knight of Mists
An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.
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RE: Passively Denying Authority - 
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