Justice or Revenge? (Full Version)

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slavejali -> Justice or Revenge? (11/12/2006 12:56:46 PM)

Hi there,

I won't go into the nitty gritty details of the past of this but there was a person who committed some atrocious acts against me a long time ago. Since that time this person has seemed to lead a charmed life, never getting caught for anything they did. I'm over pretty much the repercussions of what they did to me but recently an event has occurred which has me thinking about my past kinda sorta.

The person has been caught for something and is actually going to court. If they get convicted, they will spend the first day of their jail term in jail on my birthday. That's the thought that keeps crossing my mind. Then I start thinking, I do not want to be harbouring feelings of revenge, I see that as a very negative state of being, yet I do not really know what I'm feeling, whether its relief or some kind of happinesss as some kind of justice is finally being done even though what is happening now has nothing to do with me, or I'm just feeling plain revenge.

This whole scenario with this person though is so entangled with what happened way back then. The charge they are facing is for something they threatened me with as part of emotional blackmail which had me making some choices that really made me suffer greatly. It's all so ....apt.

If the person doesn't get convicted, I dont know how I will feel....I guess if I feel anguish it will mean I was feeling vengeful.....or perhaps will just think there is simply no justice to be had in this world...

Thanks for reading...I don't know what you can say to this topic, I guess I just wanted to share.



fergus -> RE: Justice or Revenge? (11/12/2006 1:05:35 PM)

slavejali,

There really are no 'negative' emotions ... there simply are emotions.  To deny their existance, or to try to shut them down though supposed intellectual means only buries them.  They always come back.  And often when they do, it is usually worse and in a form from whcih we can not recognize what the original source was in the first place.

We are human.  Wonderfully human with a full range of all possibilities.  Embrace your emotions ... after all, you are entitled to them!  Le them work themselves out. I might even suggest planning a special evening for the night in question - either as a celebration if it goes one way, or a consolation party if it goes the other way.  This would be a healthy way (I believe) to acknowledge the truth that your heart knows, and that way you can help to release these feelings.

Doing this does not make you a bad person!  It make you a human being and that is a wonderful thing to be.

Often we try to 'transcend' what we consider to be 'bad' or 'negative' ... but we can not.  We can only deny and stuff inside of us.  Even if we COULD remove these natural impulses ... what would we be?  Less than human I think.  And I think much less rich in the shared human experience.

fergus



slavejali -> RE: Justice or Revenge? (11/12/2006 1:10:13 PM)

fergus, I don't know why but your post made me cry..thanks for that.[:)] Guess I have some pent up emotions surrounding this subject.



Level -> RE: Justice or Revenge? (11/12/2006 1:13:36 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: fergus

slavejali,

There really are no 'negative' emotions ... there simply are emotions.  To deny their existance, or to try to shut them down though supposed intellectual means only buries them.  They always come back.  And often when they do, it is usually worse and in a form from whcih we can not recognize what the original source was in the first place.

We are human.  Wonderfully human with a full range of all possibilities.  Embrace your emotions ... after all, you are entitled to them!  Le them work themselves out. I might even suggest planning a special evening for the night in question - either as a celebration if it goes one way, or a consolation party if it goes the other way.  This would be a healthy way (I believe) to acknowledge the truth that your heart knows, and that way you can help to release these feelings.

Doing this does not make you a bad person!  It make you a human being and that is a wonderful thing to be.

Often we try to 'transcend' what we consider to be 'bad' or 'negative' ... but we can not.  We can only deny and stuff inside of us.  Even if we COULD remove these natural impulses ... what would we be?  Less than human I think.  And I think much less rich in the shared human experience.

fergus


Well said, fergus.
 
jali, hang in there, you certainly are not the only human being that's ever had to suffer through something like this. Know that you'll get through it, and that you can be stronger and better off for it.



slavejali -> RE: Justice or Revenge? (11/12/2006 1:21:27 PM)

I wonder if he will get justice in jail for me not being able to give a blow job for years till my jaw he fucked up got fixed.It still clicks when I open my mouth.

Sorry for cussing, I can't think of another word.



sissifytoserve -> RE: Justice or Revenge? (11/12/2006 1:23:21 PM)

I would say that is a 100% classical example of Divine Justice.

...and all of us are subject to it.

You have my deepest sympathies Jali.

If there is one thing people are good at...its f*ing each other over...sad to say.




Level -> RE: Justice or Revenge? (11/12/2006 1:26:35 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

I wonder if he will get justice in jail for me not being able to give a blow job for years till my jaw he fucked up got fixed.It still clicks when I open my mouth.

Sorry for cussing, I can't think of another word.


No need to apologize, jali. I'm not sure if kharma exists, but I hope he gets what is coming to him.
 
It's hard to let go of these kind of things, which is doubly sad, as the perpetrators usually don't let it bother their sleep.



subjected2006 -> RE: Justice or Revenge? (11/12/2006 1:32:36 PM)

justice ?
revenge?
my uncle who molested me
(and because HE LOOKED JUST LIKE MY DAD,the fuck up was deeper.
imagine that.).

decided to fataly shoot hiself about the same time I was
coming to terms with/accepting the truth , about  some night terrors/memories.
It is selfish of me I know..because he must have been truly tormented..
but I have to tell you..
I wanted  and was almost prepared to confront him.
No ..he was in another state and quite unaware of my mind-set.
But I know I couldnt have been the only one..but  I will never know.
Master helped me so much.
With out his help..I would still ruled by a few events perpetrated by
someone who had less control over his life than I do.
Sometimes revenge is like candy corn..it smells a whole lot better than it tastes.



slavejali -> RE: Justice or Revenge? (11/12/2006 1:45:42 PM)

Well the events back then did propel me on a path of soul searching and coming home to myself..so in that way I can be grateful to him. I don't think we can regret our pasts, it's good if we can turn adversities into learning curbs. I'm very well trained in turning my mind towards a positive direction....but with this subject at the moment, I do feel this fire raging inside me.

P.S. I'm sorry for your experience subjected2006



sissifytoserve -> RE: Justice or Revenge? (11/12/2006 1:46:02 PM)

Thanks for sharing subjected.



I don't believe in aa Christian god.

I do think there is a divine force.....and there is aa universal law that the things that you do
and do to other always comes back to you.

Could be a week, or longer...but it always does.



slavejali -> RE: Justice or Revenge? (11/12/2006 1:47:32 PM)

sissy, I believe in that too...but never thought I would see it play out in this lifetime....



sissifytoserve -> RE: Justice or Revenge? (11/12/2006 1:49:25 PM)

Actually,

Its happening all the time....we really just don't notice it unless something really bad happens to us.

But that is just my observation.



untamedshysub -> RE: Justice or Revenge? (11/12/2006 1:58:05 PM)

does not matter either way because its about you if he goes to jail or not you will still not be whole. To get past it and this is going to sound really werid you have to forgive him. He still has control over your life as long as you do not forgive him because you cant move on until you do.

Wow all those years of theapy did pay off. oh btw if you have a picture of him tape it to a punching bag and beat it until you are tired then write how how what he did made you feel and burn both.
it will help you to move on.



slavejali -> RE: Justice or Revenge? (11/12/2006 2:10:07 PM)

I was just thinking about forgiveness untamedshysub....forgiveness is letting go.

Energetically I like to keep balanced, it concerns me I'm feeling this fury raising up inside me..I need to process it, without supressing it....oh the challenges of life.[;)]..or maybe I could just let it out for a second or two lol...

I don't know about forgiveness or whether or not it is required here, I've forgiven him through understanding he had no control over himself, he couldn't help what he did, he didnt have the skills to act in a different way..I understand all that....there is nothing else to process in that regard. I've let go of the thoughts that things could have been any other way than they were...so in effect forgiven the situation itself.

Yet...right now with this situation that has come up...I'm feeling this energy inside me thats enormous..the only way I can describe it is its like fire. Maybe this fire will burn everything up finally, dissolve and resolve it energetically (kinda like your thoughts paper burning exercise you mentioned).



RiotGirl -> RE: Justice or Revenge? (11/12/2006 2:27:18 PM)

you want justice and in a way it would be justice



MsIncognito -> RE: Justice or Revenge? (11/12/2006 3:29:31 PM)

I don't think it's revenge but maybe a case of schadenfreude. As fergus said, we're all human and I think it's pretty normal to feel that way under the circumstances. 



slavejali -> RE: Justice or Revenge? (11/12/2006 3:44:32 PM)

If its purely that I'm taking pleasure in his misofortune..that disturbs me...ugh MsIcognito!!



happypervert -> RE: Justice or Revenge? (11/12/2006 7:27:51 PM)

quote:

If its purely that I'm taking pleasure in his misofortune..that disturbs me

It ain't misfortune -- it is the law catching up with a scumbag. It is no worse than watching a tv show about a serial killer that gets caught, except you happen to know this particular scumbag.

Misfortune would be if he got cancer or something. I suppose I can understand being disturbed if that was the case, but it ain't. And even if it was the case, fuck him! He's already made you feel bad enough so you shouldn't make yourself feel bad if you enjoy it.



LTRsubNW -> RE: Justice or Revenge? (11/12/2006 7:39:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

Hi there,

I won't go into the nitty gritty details of the past of this but there was a person who committed some atrocious acts against me a long time ago. Since that time this person has seemed to lead a charmed life, never getting caught for anything they did. I'm over pretty much the repercussions of what they did to me but recently an event has occurred which has me thinking about my past kinda sorta.

The person has been caught for something and is actually going to court. If they get convicted, they will spend the first day of their jail term in jail on my birthday. That's the thought that keeps crossing my mind. Then I start thinking, I do not want to be harbouring feelings of revenge, I see that as a very negative state of being, yet I do not really know what I'm feeling, whether its relief or some kind of happinesss as some kind of justice is finally being done even though what is happening now has nothing to do with me, or I'm just feeling plain revenge.

This whole scenario with this person though is so entangled with what happened way back then. The charge they are facing is for something they threatened me with as part of emotional blackmail which had me making some choices that really made me suffer greatly. It's all so ....apt.

If the person doesn't get convicted, I dont know how I will feel....I guess if I feel anguish it will mean I was feeling vengeful.....or perhaps will just think there is simply no justice to be had in this world...

Thanks for reading...I don't know what you can say to this topic, I guess I just wanted to share.


I say send them a cake with a file baked in it.



fergus -> RE: Justice or Revenge? (11/12/2006 7:53:10 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

If its purely that I'm taking pleasure in his misofortune..that disturbs me...ugh MsIcognito!!


And that is ALSO a natural human emotion and you are not a bad person for feeling this way.

fergus



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