RE: Sex cum dating site

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Sex cum dating site

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Sex cum dating site

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Sex cum dating site - 11/12/2006 2:02:53 PM

puzzle

Posts: 11
Joined: 4/29/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Quivver

So, I am asking you how you view CM, and the lifestyle.

In my opinion, CM is a great resource being that it's the only totally free BDSM personals site (worth it's salt) left.

Having said that, you have to take the good with the bad.

I hate to start spewing plattitudes, but one must never put their eggs in one basket. It serves a need, and well, but online dating of any form can isolate one if one is not careful. There is nothing like getting face to face and breathing the same air as someone else. A few typed words cannot replace physical presence.

Love and infatuation were meant to be contact sports.

(in reply to Quivver)

Post #: 21

RE: Sex cum dating site - 11/12/2006 2:23:10 PM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHugs

Dear Quivver, Ladies and Gentlemen;

In my mind's eye, I can agree that our sexual preferences go to the vein of M/s, D/s, BDSM, S&M. I would be bored with someone who didn't feed me in the non-traditional manner, such as female dominant and male slave/submissive relationship.

It really is about getting what we want in life. So, in a country where it was founded on the religious slant/religious freedom, it still was hobbling womens desires to get what they want in life. Just like the right to vote, women were denied so long. Perhaps this is why women vote more than a man, as it was a right hard fought to obtain.
So to, in BDSM (used very general) to get the right to be treated, in my case as a dominant entity, with the desire to have men subserviant to me. Sensual indeed spot on, sex is a mere part of it but, important to say and make clear; that sex is not the only thing on my mind or in the column of 'individual' want/needs. People are more than sexual objects--thus, I would say that Collarme.com attracts the salad bar of choices. Some only look for the kinky sex. People like me, much prefer to find a relationship and or have good conversation and growth through seeing in another's mind's eye.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

Lady Hugs said just what I wanted to say....only better!...so on this issue I am attaching myself to her coattails....considered and agreed with Lady Hugs!...Tempting

(in reply to LadyHugs)

Post #: 22

RE: Sex cum dating site - 11/12/2006 2:36:45 PM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Quivver

Another post got me thinking again about something I've pondered since I found CM. One of our dear memebers mentioned our site, CM as " a sex forum " in one breath and in another " a sex cum dating forum ". Please understand in no way am I pointing fingers I've always found this person's posts to be rational and well thought out. Definatly not your typical HNG. A part of me agree's with him, yet fully I can not. Just reading a bit on this side or the other you'll hear over and over again that this is not all about the sex. Yet, is that how ~we~ view this?
What I mean is it's obvious from so many first posters who find the boards from the other side where their heads are at. .. ... ... I'm not saying sex isnt involved when I look at this from my point of view, but it's not the starting point.

So, I am asking you how you view CM, and the lifestyle.

Bdsm is sexual for me. I use this site to find others to explore that with.
If I'm going to experience bdsm, then I'll be exploring it sexually.

edited to add...I'm also here for the forums. Thanks Lotus for kick starting my brain with your post.

< Message edited by Aileen68 -- 11/12/2006 2:52:57 PM >

(in reply to Quivver)

Post #: 23

RE: Sex cum dating site - 11/12/2006 2:50:34 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

Firstly, I think people that find this site get all excited about the kinky sex concept.

Then you have others that enjoy the energy exchange dynamics of the play and want to know more.

As far as I can tell 99% here are the first instance, leaving the remaining 1% that are here for sharing the understanding and knowledge.

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to Quivver)

Post #: 24

RE: Sex cum dating site - 11/12/2006 4:03:57 PM

Quivver

Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: puzzle
Love and infatuation were meant to be contact sports.

Puzzle, if you just made that up I'd suggest a copywrite!

_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to puzzle)

Post #: 25

RE: Sex cum dating site - 11/12/2006 5:01:40 PM

AlexAussieSub

Posts: 70
Joined: 10/13/2006
Status: offline

Yeah quite a few people I've chatted to here call it "a sex site" or "a pick up site" or something similar. This seemed intruiging as I always thought of collarme as more of a discussion thing. In general it just seems easier to hook up in the real world than over the internet, since your face to face from the word go.

Also I'm a believer in the idea that being on the receiving end of intercourse is an inherently submissive act. This means that I'm a strictly no-sex Sub, as in it's a hard limit in a scene (apart from strap-on, but whether or not this is sex has been debated to death and people seem to be evenly divided about what it is). So for me the whole BDSM scene is a place to look for Dommes, and the vanilla world is a place to look for sex partners. But I've got nothing against people who mix sex and BDSM, it's just not my thing.

Alex

(in reply to Quivver)

Post #: 26

RE: Sex cum dating site - 11/12/2006 5:15:11 PM

MistressTruth

Posts: 117
Joined: 2/22/2006
Status: offline

To me, BDSM = love/romance & really interesting erotic situations with a long-term exclusive partner compatible with me. BDSM and sex aren't separate for me, and pretending that it is separate from sex is naive. Now if I could find someone on the same page that was my type, that would be sweet.

I believe that if someone receives erotic gratification from the scene it's sex. I don't go by the strict definition of a vagina being penetrated by a penis as what sex is.

I view collarme as a personals site, where some people are looking for a quickie or a strictly non-romantic BDSM relationship and some people (like me) are looking for a ltr BDSM relationship with the so-called "one". Unfortunately I have met more people looking for the first one, getting our jollies off without anything deeper than that. Not that getting your jollies off with me isn't deep (and hard), if you catch my drift. ;-)

_____________________________

I've been lookin' for a divine hammer...

(in reply to AlexAussieSub)

Post #: 27

RE: Sex cum dating site - 11/12/2006 5:16:54 PM

MmakeMme

Posts: 682
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NC
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: puzzle

Love and infatuation were meant to be contact sports.

~grinning~ That is the most lovely tongue-in-cheek philosophical truism I've heard in awhile.

_____________________________

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. ~~ Dalai Lama

(in reply to puzzle)

Post #: 28

RE: Sex cum dating site - 11/12/2006 9:02:00 PM

AlexAussieSub

Posts: 70
Joined: 10/13/2006
Status: offline

MistressTruth,

I think BDSM is more than just another version of sex. Reason is a lot of times after I've blown and everything should be over I've asked myself "do I still want it in the ass?" and the answer was yes. It didn't matter whether it was from sex or masturbating or whatever. I just assumed it was natural that the two were seperate as you put it. In my day to day life I encounter people who are attractive as vanilla partners but not as Dommes and vice versa. I remember reading a thread on another site where guys were talking about their fantasies of being raped, and while the general consensus was that for sex they would be happy to be raped by anyone, for strap-on they only wanted celebrities. It was only when I came out that I learnt people mixed the two, and it's just not my thing in the same way cross-dressing or age play or golden showers isn't.

(in reply to MistressTruth)

Post #: 29

RE: Sex cum dating site - 11/12/2006 9:31:34 PM

prettiekitten

Posts: 13
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

I find myself here as a safe way of meeting and talking with people about my ideas without feeling "exposed" or uncomfortable, the way I would in a face to face setting. If I find someone for dating, great, but I don't expect it.

I do, however, think that it is hard to explain to people that D/s is not all about sex when there are dozens of sex ads popping up all over my cme.com page. Sorry guys, its really really annoying.

(in reply to AlexAussieSub)

Post #: 30

RE: Sex cum dating site - 11/12/2006 9:41:53 PM

justheather

Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline

The ads are relatively new. As a result of their very presence, some of us who used to spend more time browsing on "the other side" (not the new "other side", mind you, the old other side) log directly onto collarchat.com now and bypass the whole collarme part. I know I go there to check my mail and to look at the profiles of people who post over here, but that's it.
When I first joined, it was not with the intention of finding sex, but it was with the hope that I would find a partner. I met (and soon after, coupled with) someone I met here soon after, but Im still here, and not looking for sex....I dont really have any idea how many people roll through the site on any given day at any given hour, but the people Ive come to know via this site are all here pretty much for the same reason: the forums.
A person could go to a PTA meeting, a bar, a movie theatre or a place of worship with the intent of finding a mate or sex partner. That doesnt make it "a place that's just for finding sex". Just as lots of people use yahoo messenger as a way of finding cybersex partners, but people also use it to stay in touch with friends and family. People have sex on the kitchen table sometimes but that does not mean it's ruined for heartfelt discussion over family dinners.

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to prettiekitten)

Post #: 31

RE: Sex cum dating site - 11/12/2006 9:46:37 PM

MistressTruth

Posts: 117
Joined: 2/22/2006
Status: offline

Dear AlexAussieSub,

I know BDSM is more than just another version of sex. I've been Domming for a very long time with a lot of experience, I think I've figured out that true BDSM is more than another version of sex. You have nothing to teach me on that level.

What you wrote about your reasoning isn't worded very well, what do you mean by "blown"? Blown your wad?

Would these guys on whatever site you were on be ok with being raped by men? Just curious.

Ms. Truth

quote:

ORIGINAL: AlexAussieSub

MistressTruth,

I think BDSM is more than just another version of sex. Reason is a lot of times after I've blown and everything should be over I've asked myself "do I still want it in the ass?" and the answer was yes. It didn't matter whether it was from sex or masturbating or whatever. I just assumed it was natural that the two were seperate as you put it. In my day to day life I encounter people who are attractive as vanilla partners but not as Dommes and vice versa. I remember reading a thread on another site where guys were talking about their fantasies of being raped, and while the general consensus was that for sex they would be happy to be raped by anyone, for strap-on they only wanted celebrities. It was only when I came out that I learnt people mixed the two, and it's just not my thing in the same way cross-dressing or age play or golden showers isn't.

_____________________________

I've been lookin' for a divine hammer...

(in reply to AlexAussieSub)

Post #: 32

RE: Sex cum dating site - 11/12/2006 9:59:36 PM

Aine

Posts: 820
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline

I think we're getting into yet another sematics debate.

Am I here for sex? Nope. I get sex of all sorts from my boyfriend, and that's all I need.

Am I here for things that are sexually related? In some ways, yes. I'm here to learn about technique on things sexual, new ideas to bring to my sexual relationship with my boyfriend, information to make things clearer in my own head about my own new and strange sexual desires. Looking for perhaps a kind word and someone to tell me I'm not a bad person or a freak for those things that I like sexually.

So, in short, sex and sexual are two different things.

_____________________________

Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

Thank you, DelRay for that one.

(in reply to MistressTruth)

Post #: 33

RE: Sex cum dating site - 11/12/2006 10:40:13 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

Since my pet is still as of yet untouched sexually, yet collared and owned... Id have to disagree that this is about sex. While I am sure the relationship will go that way eventually, it has never been a focus. I control his orgasms not because of the sex aspect but becasue it was becoming an addiction for him and he needed outside control to break it.
I am not here on CM looking really for anything but other people to talk to that dont view my lifestyle as "strange". This is my venue to be myself without the vanilla trappings of normalcy. Before Angel, yes I found sex, I found playmates and I found a companion. Then I found Angel. Now, I stay looking for conversation with like minds and the witty banter of the forums

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to Siona)

Post #: 34

RE: Sex cum dating site - 11/13/2006 12:52:31 AM

diamonddreamlove

Posts: 770
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline

BDSM seems to mean many things to many people no definite definition. For me there are several aspects of it that i enjoy. I am in a D/s relationship that also practices bondage and S&M. We are also sexual in our play. Each of us have different likes even if we all enjoy bondage or D/s or S/M. None of it is wrong for another to do. I have my limits and others have theirs. I respect their limits and hope they respect mine. I met my Dom here and am happy with Him. For both of us the whole of wiithwd has been agreed upon by the two of us. I have know other Doms that did not consider sex a part of BDSM. That was their belief and wish. When i came to this site i was looking specifically for a D/s relationship. I did not come looking for sex. Now that i have a D/s relationship i come here for companionship, ideas and to learn as much as i can from everyone that posts. The poster discussed above has taught me something else about myself and that is my thoughts and feelings about BDSM has changed the longer i have been involved and i have learned that my kink is not necessarily your kink. I think that is called tolerance.

_____________________________

"Many attempts to communicate are nullified by saying too much." Robert Greenleaf

(in reply to Siona)

Post #: 35

RE: Sex cum dating site - 11/13/2006 2:52:19 AM

meatcleaver

Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline

General post.

Perhaps I should make a reply since I was the one that used 'sex cum dating' site. A quick look through the profiles and it appears to me one finds a majority of women (I haven't looked at male profiles) who say they are looking for 'the one' and list a host of preferences, sexual persuasion, sexual desires and fantasies amongst other personal info. If one is not going to date (even online dating) how is one going to find 'the one' and the one that is compatible to ones sexual preferences?

In my personal experience women are always reluctant to be the ones that start a sexual conversation, one assumes they don't want to be labeled a slut or given some other derogatory label, however, once that particular barrier has been broke, it is the women that can't get enough sex. Which leads me to the suspicion that just about all the replies are from women saying they are not formost interested in sex aren't being entirely honest though I accept that women on the whole look for a relationship first and sex second. Though this isn't incompatible with the label 'sex cum dating'.

I'm not looking for anyone on CM because I don't have time for a relationship and most women who use CM are hundreds if not thousands of miles away from me anyway but I've had some messages from women, a couple who suggested that I'd be surprised what they were (sexually) capable of if we ended up trusting eachother. I declined because of the time differences and the distances involved (maybe they didn't look at my profile though there is little info on it which surprised me I was contacted in the first place).

All of which caused me to have the perception this was a 'sex cum dating' site. I do accept that not everyone here is looking for sex and a date, I'm not but the majority do appear to be.

The 'cum' was a mistake, I obviously had sex on the brain when I was wrote that phrase.

< Message edited by meatcleaver -- 11/13/2006 2:57:52 AM >

(in reply to diamonddreamlove)

Post #: 36

RE: Sex cum dating site - 11/13/2006 3:03:05 AM

Quivver

Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

Heck Meat, I wasnt pickin on you! But it's always good to get things straight from the horses mouth!
Cant say I disagree with you either.

_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to meatcleaver)

Post #: 37

RE: Sex cum dating site - 11/13/2006 3:40:12 AM

AlexAussieSub

Posts: 70
Joined: 10/13/2006
Status: offline

Mean blown as in ejaculated, I thought it was universal but it must be a local thing. There was a whole thread I read about it, some guys fantasised only about men, others only about women, some about transvestites, some didn't care.

(in reply to MistressTruth)

Post #: 38

RE: Sex cum dating site - 11/13/2006 4:52:25 AM

meatcleaver

Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Quivver

Heck Meat, I wasnt pickin on you! But it's always good to get things straight from the horses mouth!
Cant say I disagree with you either.

I didn't think for a minute that you were Quivver.

Like any self respecting motormouth, I couldn't resist putting in my 2cents.

< Message edited by meatcleaver -- 11/13/2006 4:53:31 AM >

(in reply to Quivver)

Post #: 39

RE: Sex cum dating site - 11/13/2006 11:17:08 AM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: toservez

It is what you want to make of it. The personal side has people looking for the One and certainly that would not make it a sex hookup site, but there is also plenty of people on the site from both genders and roles that are not looking for anything serious and that realistically means hookup. Sex part can certianly be a part of that as well. For some sex has nothing to do with the life, for others it is all about bedroom play and for others it all mixes together.

How I view the life is it is all consuming. I do not separate sex nor do I think it is all about sex. What I do think this life does that helps in the sex area is let people feel free to talk about sex and not lock it away in a closet like many people in the regular world do when first getting to know each other. Sex is a very large drive for most of us and therefore talked about and looking for someone compatible is a good thing in my book. I applaud people who will talk about it just as long as they can also talk about others things.

toserve, you took the words right out of my mouth.

(in reply to toservez)

Post #: 40

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Sex cum dating site

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.125