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LucifiersGenius -> Philly Subbie and Hearty Brainiac (11/10/2006 10:18:53 PM)
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I'm a 48 yr old subbie from The City of Brotherly Love, taking my first walk across the stage and strutting my stuff. The applause! The laughter! The catcalls! The boos! It's all good, and I've know better than to take my fame seriously. This web-site is a dire fun. I'm really more of a role player as a submissive, though once a relationship is established with a woman it becomes bankable. In other words, even in my most vainglorious moments, public or otherwise, I never forget who's boss.
Emotionally, I am a boy/child who remains at the sexual crossroads, not wanting to leave his mother's skirt and not wanting to be a man! However, I've built a pretty good Vanilla Life around that sweet androgenous interior. I'm armour plated by my intellect and physical poise as an ex-athlete. However, I can only love one way: through a woman's physical and emotional direction.
Lately, I've been reading lots of Camile Paglia and Gore Vidal. They are both gay, but oddly conservative and protective of the magnificent legacies, in all the arts, that come from American and European culture. What they despise is repression, sexual and political, and I'm using them as models of flexible thinking. I don't think, by the way, that a person's contradictions make him a hypocrite. I think that a person's contradictions make him human! They are comedy on Friday and tragedy on Saturday. What's important is that the person be reliable, and this reliability doesn't have anything to do with being such a liberal fascist, or conservative fascist, that he strangles all the opposing voices inside of him. Really, I've got angels and devils screaming at me 24hrs a day! I can't get relief! No wonder I long for a woman to dominate me. I can't dominate myself!
In any case, this forum really gets the creative juices flowing. I can't believe all the compelling Dommes, with their diamond-hard souls, each cut in a unique way, and each casting a unique prism as the locomotive light of my imagination shines through. I've never felt so on-track. And yet, I've never felt so ready to die a thousand-and-one deaths.
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