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gypsygrl -> RE: The power of Power Exchange (11/3/2006 12:46:14 PM)
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I'm gonna go out on a limb with my response, here, and want to preface it with the disclaimer that I'm only guessing.
All my adult life, I've been fascinated by power dynamics, though I've only been actively involved with bd/sm and D/s for about 5 years. I'm pretty sure what we call 'power exchange' is simply a ubiquitous fact of human relations. Whenever two or more people come into any kind of meaningful contact with each other, theres always a subtle struggle to establish dominance relations that often occurs just below conscious awareness. Ideally, the reconciliation will be mutually beneficial. Often its not, and the result can be exploitative, abusive or just plain icky.
For some reason, and I'm guessing not everyone is like this, I've always been extremely sensitive to these power dynamics (so sensitive that once, in my early 20's, I did power exchange with a spider). I can't settle into a situation until I get a sense for the implicit hiearchy, and if that sense never emerges, everything feels chaotic and disorganized. Early on in college, I discovered that I could translate my sensitivity into theoretical terms and concentrated heaviliy on social and political theory, disciplines where understanding power relationships is highly functional and productive. (I wrote my Master's thesis on Orwell's 1984 and attended heavily to the dynamic between Obrien and Winston. My dissertation, in large part, explores the structure of authority in the 20th century family.)
One of the areas I do power exchange with no intention of partnering up is as a student, and more recently as a teacher. As a student, finding a professor I can work under is always a challenge, and I've always done a lot of shopping around, but once I find that person, its like an immediate allignment of wills or something. I don't really understand it, but can recognize its benefit in my work.
I used to be really embarrassed by this because it feels like an infatuation, complete with stammering, blushing and being overcome with a basic stupidity but then I started teaching and saw it in my students so I realized it wasn't just me, but part of the basic pedagogical relationship. Its one of the coolest things about teaching, when I can get a good energy flow going and channel it in the direction of a student's intellectual development.
I do recognize the signs of a dominant presense almost immediately. I know, however, that feeling that presence doesn't necessarily mean that its a good thing or that the person who's emitting it is going to be a positive influence. Feeling their presence only suggests that they will be able to influence me, sometimes very intensely but not always in a way thats good for me, in a general sense. So, I tend to be very cautious.
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