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emdoub -> RE: Teaching/Learning: A new sub (11/13/2006 10:33:32 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: notaregularboy
I'm very new to the BDSM scene, and well, since this thread isn't really an "introduction", I thought it'd be better suited for this forum. I'll try my best to keep this from sounding like a depressed teenage rant.
Your best worked well enough - welcome aboard!
quote:
I'm an eighteen year old submissive male seeking feminization. However, I've been taught for years (yes, I was a minor and had "cybersex"[sm=river.gif]) that being a submissive meant having low self esteem, and being a m2f submissive meant that my life should center around "getting big tits" and "sucking cock". I don't think this is really what I want to get into if that's all being a submissive is. Am I really missing something? I don't really know what to do. I'm trying to learn about D/s, but it seems that everybody who seems interested in me is just wanting sex. I want more than that. Is that so wrong? Is there anyone out there who is actually "real"?
First - you're not missing *anything*. Being submissive, for you, is always going to be exactly what you want it to be. There is no universal standard (and I strongly suggest avoiding anyone who tries to tell you differently) - you get to make your own standard as you go. It may be harder to find the dominant that is looking for what you want to give, and who wants to give what you want to get - but it's worth the wait when you find it. Look around, take what sings to your heart, ignore the stuff that leaves you cold - beyond all of the schools and uniforms, this is a remarkably custom-fit community - very few actually live the off-the-rack stereotypes, and nobody can demand that you do so.
Are there real people out there, doing this stuff? Yup - lots of them. Are there frauds, who type a great scthick, without any real life experience? Of course. Until you're more experienced, they're gonna look very much alike, too.
Read and converse a lot in online forums. Read good books - there's lots of them available these days. Take everything with a grain of salt - even this - until you see some evidence that convinces you. If you can find a local community, that'll be a help as well - but there are makers, takers, and fakers there, as well - and you'll need more experience before you can tell the difference between them. Move cautiously, keep yourself safe, and never be afraid or ashamed to say "Hey - this isn't what I'm looking for, so thanks, but no thanks".
What you want is out there. Once you have a clear idea of what it is, it becomes easier to find. Patience wasn't my strong suit at 18 - I hope you're better at it than I was.
Midnight Writer
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