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Submission - 10/29/2006 3:28:49 PM   
exotikk


Posts: 4
Joined: 10/10/2006
Status: offline 		I am not sure who all will read this but i feel that the women here should be more involved with the search of there One. It is left on the Doms real or not to message them and the women weed though tossing likely canidates into the delete box.Any M/s or D/s relationship involves more than just the Dom or Master and so it should not be left just to the Doms to do all the initiating of contact, especially when in essence it is up to the slave/sub to make the decision who they will kneel and submit to.I think that more people should get involved in reaching out to people that are more what they are seeking and not just sitting back hoping the right one comes along. I have asked several other Doms if any have been contacted first by prospective matches and the answer is always no.Slaves and subs need a Dom or Master just as much as we are looking and would make the connection much easier if the subs knowing what they will accept also made an attempt to seek out there one, again they are the ones who submit and so have the power of choice until they do. Lastly there is nothing wrong with a woman being Domme or a sub/slave approaching or initating contact. You may find better response and fewer fakes. I have many other issues for another time.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Submission - 10/29/2006 3:32:45 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		The reality is that some of us DO reach out when we want to...and frankly, we don't NEED to reach out.  If anything, subs are inundated with more than enough crap to sort through as it is. 

If all the "doms" out there stopped being so obvious and seeking, then maybe we'd have a reason to start being more pro-active.  Until then, we do what works for us.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to exotikk)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Submission - 10/29/2006 3:39:14 PM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline 		personally, i think that if one is looking for something more than casual play or friendship, then there shouldn't be any active "looking" at all, from either side, Dominant or submissive. like the saying goes, whatever will be, will be...true love, or even just a non-romantic but meaningful committed relationship, will reach us when the time is right, dating/looking/posting ads not necessary.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Submission - 10/29/2006 3:39:47 PM   
spanklette


Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline 		Please keep in mind that I only glanced at your profile...maybe your profile doesn't move submissives to contact you. If I were you, I would change the colors to make it easier on the eyes. You might find the dynamic of trying to meet people is more fulfilling for you at your local events. Good luck. 

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to exotikk)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Submission - 10/29/2006 3:46:54 PM   
diamonddreamlove


Posts: 770
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline 		Obviously You did not speak to my Dom.  I contacted Him first based on His profile and nearness to my home area.  There were others that i also contacted and some i remain good friends with.  Sir is special and has had my attention since we first met.   Thanks for reminding me to be grateful that i found Him!

_____________________________

"Many attempts to communicate are nullified by saying too much." Robert Greenleaf

(in reply to spanklette)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Submission - 10/29/2006 3:47:41 PM   
goodpet


Posts: 458
Joined: 6/8/2005
Status: offline 		Hmmm, I can see what you are talking about Exotikk, all parties need to take an active role in finding a partner. i think many subs do feel they "have to" wait and it is  the Dom's role to be the proactive one. i personally disagree, i think both should make contact.
and it is important how each presents themself as available in groups, online, to friends.. networking is a good way to find folks.

the reality is that most female  subs do not have make a lot of contacts, since they get many male Doms sending messages to them.

~ann

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Submission - 10/29/2006 4:14:37 PM   
ImpGrrl


Posts: 575
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I totally agree.  I have never "looked" - either I was single for awhile, or the Universa just came together to bring someone special to my doorstep.

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

personally, i think that if one is looking for something more than casual play or friendship, then there shouldn't be any active "looking" at all, from either side, Dominant or submissive. like the saying goes, whatever will be, will be...true love, or even just a non-romantic but meaningful committed relationship, will reach us when the time is right, dating/looking/posting ads not necessary.

(in reply to daddysprop247)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Submission - 10/29/2006 4:38:32 PM   
exotikk


Posts: 4
Joined: 10/10/2006
Status: offline 		You who are able to wait for a relationship fall in your lap God bless you, most of us are not that lucky which is the reason for this and many other sites.I would also like to add that those of us that are seeking  and serious need to be of both parties. Again if more women were involved withfinding what it was that they were  seeking it would save alot of time and prove for better results. You women have the power to choose who you submit to so it only makes sense that you also take part in the search. For those of you that have I and many others thank you for doing so it seems you are rare.

(in reply to ImpGrrl)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Submission - 10/29/2006 4:41:57 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		I'm of the thought that people looking for partners should stop looking altogether, it would take the pressure and stress away from trying to find someone.

Doesn't mean you can't put yourself in atmospheres where you will be surrounded by like-minded people..and if you do that, then just naturallly a relationship might occur....and all that without stress.

_____________________________

Freedom in Bondage

Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

(in reply to ImpGrrl)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Submission - 10/29/2006 5:05:50 PM   
ImpGrrl


Posts: 575
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: exotikk

You who are able to wait for a relationship fall in your lap God bless you, most of us are not that lucky which is the reason for this and many other sites.I would also like to add that those of us that are seeking  and serious need to be of both parties. Again if more women were involved withfinding what it was that they were  seeking it would save alot of time and prove for better results. You women have the power to choose who you submit to so it only makes sense that you also take part in the search. For those of you that have I and many others thank you for doing so it seems you are rare.


See - that's the *point*.

I have my relationships "fall into my lap" precisely *because* I'm not out looking for it.  I'm concentrating on doing good for me, on making myself a better person, on keeping myself whole and complete and happy.

So - naturally, a whole, complete, healthy happy ImpGrrl is more attractive than an incomplete, needy, desperate one.  And that whole, complete, healthy, happy ImpGrrl is suddenly overrun with "suitors".

It's not that I'm lucky - it's that I'm whole, complete, and happy.  That's attractive in a person.

(in reply to exotikk)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Submission - 10/29/2006 5:32:59 PM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: spanklette

Please keep in mind that I only glanced at your profile...maybe your profile doesn't move submissives to contact you. If I were you, I would change the colors to make it easier on the eyes.


I agree that your profile is impossible to read unless you hightlight the text. I wouldn't bother with it if I was a submissive looking for my One. Just saying.

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to spanklette)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Submission - 10/29/2006 7:51:42 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		It has been said many times in other forum postings that many a sub has been proactive in their search (myself included).I looked at location,age,preferences,ideaology...sometimes I thought it would be a good match,but usually those were the ones who never got back with me..grin...ahh well such is life...que sera sera..(wonder if I spelled that right?)....  Tempting

(in reply to Littlepita)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Submission - 10/29/2006 9:02:50 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		As I always say- it's when you're happy, contented, full and busy that a relationship comes along to fuck it all up :)

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Submission - 10/29/2006 9:58:40 PM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline 		I do not dissagree that being proactive is a good thing for us female submissives in our search. From my standpoint of just went through the initial onslaught of signing up that I had a tough enough time in reading and replying to messages in my inbox let alone finding the time to surf the profiles and initiate contact. I hope that if things do not work out with the man who has got my attention that I will do just that and initiate contact.

Now I do think part of the reason, and not meant as an excuse, is that the combination of female and submissive does not have a natural lets make first contact. I am quite shy in this area in real life as well as cyber. Not proud nor ashamed of it, but just a fact. Life is what life is.



_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Submission - 10/29/2006 11:35:34 PM   
Noah


Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: exotikk

I am not sure who all will read this but i feel that the women here should be more involved with the search of there One. It is left on the Doms real or not to message them and the women weed though tossing likely canidates into the delete box.Any M/s or D/s relationship involves more than just the Dom or Master and so it should not be left just to the Doms to do all the initiating of contact, especially when in essence it is up to the slave/sub to make the decision who they will kneel and submit to.I think that more people should get involved in reaching out to people that are more what they are seeking and not just sitting back hoping the right one comes along. I have asked several other Doms if any have been contacted first by prospective matches and the answer is always no.Slaves and subs need a Dom or Master just as much as we are looking and would make the connection much easier if the subs knowing what they will accept also made an attempt to seek out there one, again they are the ones who submit and so have the power of choice until they do. Lastly there is nothing wrong with a woman being Domme or a sub/slave approaching or initating contact. You may find better response and fewer fakes. I have many other issues for another time.


It is fine to broadcast a general plea for people like them to contact people like you. Several doms might be contacted as a result. You may or may not be one of them.

It just isn't true that submissives don't approach dominants fairly frequently here, not if my experience is any guage.

Leaving the generalities out of it there are a number of ways in which you can act to inspire others to contact you in particular, as opposed to investing your time in making general entreaties to the group.

Consider them. Make your choices. Play your cards.

"I have many other issues for another time" might just turn out not to be a powerful drawing card.

In any case, welcome and good hunting, if that's what you're here for.

(in reply to exotikk)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Submission - 10/30/2006 5:36:44 AM   
Aubre


Posts: 478
Joined: 12/9/2004
Status: offline 		You can either sit on the sidelines and let life happen around you or you can get in the game and be an active participant. I encourage people to get out there and ask for what they want.

(in reply to Noah)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Submission - 10/30/2006 5:42:05 AM   
RedSavageSlave


Posts: 733
Joined: 9/12/2006
Status: offline 		I am proactive.. I actively go through the bazillion emails I would get, I actively return emals to the ones who intrigue me or simply interest me in some way, I actively continue communication with them for as long as the interest is there. I actively meet in public generally within a couple of weeks (if not sooner depending on the vibe). I actively scene with them in the continuation of compatibility discovery. I actively give my consent to be owned by that person when the time is appropriate for both parties to agree to such an arrangement. And then I actively continue to submit during the time we are together.

I dont see anything passive about what I do in my search. Just because I dont send out the opening email to all the dom's before they email me doesnt make me non-proactive.

_____________________________

My give a damn's busted.

So many thoughts, so few of them rational

(in reply to Aubre)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Submission - 10/30/2006 8:43:56 AM   
jthorne


Posts: 99
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: exotikk

You who are able to wait for a relationship fall in your lap God bless you, most of us are not that lucky which is the reason for this and many other sites.I would also like to add that those of us that are seeking and serious need to be of both parties. Again if more women were involved withfinding what it was that they were seeking it would save alot of time and prove for better results. You women have the power to choose who you submit to so it only makes sense that you also take part in the search. For those of you that have I and many others thank you for doing so it seems you are rare.


I don't come to collarme, or indeed ANY Internet personals site, thinking I am going to find the One. That may be the difference between us. I'm coming to make friends, chat with people, and POSSIBLY get involved. So no, I don't aggressively court the type of person I'm looking for. I think if something is meant to happen, it will, and so I keep on doing my thing and making friends.

(in reply to exotikk)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Submission - 10/30/2006 8:55:57 AM   
Lorelei115


Posts: 1933
Joined: 8/16/2006
From: Sin City
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

As I always say- it's when you're happy, contented, full and busy that a relationship comes along to fuck it all up :)


LMAO.. I've found that to be SO true, LA.

_____________________________

A sucessful life is not measured by what we do
But by the realization
Of who we are.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Submission - 10/30/2006 1:13:35 PM   
exotikk


Posts: 4
Joined: 10/10/2006
Status: offline 		This is far from a positive way to get attention and i magine that there will be less consideration in terms of me. But that is neither here nor there. I simply expressed what alot of people on this site are feeling and have not voiced. I am merely attempting to encourage more people to seek what it is they are needing or want. No one likes to be rejected but nothing ventured nothing gained.

(in reply to Noah)
Profile   Post #: 20
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