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Honestly speaking - 10/25/2006 8:11:54 PM   
DesireDeeva


Posts: 48
Joined: 10/5/2006
From: IN...livin in MI.
Status: offline 		If ur only in a "sexual" relationship that's not so great because the other person is boring in bed, is it so wrong 2 be honest w/that person & just move on? or would u find other reasons 2 stay in the relationship?

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RE: Honestly speaking - 10/25/2006 8:48:30 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesireDeeva

If ur only in a "sexual" relationship that's not so great because the other person is boring in bed, is it so wrong 2 be honest w/that person & just move on? or would u find other reasons 2 stay in the relationship?


This situation is clearly working with the Prostitute archetype. This is one of the four survival archetypes we all have. It boils down to: what are you willing to "sell" in order to maintain a relationship? Happiness? Fulfillment? Sexual satisfaction? What's it REALLY worth to you?

Master Fire


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RE: Honestly speaking - 10/25/2006 9:22:45 PM   
DesireDeeva


Posts: 48
Joined: 10/5/2006
From: IN...livin in MI.
Status: offline 		Prostitution archetype (personality or behavior)/selling????? c'mon now....that would be best described 4 those who actually r seeking income 4 their services,lol...but that has nutthin 2 do with my question & that's also y I'm in the "off topic" forum... this has nutthin 2 do w/bdsm, money exchange,ect., this is just about "sex" in a vanilla world, I don't think anyone should have 2 "sell" themselves 2  find happiness (how does that work? lol), though there r those who choose  2 "sell" themselves 4 sexual gratification, that's their choice & has 0  2 do w/this topic...

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RE: Honestly speaking - 10/25/2006 9:35:46 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		I am going to answer your question with a question. Why would anyone stay in a relationship that had no emotional investment and was only of a sexual nature and the sex was bad?

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RE: Honestly speaking - 10/25/2006 9:44:29 PM   
MizSuz


Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesireDeeva

If ur only in a "sexual" relationship that's not so great because the other person is boring in bed, is it so wrong 2 be honest w/that person & just move on? or would u find other reasons 2 stay in the relationship?


When you say "only in a 'sexual' relationship" do you mean that the only thing the relationship is about is sex?  Or do you mean you're in a relationship that's important to you but the sex sucks?

It would seem that your investment would be higher in one than the other, but either way my next question would be - have you sat the boy down and told him what you want?  Maybe he doesn't know.  How are you at giving instructions?  Lots of guys just need a little direction and to learn to pay attention to you and your body and they kind of blossom sexually.

Barring all that, if it's inevitably unsatisfying (for whatever reason) then the answer is pretty clear.


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RE: Honestly speaking - 10/25/2006 10:23:00 PM   
StacyCat


Posts: 112
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		If you are in a relationship that is just about sex, and the sex is bad, what other reason do you have for staying in that relationship?

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RE: Honestly speaking - 10/25/2006 10:31:00 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Um, if you are in sexual relationship and the sex is bad, then there isnt anything else to keep the relationship for.  There has to be a reason you felt it necessary to make it known that the relationship was sexual only, which implies to at least me that the other aspects are missing already, so staying in the relationship becasue of them seems to defeat the purpose.

DV

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RE: Honestly speaking - 10/26/2006 12:54:26 AM   
SlaveAkasha


Posts: 726
Joined: 9/30/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		I have had relationships based only on sex.  If the sex was great, we made it a regular thing, if it wasn't, there was no reason to drag it out further.
 
I have been in good relationships otherwise, but the sex sucked.  I have worked on those and lived without the sex part because the relationship otherwise was a very good and happy one.
 
It's all about how much it means to you.  If it's a sex one, and it's not good..why mess with it?  If it has more to it and the other parts are important enough, then stick it out.
 
I will never stay in a relationship where the sex isn't satisfying again, by doing that I am cheating myself, and even the person I am with.  I know that I won't be totally happy, so I would be lying to them and holding them back from finding someone that they could be totally complete with.
 
Akasha

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RE: Honestly speaking - 10/26/2006 2:12:58 AM   
BitaTruble


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From: Texas
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesireDeeva

If ur only in a "sexual" relationship that's not so great because the other person is boring in bed, is it so wrong 2 be honest w/that person & just move on? or would u find other reasons 2 stay in the relationship?


Have you tried teaching your partner some techniques so it's not so boring? On the flip side, if you help spice it up, maybe it won't be so boring either. I mean, last time I checked, it did take (at least) two to tango.

Celeste

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RE: Honestly speaking - 10/26/2006 2:52:19 AM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline 		Your in it for sex, is it possible the other party see's it as more?
Have you spoken up about this or just laid there reading the paper while they pound away?
Sometimes the clueless will remain ever so. 

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RE: Honestly speaking - 10/26/2006 4:37:03 PM   
DesireDeeva


Posts: 48
Joined: 10/5/2006
From: IN...livin in MI.
Status: offline 		Oh wow! I had no idea that some of u thought this topic was about me,lol....it's not...it was a question that 1 of the guys I work with asked  in the office on yesterday, we all had some pretty funny or interesting responses, so I wanted 2 ask the same question here...but! my reply was that if I had sex w/the guy 4 the 1st time & he was a dead lay, I would tell him about it, now if he chose 2 continue 2 be a dead lay on the 2nd go round, he's got ta go...lol...

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RE: Honestly speaking - 10/26/2006 11:28:25 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		Assuming I managed to read the question correctly (not 100% certain, as it isn't actually written in English), what would be the point of staying in a purely sexual relationship where the sex is bad??

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RE: Honestly speaking - 10/27/2006 12:39:53 AM   
meatcleaver


Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

Assuming I managed to read the question correctly (not 100% certain, as it isn't actually written in English), what would be the point of staying in a purely sexual relationship where the sex is bad??


Absolute desperation and the thought it's the only way you are going to dip your wick.

Just a thought but I would think a wank is better.

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RE: Honestly speaking - 10/27/2006 2:13:24 AM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline
quote:

Just a thought but I would think a wank is better.

I would tend to agree

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RE: Honestly speaking - 10/27/2006 4:20:31 AM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesireDeeva

If ur only in a "sexual" relationship that's not so great because the other person is boring in bed, is it so wrong 2 be honest w/that person & just move on? or would u find other reasons 2 stay in the relationship?


I'll be honest about it. A simple "Hey, things in bed need to change" while showing a pulling out some sex books/videos should tell my point. After that, it's there move. If there's no effort to change and keep the sex interesting, then I move on to a relationship that will.

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RE: Honestly speaking - 10/27/2006 4:24:38 AM   
Kalira


Posts: 954
Joined: 10/9/2006
From: Fort Wayne Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesireDeeva

If ur only in a "sexual" relationship that's not so great because the other person is boring in bed, is it so wrong 2 be honest w/that person & just move on? or would u find other reasons 2 stay in the relationship?

Hmm, I would think that this was a no-brainer

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RE: Honestly speaking - 10/27/2006 6:53:29 PM   
DesireDeeva


Posts: 48
Joined: 10/5/2006
From: IN...livin in MI.
Status: offline 		Didn't know that I was being graded on "grammar" here,  yet others seem 2 be able 2  understand my question & that was my point... though some may think this is a no-brainer, most seem 2 have different opinions...

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RE: Honestly speaking - 10/27/2006 7:38:47 PM   
LTRsubNW


Posts: 1604
Joined: 5/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MizSuz

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesireDeeva

If ur only in a "sexual" relationship that's not so great because the other person is boring in bed, is it so wrong 2 be honest w/that person & just move on? or would u find other reasons 2 stay in the relationship?


When you say "only in a 'sexual' relationship" do you mean that the only thing the relationship is about is sex?  Or do you mean you're in a relationship that's important to you but the sex sucks?

It would seem that your investment would be higher in one than the other, but either way my next question would be - have you sat the boy down and told him what you want?  Maybe he doesn't know.  How are you at giving instructions?  Lots of guys just need a little direction and to learn to pay attention to you and your body and they kind of blossom sexually.

Barring all that, if it's inevitably unsatisfying (for whatever reason) then the answer is pretty clear.



(Damn, you spell things out well).

< Message edited by LTRsubNW -- 10/27/2006 7:41:03 PM >

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