Dom/me availability? (Full Version)

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shadevarr -> Dom/me availability? (10/23/2006 6:56:00 PM)

I see several threads every week about how there are not enough Dommes to even come close to taking care of all the male subbies but I have yet to see it with Doms and femsubs. Why is this?  Please try to refrain from throwing around baseless D/s ratios.




LTRsubNW -> RE: Dom/me availability? (10/23/2006 6:58:51 PM)

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mnottertail -> RE: Dom/me availability? (10/23/2006 7:04:17 PM)

We may not define it that close to the bone out here, if someone wants to throw around baseless ratios they pretty much will by god do it.

It has been my experience that subs and slaves  of any  ilk  far  outnumber  dominants.  Male or female.  From there it is simply a matter of meshing, and herein lies the rub.There may be as big a chasm between subs and Doms (of any sex) as there is between muslims and jews.

Never mind whether they are fake or real or any other adverb on the spectrum of human speech.........................

There is a few percentage points more women then men in the world..............

the divorce rate is 50% give or take..............

Should be an even distribution, but human foible skews the shit out of it.

Without meaningless comparison and air jordan statistics I am afraid I must stop here.

Ron  




DiurnalVampire -> RE: Dom/me availability? (10/23/2006 7:10:19 PM)

Actually, I have always just assumed that we hear more male subs complaining about the lack of Dommes available than we do femsubs.  Simple as that.  In vanilla dating, it tends to be the same, more men looking than women interested, so in the D/s arena it shouldnt be a surprise that it might be the same. As to ratios and numbers, since I have no desire to put th ework into getting actual statistics on a subject like this, I'l stick simply to what I see. 

DV




mstrjx -> RE: Dom/me availability? (10/23/2006 7:27:18 PM)

Here's my take.  Any female submissive will tell you that she gets TONS of emails from Dominant men.

We also know that there is generally a larger ratio of men interested in 'whatever' sort of dating than women.

These facts would have you believe that there are far more male dominants than female submissives.

But, if you were to remove the users, abusers, wannabes, and the like, from both genders, you would 'lose' a tremendous amount of men, and I would believe a fewer amount of women, such that.............

There are probably few 'quality' dominant men available to submissive women.  Probably along the same lines as submissive men to dominant women (again once you threw out those who are not authentic).

I might add that part of this is because it is 'easier' to be submissive, given a choice.

Jeff




juliaoceania -> RE: Dom/me availability? (10/23/2006 7:47:26 PM)

quote:

There are probably few 'quality' dominant men available to submissive women.  Probably along the same lines as submissive men to dominant women (again once you threw out those who are not authentic).


I highlighted this because I would wonder what happens when you reduce the number of submissives by those who get online velcro collars, are married, have emotional instability problems, and see D/s as a way to get a car payment? I would say that would cull the submissive herd quite a bit.

On to the OP's points....

I think that most women would be intimidated by joining adult personals sites. There are a brave few of us that try it on for size and close our profiles rather quickly when inundated with mail. There are an even more select few that keep a profile and seek to go through abusive emails, emails that objectify us, emails that denigrate us rather than go the eharmony route. Now this translates to less female submissives that sign up for this online than would attend a real life munch? I do not know the answer to that. It just seems when the idea of kinky sex is thrown out there like so much bait men tend to go a little ape-shit.

What this means to you? I do not know if it will mean anything...smiles




MasterFireMaam -> RE: Dom/me availability? (10/23/2006 7:59:28 PM)

Well, one could put forth that, in the het world, good men are simply hard to find, not matter what Ds orientation. Not sure how accurate that statement IS, but one COULD say it. LOL

I think that it's simply the same kind of thing as why bars have ladies' night. What reason do you think THAT is?

Master Fire




diamonddreamlove -> RE: Dom/me availability? (10/23/2006 8:09:41 PM)

Jeff You did not really say it is easier to be submissive and mean it did You?




Aubre -> RE: Dom/me availability? (10/23/2006 8:12:25 PM)

Maybe we could increase the numbers by using multi-level marketing techniques ala Amway. Each person get 6 vanilla people indoctrinated into the scene, and they each get 6, and so on and so forth.




subjected2006 -> RE: Dom/me availability? (10/23/2006 8:16:43 PM)

no,he did not mean it like the way it sounds i'm sure..




mstrjx -> RE: Dom/me availability? (10/23/2006 8:32:41 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: diamonddreamlove

Jeff You did not really say it is easier to be submissive and mean it did You?


Why not?  To dominate requires accepting a greater level of responsibility, if you are planning on being thought of in a good light, i.e. NOT a user.  Taken to the extreme, an 'owner' has to (except for the factor of self-preservation) take responsibility for both beings in totality.  There is far, FAR more work involved.

To submit allows one to have the freedom to have another make the decisions, set the scene, do whatever.  They don't need to think through everything, they simply (and I do find that this IS simple) obey and serve in the manner that is expected of them.

Yes, submission is an easier road.  Not to say 'lazy', but easy.

Jeff




MasterFireMaam -> RE: Dom/me availability? (10/23/2006 8:33:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aubre

Maybe we could increase the numbers by using multi-level marketing techniques ala Amway. Each person get 6 vanilla people indoctrinated into the scene, and they each get 6, and so on and so forth.


Oh GOD...you SO don't know how funny that is to me....yeah...I'll admit it...I once was an Amway distributor...I didn't inhale...I swear.

Master Fire




juliaoceania -> RE: Dom/me availability? (10/23/2006 8:35:09 PM)

Well that line of thought says I am not responsible for anything, and sorry, that just is not true. I am responsible for a great many things in my relationship and in my life... my submissiveness does not negate my personal responsibilty to my Daddy or to others.




mstrjx -> RE: Dom/me availability? (10/23/2006 8:47:34 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Well that line of thought says I am not responsible for anything, and sorry, that just is not true. I am responsible for a great many things in my relationship and in my life... my submissiveness does not negate my personal responsibilty to my Daddy or to others.


You might think I'm going out on a limb here.  Personally, I don't.

I would gently suggest that you are confusing responsibility for obedience.  When you allow your Dom/Master a portion of you via your submission, then he is taking responsibility for that aspect of your life.  Your carrying out that aspect, again to repeat what I said earlier not in a lazy fashion, as his wishes.  You might be responsible to him, but he controls that portion.  If you should fail or be deficient, then it is akin to saying that he failed, as it was his responsibility for your action.

In the case of a submissive versus a slave where there are still portions of their life that they have not given control of that aspect, then they still retain their own responsibilities for whatever that aspect dictates.

I hope this is making some semblance of sense.

Jeff





juliaoceania -> RE: Dom/me availability? (10/23/2006 9:07:36 PM)

I think that difficulty of the task would be dependent on the individuals involved. Sometimes it is harder to carry out a task, takes more thought, more ingenuity, more creative thinking than mindlessly ordering others around... not that my Daddy does this, he doesn't. It seems a logical fallacy to assume one thing follows another... One person orders another to complete a task and is responsible for it, the other person is responsible to the person that ordered the task and must complete it.. unless the person is micromanaged in this endeavor to the point of not being able to take any credit for its accomplishment it really seems hard to determine who has it "harder"




Aubre -> RE: Dom/me availability? (10/23/2006 9:41:06 PM)

Sigh - me too MasterFireMaam, me too.




HarryVanWinkle -> RE: Dom/me availability? (10/23/2006 10:02:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: shadevarr

Please try to refrain from throwing around baseless D/s ratios.


Baseless D/s ratios?

Here's a non-baseless ratio.  Go to the collarme home page.  Under search options, click "Any" in all catagories.  Count how many of the thirty profiles you see are for women.  There's a ratio for you.




Lordandmaster -> RE: Dom/me availability? (10/23/2006 10:33:32 PM)

Ummm...

I'm not sure I understand the question, and no one is ever going to give a definitive answer because there has never been a d/s census, but in my experience there are many more femsubs than male doms.

Or, to be excruciatingly precise: there may be all kinds of male doms, but there are some who attract many femsubs, and a bunch of other male doms who attract none.

quote:

ORIGINAL: shadevarr

I see several threads every week about how there are not enough Dommes to even come close to taking care of all the male subbies but I have yet to see it with Doms and femsubs. Why is this?

Please try to refrain from throwing around baseless D/s ratios.




shadevarr -> RE: Dom/me availability? (10/23/2006 11:00:37 PM)

As you suggested, I got a ratio of 1:5 from that sample. This has a basis that is viewable and as factual as anything can be relating to this site specifically. Anyone done Dom/sub headcounts at munches that can contribute. For clarification, what I meant as baseless is numbers that have no actual evidence to back them. Like the 100 male subs for each Domme on collarme that prompted me to add that line in my query.




shadevarr -> RE: Dom/me availability? (10/23/2006 11:04:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Ummm...

I'm not sure I understand the question, and no one is ever going to give a definitive answer because there has never been a d/s census, but in my experience there are many more femsubs than male doms.

Or, to be excruciatingly precise: there may be all kinds of male doms, but there are some who attract many femsubs, and a bunch of other male doms who attract none.

quote:

ORIGINAL: shadevarr

I see several threads every week about how there are not enough Dommes to even come close to taking care of all the male subbies but I have yet to see it with Doms and femsubs. Why is this?

Please try to refrain from throwing around baseless D/s ratios.

 LAM, that is why I wanted it discussed. The main part though is why are the male subs more vocal about the dominant "shortage" than their female counterparts?




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