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how to be "safe" when first submitting ? - 10/18/2006 9:22:31 AM

lovetokissnylons

Posts: 117
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Hi, i'm about to cross from the realm of fantasy into real time meetings with a Domme -- maybe as early as next week -- and was given very good advice, i think, in a Mistress-oriented chat room here at collarme.com: that was, to be sure that i kept safety and security in mind when i entered into real-time activities. May i please ask those of you who HAVE been in the lifestyle for some tips on this subject? What does this mean in practice ? Some things may be "obvious" (such as not venturing into "unsafe" parts of town after dark) but what may be obvious to you all is not so obvious to me, a beginner. Any advice, please ? Thank you. Saul.

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RE: how to be "safe" when first submitting ? - 10/18/2006 9:32:09 AM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
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http://www.wizdomme.com/infopack/safety101.shtml

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(in reply to lovetokissnylons)

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RE: how to be "safe" when first submitting ? - 10/18/2006 9:53:08 AM

lovetokissnylons

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Thank You so much, Ms. Pandora. More wise words, even though 10 years old or more.

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RE: how to be "safe" when first submitting ? - 10/18/2006 10:01:56 AM

raiken

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If you have common sense, listen to it. If you trust yourself, then trust the warnings you feel from your gut, don't ignore them, and act accordingly.

(in reply to lovetokissnylons)

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RE: how to be "safe" when first submitting ? - 10/18/2006 10:58:14 AM

MisPandora

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From: Philadelphia, PA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lovetokissnylons

Thank You so much, Ms. Pandora. More wise words, even though 10 years old or more.

Safety has an expiration date? Wow, I didn't know.

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Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

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RE: how to be "safe" when first submitting ? - 10/18/2006 11:25:27 AM

lovetokissnylons

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Didn't mean to imply that 10 year old advice was out of date or had a time limit. But i agree that what i said didn't sound too bright. Sorry, Pandora, Ma'am.

(in reply to MisPandora)

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RE: how to be "safe" when first submitting ? - 10/18/2006 11:53:41 AM

MagiksSlave

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Joined: 9/11/2006
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Aww Miss Padora Ma'am cut the guy a break he's new!!!

And if I may add in my .02 I would advise haveing coffie in a crouded resturand some where open or something, and I know its exiteing but dont be in a rush to play I personaly dont think its wise to play on a first meet!!

Magik's slave

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RE: how to be "safe" when first submitting ? - 10/18/2006 11:55:07 AM

MisPandora

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From: Philadelphia, PA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

Aww Miss Padora Ma'am cut the guy a break he's new!!!

And if I may add in my .02 I would advise haveing coffie in a crouded resturand some where open or something, and I know its exiteing but dont be in a rush to play I personaly dont think its wise to play on a first meet!!

Magik's slave

That WAS one of the advisories on that site:
"Do not plan to play during your initial meeting. You should have plenty to discuss, without sex or D/s play entering into the equation."

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Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

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RE: how to be "safe" when first submitting ? - 10/18/2006 6:05:17 PM

MagiksSlave

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HEHE ok Ma'am!! I didnt read the site thats just something I always practised when first meeting no people is all.

Magik's slave

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If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to MisPandora)

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RE: how to be "safe" when first submitting ? - 10/18/2006 7:22:38 PM

thetammyjo

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Have a safe call set up -- this is a prearrange phone call you make to someone who knows where you are. The phone call basically says "I'm ok, I'm doing fine" and if it does not come at the prearrange time, the police are called.

Sound extreme?

Not really, it's called being very safe.

Before I meet with someone for the first time I tell them that I have a safe call arranged and ask if they have one set up as well -- if they don't, I tell the, they need to arrange for one. If they should up to a meeting and haven't arranged said safe call, I leave them at the restaurant where we met with a comment about how they are lucky I'm not an axe murderer.

Another simple safety step is to not scene with someone on that first meeting in a public place. Just don't. I don't care how intense you feel the chemistry is or how much she/he wants to take you home or to a hotel, you are the only person who can protect yourself so keep it under control and don't scene.

Now I'm sure that folks will say I'm being overly cautious and tell you all sorts of wonderful stories about how they had no safe call and scene withint an hour of meeting someone. They got lucky.

Personally I value myself and anyone I'd scene with more than just counting on "luck".

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RE: how to be "safe" when first submitting ? - 10/18/2006 7:32:07 PM

Noah

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Joined: 7/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lovetokissnylons

Hi, i'm about to cross from the realm of fantasy into real time meetings with a Domme -- maybe as early as next week -- and was given very good advice, i think, in a Mistress-oriented chat room here at collarme.com: that was, to be sure that i kept safety and security in mind when i entered into real-time activities. May i please ask those of you who HAVE been in the lifestyle for some tips on this subject? What does this mean in practice ? Some things may be "obvious" (such as not venturing into "unsafe" parts of town after dark) but what may be obvious to you all is not so obvious to me, a beginner. Any advice, please ? Thank you. Saul.

Oh come on. This is no place for closed-mindedness. How do you know you won't enjoy a really unsafe first meeting if you don't at least give it a try?

(in reply to lovetokissnylons)

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RE: how to be "safe" when first submitting ? - 10/18/2006 9:01:27 PM

demistress

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Joined: 4/24/2006
From: Dela-where?
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Alternatively, find a reputable local dungeon where your session can be overseen, or have someone you trust along with you for your safety. Have a codeword that only your companion and not your dom knows, so that if you use the safeword and play does not stop, you can scream the code word. I personally allow subs I know to introduce me to their new doms, and if I'm comfortable with them, and wish to use my space to scene in, I will do so, and oversee, or just listen from upstairs, the scene. Generally I charge about $20/hr for this service, which is both safer, and cheaper than renting a hotel anyway :)

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