RE: Is this asking too much? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message

zenfull2 -> RE: Is this asking too much? (9/28/2006 5:57:32 AM)

A lot of it would depend on the questions and some of it would depend on how I am feeling at the time of being asked.



pleazuredpain -> RE: Is this asking too much? (9/28/2006 6:00:16 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiningGem

So my question is............if You were interested in a sub/slave/switch.......and were asked to answer some questions(ok there are 22)..........or are a sub/slave/switch and the Dom/me asked you to fill one out.......would Y/you?
 
 
Just wondering if I am way off base here.
 
     gemmie


No, I would probably not answer them.  I would however answer questions in a conversing method.  Here by email, locally over a cup of coffee or dinner.  The questionaire would make me feel that we were discussing some 'sterile' procedure and not the chance of a relationship.  But that is only my take.




SweetSarijane -> RE: Is this asking too much? (9/28/2006 6:12:11 AM)

It's doubtful I would answer the questionnere. If a person can't take the time to talk with me and get to know me as a person, then honestly they are not worth my time.



MasterRobert1 -> RE: Is this asking too much? (9/28/2006 6:54:55 AM)

I'd have no problem answering questions. If I did refuse to answer questions, that would put me in the catagory of being a hypocrit, because I ask a LOT of questions. Trust is the very keystone of a BDSM D/s relationship. And trust is built on knowledge. If I'm not wqilling to answer questions, then I shouldn't expect someone to answer the questions I will most certainly be asking at some point.



Aubre -> RE: Is this asking too much? (9/28/2006 6:58:37 AM)

Do you like me? check yes _____ or no ______



tcl0712 -> RE: Is this asking too much? (9/28/2006 7:34:06 AM)

Personally, i would feel more comfortable answering questions back and forth.  Feeling out a questionaire would be a little awkward for me. 



MasterFireMaam -> RE: Is this asking too much? (9/28/2006 8:05:27 AM)

I'd be much more inclined to do it if the sub/slave shared their answers by sending them along with the blank from. I ask that my questionnaire be filled out when someone is interested in my household. I send answers AFTER they give me theirs. I suppose that means that I expect the sub/slave to make the first step towards establishing trust. That wouldn't change is the sub/slave was asking questions of me.

Of course, what you could do is simply ask one question per email. If they get through all 22 questions (meaning they've kept up communication for 22 emails), that's a decent start to something that might be worth pursuing.

Master Fire



toservez -> RE: Is this asking too much? (9/28/2006 8:15:24 AM)

In theory I think what you are asking for is fine with the catch all many have said and that depends on the questions. Though in reality if one of the very first things I got sent to me was a form of many generic questions to answer my reaction could very well be that I do not want to be treated like a job aplicant and that would come off as way too impersonal too soon. Are you helping your cause in getting rid of the "fakes" sure, but are you also eliminating possible matches as well?

Personally I think it would be better if you ask these questions over a series of messages. Actually I am a huge believer in asking questions for weeding out people, getting to know people and keeping the communication going. Too many people write such close ended messages that it is like getting your teeth pulled to talk to them.

Lin




jesskitty -> RE: Is this asking too much? (9/28/2006 8:17:24 AM)

if you truly are interested in someone, and know how men or women or both act on here at times, i think it wouldn't be a problem! lots of times when i explain i don't give my im out to random people or why i do or act a certain way relating it to the nasties on this site i will get a response such as i'm sorry for doing that i won't do it again and then when i try to respond i'm blocked by the user..i think yours is pretty much doing the same thing, these people i think have the mindset of a child, they want it and they want it now and not have to worry about real life complications or getting to know someone..so i think it's weeding out the people you want to weed out. i say keep it!



Frank01 -> RE: Is this asking too much? (9/28/2006 8:22:05 AM)

Just how much transparency do you expect in a first exchange?



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Is this asking too much? (9/28/2006 9:29:39 AM)

FR

I find questionairres useful on a second date as a way to get to know EACHOTHER and have fun going through lists and sharing experiences.  I don't find them useful in the way that you are using them and I wouldn't be interested in someone who wanted me to fill it out after just chatting once.



thisishis -> RE: Is this asking too much? (9/28/2006 9:33:16 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiningGem
So my question is............if You were interested in a sub/slave/switch.......and were asked to answer some questions(ok there are 22)..........or are a sub/slave/switch and the Dom/me asked you to fill one out.......would Y/you?
i'd have no issue with answering any number of questions of any type* in the form of a questionaire as long as they have no issue with returning the favor, and agree that it should only be used as a spring board of types to determine whether enough compatability exists to lead us on to the deeper waters of communicating in person and sans questionaires. 

*barring credit card info, where i hide the spare car/house keys, passwords to any of my online stuff, .... things of that nature..... etc ect ect



Amaros -> RE: Is this asking too much? (9/28/2006 10:05:54 AM)

I do hate personality tests, and consider them to be grossly and crudely misleading at best, but sure, why not? I'll play your silly game, it's not like I'm gonna get pigeonholed, right? [;)]

It's actually not a bad idea, I would tend to see it as an icebreaker of sorts, i.e., not precluding further conversation, that's just silly. And you might be able to get any major dealbreakers out of the way at the same time.

They are typcially crude things though, I'll check your out when I get a chance.

There's a dating community called OKcupid, where you can write your own tests, kinda  cool.



OhReallyNow -> RE: Is this asking too much? (9/28/2006 10:12:18 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiningGem

So I decided (with the help of my sub) to send a questionairre out to Those who semed interested,and asked that it be filled out to not only provide us with information about them but also as a safety precaution...............to help weed out the fakes and sexaholics...........
 
The responses have been less than flattering........a few said They wouldnt fill them out because it was demeaning.........I was even told that doing so showed I didnt trust them(well duh I don't know You).........and One was so kind as to tell me it was a waste of time because I apparently wasn't slave material for Him(well gee my profile does state that) .
 
So my question is............if You were interested in a sub/slave/switch.......and were asked to answer some questions(ok there are 22)..........or are a sub/slave/switch and the Dom/me asked you to fill one out.......would Y/you?
 
 
Just wondering if I am way off base here.
 
     gemmie

in the first weeks that this slave first started corresponding with Master, our conversation could have been seen as a form of 'question and answer' session to determine if what we both wanted and were looking for COULD be found in the other.
 
Granted, if Master had just out of the blue,sent to this slave a questionaire, she most probably would have just deleted it and never given it another thought.
 
So, to answer your question directly, NO, this slave would not have filled it out.



Amaros -> RE: Is this asking too much? (9/28/2006 12:34:41 PM)

Oops!



cheekysmile -> RE: Is this asking too much? (9/28/2006 1:02:45 PM)

if i was given a questionair to fill out id do so, and if by chance id find a question i felt too personal at that time id say so on the reply and ask to come back to that at a later date when id feel more comfortable with it.....but in all id do all this respectfully, hopeing id be pleaseing in the persons eye.
 
does that help??
 
cheeky



ShiningGem -> RE: Is this asking too much? (9/28/2006 1:16:35 PM)

I am honestly greateful for all the replies...........and I have tohught about breaking them down into a series of questions.........I dont hand it to just anyone who contacts me (unless they ask for it as I did post I have one in my journal)...........this  is something that would be asked for further clarification after talking several times..........
 
I have been asked to fill out more in depth "limits" lists......so to me this is basically the same thing.
 
Thanks to everyone who has replied.........



juliaoceania -> RE: Is this asking too much? (9/28/2006 2:19:43 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

FR

I find questionairres useful on a second date as a way to get to know EACHOTHER and have fun going through lists and sharing experiences.  I don't find them useful in the way that you are using them and I wouldn't be interested in someone who wanted me to fill it out after just chatting once.


I remember as a novice going through such a list with my former dominant, and it was the first time I had ever even heard of some of these things... he was asking me "Is this really a limit?" Or saying "I do not understand why that is a limit, will you explain?" and finally he said "If you are going to control the scene through limits that is negating any future D/s dynamic we can build" (I do not agreee with him by the way)

So when it was all done, I got really whiney and really defensive and he asked me what what wrong. Mind you we had not scened yet...and I replied "Are you going to cut me, burn me, beat me, and abrade me all on the first date or what?" He laughed so hard.



ToGiveDivine -> RE: Is this asking too much? (9/28/2006 2:26:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: toservez

... like getting your teeth pulled ....

Lin




I've never seen a checkbox for that particular fetish either :-D



WhyteRavenne -> RE: Is this asking too much? (9/28/2006 2:32:45 PM)

Maybe breaking it down to a few questions at a time.. make it more personal, might help.



Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.046875