|
LTRsubNW -> RE: Okay...I'm about to talk about being single... (9/28/2006 6:15:11 AM)
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: MizSuz
quote:
ORIGINAL: Silvermoon
Just one thing? WHO said it's good to be single? I'd like to shoot them myself.
That would be me.
1. No, I don't have to deal with anyone or anything pissing on the seat. Why? Because I'm the only one that uses it and I don't piss on the seat (or the floor next to the seat, or the tank behind the seat).
2. No, I don't have to keep track of anyone's keys but my own.
3. No, I don't give a damn what you're having for dinner or how you get it.
4. I don't give a rat's ass where you put your socks, as long as they're not on the floor in my house, left over in my dryer, or stinkin' up my hamper.
5. Have all the gas you want and expel it any way that works best for you - somewhere other than in my house.
6. I can replace the light bulb or the electrical socket, as needed, all by myself (I have a multimeter and know how to use it, too). I can sweat that broken copper pipe or install pvc as needed. I can hang, tape, finish and paint sheetrock and greenboard without you, thanks anyway.
7. Snore all you need to, I'll be blissfully asleep in my own bed (where you won't be).
8. I'll hang my own pictures and blinds - I have a better eye for level without need of gadgets anyway.
9. If I put the vacuum cleaner together out of the box I will read the directions and I won't miss a screw (thereby rendering the vacuum worthless).
You can, however, come by my house and take out the garbage and clean the litter box, but you'll have to leave before pumpkin time or I'm likely to gut you and make a pie out of your ass.
To quote my mother (who used this saying to encourage me not to have premarital sex), "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"
Any vacuum cleaner that requires more than double back sponge tape to assemble, was a flawed design in the first place.
|
|
|
|
