RE: subs in control

RE: subs in control (Full Version)

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amuzingtoyou -> RE: subs in control (9/21/2006 8:56:39 AM)
the power is in both the submissive and dominant. How and when the power is exhanged reminds me of a dance. It is give and take on both sides. One leads, and one follows. Occasionally there might be misteps, or stepped on toes. Or perhaps someones step is off, but then the dance begins again. I don't believe anyone person holds the power more than the other.

akisha -> RE: subs in control (9/21/2006 9:56:57 AM)
I'm a control freak in pretty much all other aspects of my life. I have calmed down alot since I had my little one but on a whole i like (need) to now what is going on, when and where. How things are going to be done, (preferably my way). I run a semi strict budget so that everything that needs to be paid is and on time. I have a scheduler that i input all appointments and such on usually running two months in advance. Now, this is for my work and for organizing the little one and myself on most things. By submitting I get the balance my life requires by not having to be in control of everything. I am free to give up complete control to another. Right now I am not in a 24/7 live in situation or owned, so I only get to relinquish control every once in a while but it does still help to balance out my life. You'll find that alot of subs are control freaks in thier "outside" life, it's the relinquishing of that control for other aspects of their lives that keeps them sane.

PlayfulOne -> RE: subs in control (9/21/2006 10:33:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: dungengod Are not sub really the control freaks ????? Is not the power all theirs to give or to take away ???do not us doms just play at control ?? For without their consent we have no one to dominate and if a sub want to be punish they just play up till we give them what they want (much to our enjoyment lol) tell me what you think x Sure if you let them act up to get what they want, your not in control. I do not enjoy someone acting up to be punished, I would be perfectly happy to never need to punish or correct someone. If somone pushed me to that they would be in for a rude awakening. How about you try this, instead of giving them the spanking they goaded you into, slap them in a hogtie and throw them into the back yard shed for an hour or so . Then they can either straighten their act up or control themselves right out the door. Hows that for playing at control? Sure she can have her power back when ever she wants it, but there are also consequences to that, biggest one being that she would suddenly find herself unowned. My question to you is , "What are you doing wrong that they want their power back?" This does seem like a strange line of thought from someone titled "dungeongod" K

Dnomyar -> RE: subs in control (9/21/2006 12:33:10 PM)
If one person does not have power or control then how can you have a relationship. What would be the purpose of being a Dom/Domme?

TemptingNviceSub -> RE: subs in control (9/21/2006 4:15:42 PM)
I have always viewed it this way..IMO..the submissive has the power but the Dominant has the control...one without the other is nothing..simply that..nothing...Tempting

OhReallyNow -> RE: subs in control (9/21/2006 4:28:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: dungengod Are not sub really the control freaks ????? Is not the power all theirs to give or to take away ???do not us doms just play at control ?? For without their consent we have no one to dominate and if a sub want to be punish they just play up till we give them what they want (much to our enjoyment lol) tell me what you think x when this slave offered herself to Master, she gave up ALL control in every aspect. Master decides when, where, if and why he takes a strap to this slave. Master decides when, where, if and why this slave sits on the couch next to him or kneels at his feet. This slave did not give up her control lightly, it was done after much thought and debate. When she did though, she did it fully, not by halves. And furthermore, this slave will not, and can not take it back unless master decides to give it back to her. *This slave would not want it any other way. Master does not just control me; he OWNS me. Mind, heart, body and soul; totally, completly, and without doubt [:)]*

KnightofMists -> RE: subs in control (9/21/2006 5:54:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: dungengod Are not sub really the control freaks ????? some are and some are not...... not alot different that Dominants... I do not equate Control as being the domain of the Dominant. In my opinion... it really depends on what you are controlling. quote: Is not the power all theirs to give or to take away ??? well yes they can give or take away there power all the want... but that is there power... they don't decide what I do with mine. As a Dominant I can give or take away my power as well. I have different view on the D/s concept compared to most. Many are wrapped into that concept that a submissive gives their power to the Dominant. I don't buy that and never will. In my opinion we each have a power of self that is given into the relationship. In effect... the power of those in the relationship is melded together. I don't see it as an exchange but as a melding and a Power Enhancement. quote: do not us doms just play at control ?? some do... it's why I have the opinion that some live an illusion of D/s... but some do not. quote: For without their consent we have no one to dominate and if a sub want to be punish they just play up till we give them what they want (much to our enjoyment lol) tell me what you think x And without our consent they have no one to dominate them. Consent is mutual not just one way... many seem to forget that fact.

BrokenDoll -> RE: subs in control (9/21/2006 6:01:35 PM)
Ok if you really need to disect things like that then yes at the very core the sub slave is the on that ultametly in controll as their controll comes from their consent BUT ones they have consented to a Master that they are giveing their controll to them takeing that controll back usualy means the end of the relationship.

LotusSong -> RE: subs in control (9/21/2006 6:09:00 PM)
OK.. "dom" yourself and see how you like it.

Sinergy -> RE: subs in control (9/21/2006 6:11:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub I have always viewed it this way..IMO..the submissive has the power but the Dominant has the control...one without the other is nothing..simply that..nothing...Tempting Hello A/all, I disagree. I have my own personal power. I worked hard for it and I earned it. My submissive has her own personal power. My submissive enjoys me controlling her, I enjoy controlling her. We exchange power with each other making the individual more powerful than they are without the other person in their life. Otherwise we are each spending our time holding on to the other person's sword arm. Just me, etc. Sinergy

mstrjx -> RE: subs in control (9/21/2006 6:13:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sinergy We exchange power with each other making the individual more powerful than they are without the other person in their life. Sinergy Let me see, high school science..... two thing brought together being greater than the sum of their parts...... Isn't that synergy?

justheather -> RE: subs in control (9/21/2006 6:22:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: dungengod Are not sub really the control freaks ????? Ya know, it just occurred to me to pay attention to this term "control freaks"...used here in the OP (and enlarged thanks to OhReallyNow, thanks OhReally :-) ) as if either the Dom or the Sub has to be 'the one who is the control freak]. I would not describe my Daddy as a "control freak". I do not believe he would describe me as a "control freak" either. It's just not the way either of us approaches the Universe.

Frank01 -> RE: subs in control (9/21/2006 6:38:13 PM)
There is no power-only what we choose to share with each other.

sublizzie -> RE: subs in control (9/21/2006 7:00:49 PM)
I wouldn't say that I am a control freak. I'm kinda freaky in wanting to be controlled though. Does that count?

LordODiscipline -> RE: subs in control (9/21/2006 7:22:10 PM)
*You can "play at" anything you desire - and, apparently you do (from your writing and inference) -* *But, the fact is,* *in a dominantion/submission relational dynamic,* *one person dominates -* *the other submits.* *If you have to wonder who is in charge* *and who is playing games,* *then you are definitively not doing something correctly -* *and/or - you are definitively playing games with the relationship you are in.* *I am not sure where that is cloudy,* *or,* *where any sort of rhetoric that may be spewed* *by weak kneed* *self flaggelating apologists* *for "who they are"* *dominants* *can possibly 'ding' that logic.* *You are either dominant in your relationship - or, you are not dominant in your relationship* *No matter what you would call it and yourself.* ~J

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: subs in control (9/21/2006 8:00:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LordODiscipline You are either dominant in your relationship - or, you are not dominant in your relationship No matter what you would call it and yourself. ~J Or you're both :)

Frank01 -> RE: subs in control (9/21/2006 8:02:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross quote: ORIGINAL: LordODiscipline You are either dominant in your relationship - or, you are not dominant in your relationship No matter what you would call it and yourself. ~J Or you're both :) And usually at the same time. Which amuses the HELL outa me.

TemptingNviceSub -> RE: subs in control (9/21/2006 9:22:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sinergy quote: ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub I have always viewed it this way..IMO..the submissive has the power but the Dominant has the control...one without the other is nothing..simply that..nothing...Tempting Hello A/all, I disagree. I have my own personal power. I worked hard for it and I earned it. My submissive has her own personal power. My submissive enjoys me controlling her, I enjoy controlling her. We exchange power with each other making the individual more powerful than they are without the other person in their life. Otherwise we are each spending our time holding on to the other person's sword arm. Just me, etc. Sinergy Very nicely put Sinergy...I will be thinking on this viewpoint....Tempting

GentleDominantx2 -> RE: subs in control (9/22/2006 12:09:03 AM)
don't have the time for games. they want to play them they can find another Dom to do it with.

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