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LadyEllen -> RE: Going nuts on a forum.... (9/20/2006 3:10:07 AM)
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ricar00 expressed the whys very well I think (good first post BTW!).
We're probably all subject to hanging our hopes on someone to some extent when they choose to interact with us, but I think especially for men with all that testosterone running around inside them, they tend to do it a lot more readily because of the manic urge that puts in them, seeing contact from any woman as the chance to fulfill their desires which then overwhelm them.
And then, especially sub males will conflate their image of their ideal woman with you, and on top of that fantasize endlessly about you, how wonderful and goddesslike you are - often all based on a screen name and a few typewritten messages.
In short, they put such an emotional investment into the idea of you as their ideal, that if and when rejection comes, it hurts them a lot, and all that sexual energy they projected at you turns rapidly into aggressive energy and they start behaving like asses. You are no longer their ideal, wonderful Goddess because you wont fulfill their fantasies, and how ever submissive he might have been to his Goddess, you aint her any more, so he can treat you any way he likes - and obviously with his bubble burst, you're a liar and a fake to boot!
In this regard, I find it interesting that what drives their sexuality is the same thing that drives their aggression - namely, testosterone, so its hardly any wonder they replace desire with anger so easily. And knowing one certain man, I can see in him how his sexual desire is combined with aggression - not in a bad way I hasten to add!
E
quote:
ORIGINAL: ricar00
<<<I have found that it does not take long for this type of venomous person to show their true colors during the screening process. Typically it comes within a very short time, such as the first time you tell them you are not interested in a particular activity, or won't call them immediately, or some other simple thing... >>>
I am new to the discussion groups, so i hope this goes okay. I think a lot of males, especially, are desperate to find someone to either fulfil their fantasies or satisfy their needs. So when someone has the possibility of satisfying what they need, but don't go along or says no, etc their anger erupts. i don't believe it has to do with finding a target or purposely trying to be abusive or mean.
At the same time, i am not condoning the behavior and think patience and control and respect are deserved.
ricar00
Not vanilla, but don't know how to change the heading
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