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AAkasha -> RE: Shopping mall trips? (9/8/2006 10:17:21 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: GirlyDevil Thank you to all for the responses. He's a little shy and very new to this so I want to ease him into it. I've already told him that he is to buy my a new outfit for our party next week and he agreed. So it should be fun Just making a guy pay for your stuff isn't being dominant. If done insensitively, it can make him feel like you are using him. Unless he has a fetish for being forced to buy things for women (and many men do have this fantasy), be careful of relying too much on "oh, and you have to pay, because you are the sub" mantra. In my opinion, making anything a "femdom experience" has more to do with attitude than acts. Do you want to "pretend" to be the femdom while shopping, or do you want to be it? Do you want to make sure you are doing the things that "make him feel submissive" or do you want to feel empowered? People have suggested things like making him carry the bags and open doors. Vanilla men do that quite often also. Some people will suggest adding humiliation or fear play into the game -- threatening to or taking him into a ladies dressing room (with permission from staff and respect to the others present, which is tough), making him try on lingerie. But unless *you* get off on that kind of button pushing, it's not quite the same. Go back to what in your core makes you want to be dominant. What pushes your buttons? Making a mundane mall trip into a femdom experience for me could vary greatly depending on what "mood" I was in. I might make a guy keep his hair wet the entire time, because somehow that "look" was getting me hot, and I wanted to be perpetually hot. I might make him walk innocently with his hands behind his back at all times, so I could pretend he was shackled. I might go to the gourmet candy store and take the sample and turn to him and demand, "Eat this. Open your mouth," and get off on his immediate reaction. The carrying of bags and opening doors is mundane. If I want to feel empowered, I have to cater to my own lust. Akasha
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