RE: Married seeking same...

RE: Married seeking same... (Full Version)

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Seeker706 -> RE: Married seeking same... (9/6/2006 3:03:21 PM)
Ah...... Would seem so...... If life were only so simple :)

Mavis -> RE: Married seeking same... (9/6/2006 7:23:05 PM)
LordnMaster... lol. well, yes. the idea of cautioning those who might be just in the seeking stage is just that.. cautions... pointing out possible pitfalls so they can have the most positive experiences. You know, and i think most of U/us know cautionary tales are just advice. Obviously even the best advice doesn't apply or work in all situations. Let's not pick it to death. W/we A/all have to "read into" a little bit, based on the posters history and previous statements. Do You honestly believe that i, or anyone else in this thread that has suggested various things work and somethings don't work as well.. really means do it my way or everything goes to hell in a hand-basket? naaah.

Lordandmaster -> RE: Married seeking same... (9/6/2006 8:58:01 PM)
Yeah, I don't have anything against pointing out the drawbacks of having a married lover. But the thing I'm mostly reacting to is the culture we seem to have here of blaming the big bad married male dom. You see it everywhere. When TWO partners have a relationship, BOTH are responsible for what happens, including whatever heartache they end up feeling.

puella -> RE: Married seeking same... (9/6/2006 9:34:42 PM)
Yeah, but you can not blame the vanilla wife(or hubby) for what she has no idea is happening ( ie... slave girl/boy on the side).

Lordandmaster -> RE: Married seeking same... (9/6/2006 9:44:46 PM)
I agree, but we weren't talking about the aggrieved and betrayed spouse. Besides, many, if not most, of the spouses really do know. I'm convinced of that. Sure, there are some married people who get online and think they'll be able to have a secret affair with someone and not tell their spouse. (And they're both male and female, by the way--I've talked to PLENTY of wives who thought they could be my slave and never tell their husband.) But how long does that last?

puella -> RE: Married seeking same... (9/6/2006 10:02:46 PM)
Oh I hear ya... a lying cheating loser is the same in any sex or position (top or bottom).

Lordandmaster -> RE: Married seeking same... (9/6/2006 10:11:39 PM)
Hey, that reminds me--what the hell ever happened to my seigneurie?

mnottertail -> RE: Married seeking same... (9/6/2006 10:29:27 PM)
By dint of happenstance, I will have to second the man, I have drank the cognac (many times in fact) all that is left is hoistings of petards and chambre du ................surrender of the castle.....thingie, what is that word? I thought this was done, non fait accompli? Mon dieu........catastrophisch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

gentlethistle -> RE: Married seeking same... (9/6/2006 10:43:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SaphireLynn ... now to those that are married and try to hide it from the spouse, why would We want you?... you can not be truthful and faithful to your spouse, why would We expect you to be faithful to Us?... you are a proven cheater and liar... Because life (and people) are more complex than slogans? Because if we discarded from our lives everyone who had ever lied or 'cheated on' someone then....well, I just think the world would be a lonely place, populated only by a few small pockets of tedious piety... Laura

SweetDommes -> RE: Married seeking same... (9/6/2006 11:21:25 PM)
I don't think that SaphireLynn was saying that we should "discard from our lives everyone who had ever lied or cheated on someone" but that it is unwise to be in a relationship of that nature with them. And I agree with her. I can be friends with someone who cheats, as long as they don't ask my opinion of it - just like I'm friends with people who think that our being poly and/or into BDSM is horrible, so we don't discuss it with them. I can still be friends with them even if I don't approve ... but I won't assist them in cheating, and I make that clear. However, after being unwillingly involved in 2 different guys' cheating (one as the unsuspecting 'other woman' and one as the clueless SO - and yes, I was honestly clueless until Holly told me what she and rob found on the computer) - I will not condone or enable cheaters. I won't be a part of their cheating. It hurt greatly from both sides when I found out - although being the clueless SO was definitely worse. I was horrified when I got a message from the wife of a guy on here ... and devistated when I saw the conversations that allen had been having with 5 other women (over the course of 2 weeks ... hadn't been going on for very long, but it was quite extensive, obviously). When people are open and honest about things, then yay for them ... that's basically what we have, only we are looking for everyone to live together rather than two connected households like others we have talked to. The problem comes when someone is deliberately decieving someone that they have claimed to love - that they have made a commitment to. There are always other options - they may not be pleasant, but at least they are more honest.

puella -> RE: Married seeking same... (9/7/2006 3:17:33 AM)
sniffle sniffle... Well it would seem I have to add Crappy to the long list of men who quite simply do not want me... no wedding, no wedding night, no droite du seigneur.... damn it!

LotusSong -> RE: Married seeking same... (9/7/2006 5:54:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mavis W/we A/all have to "read into" a little bit, based on the posters history and previous statements. Do You honestly believe that i, or anyone else in this thread that has suggested various things work and somethings don't work as well.. really means do it my way or everything goes to hell in a hand-basket? naaah. Mavis, Thanks for your support. I'm glad you understood what I was saying. I'm not a real wordy person , so I santize what I have to say to as few a words as I can, it comes accross as abrupt- but at least you do't have to sift through the fluff. I just see so many singles connect with a "trainer" or some other helpful but unavailable dominants then get attached and get lost in the fantasy. My post was more of a "headsup- have you thought of this" possibility- for discussion.

Lordandmaster -> RE: Married seeking same... (9/7/2006 9:53:07 AM)
Well make sure you let me know before you get hitched again! quote: ORIGINAL: puella sniffle sniffle... Well it would seem I have to add Crappy to the long list of men who quite simply do not want me... no wedding, no wedding night, no droite du seigneur.... damn it!

rockboy50 -> RE: Married seeking same... (9/7/2006 10:43:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SaphireLynn If you are married and the spouce knows that you need this and allows you to do it then I say go for it... now to those that are married and try to hide it from the spouce why would We want you... you can not be truthful and faithful to your spouce why would We expect you to be faithful to Us... you are a proven cheater and lier... I understand where you are coming from, and you have the moraL high ground. But you would debar many people, those who entered into vanilla relationships long ago, from experiencing the d/s bond.

MysticFireTopaz -> RE: Married seeking same... (9/7/2006 10:46:25 AM)
Personally, I have no objection to married people seeking a Dom/me or sub if they have their spouses consent and are honest about it with the people they are contacting. In My own case, I am seeking a slave who would also be My life partner. Since a married man already has one of those, he wouldn't be of interest to Me at all. If I were seeking something else, I might be open to a married male whose wife was aware of his interests and didn't mind his looking outside the relationship. The main thing that bothers Me is when the person doing the seeking is going behind their spouses's back in a deceitful and dishonest manner. Since you are being open and upfront about it and have your husband's encouragement, that isn't the case at all in your situation. Good luck in finding what you are seeking. I do hope you choose to remain on the site. There are a lot of nice people here. Lady Topaz

denika -> RE: Married seeking same... (9/8/2006 3:09:05 PM)
Khari definatly don't go away s I am in the same boat you and your husband are in. and like you we tried and it was just not in his nature to be a sadist. That is where Knight came in s I was very lucky in that the dynamic between all of us work well. Rob has a deep friendship with Knight so there is a level of trust in that he has no fears when I am with Him. We were very, very lucky in that we all connected so well. Rob and I also have a very strong relationship based on friendship and trust, we also started from the begining with an open mind as well as an open relationship. Talk, talk and talk some more and make sure that even if your husband isn't involved in the play he is comfortable about it. I've read some of the same post you have, the "It will never work, and there must be something wrong if they are looking outside the marriage" Well, it might not work for every one but it works for us and if you and he can keep he lines of communication open it might work for you both as well. It is hard at times but it's worth all the long conversations and emotional growth. good luck to you and don't give up or let anyone get you down!!! denika

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