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Slave asked to be released - 8/30/2006 12:11:33 PM   
LadyDarling


Posts: 2
Joined: 7/29/2006
Status: offline 		My boy recently came to me and confessed that he had gotten back together with his old girlfriend, whom he was still in love with, and asked to be released (we are long distance).  My heart is broken.  I know I have to let him go because it is what is right for him and I don't want him to stay with me if he doesn't want to be with me, but it still hurts.  Have you ever had a slave ask to be released before?  What did you do?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Slave asked to be released - 8/30/2006 12:31:08 PM   
MsKatHouston


Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline 		Easier said than done, I know but release him, heal and move on.  There are plenty of fish in the sea and there will be someone there for you eventually who will be perfect for you.  I'm sorry to hear about your pain and wish you well. 

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to LadyDarling)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Slave asked to be released - 8/30/2006 12:33:00 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyDarling
Have you ever had a slave ask to be released before?

Yes.

quote:

What did you do?

Let him go.

I will forever be grateful for having had slave jason in my life. I learned so much about myself by having him. I knew that the likelihood of a painful ending was high, given that he was in the Army and deployed. In my world, pain isn't necessarily something to avoid. It was absolutely, positively, unequivocally worth the risk and the pain.

Take time to feel the pain. Take time to review the memories. Take time to cry, scream and kick inanimate objects. Take time to look at what you have, and still can, learn from your relationship with him. And, have compassion for yourself if all these things take longer than you wish.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to LadyDarling)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Slave asked to be released - 8/30/2006 12:38:22 PM   
DivaZya


Posts: 103
Joined: 2/15/2005
Status: offline 		One better- about online distance relationships involving Mistress/slave.
After several months of increasingly intense words and what if situations  and phone calls exchanged, this slave boy begs to be owned, says he's all mine, wishes for a ritual and will be coming to meet with Me IRL inna week.. so I accept him, in front of a batch of chat room friends etc.
Then nothing for two days. I show up online and he's listed as a Dom and tells Me he just wanted to find out what it felt to be a submissive.
  Many guys want to test out their submissive bones and it's nothing to them to ditch when they hook up with a girl that will do what they want her to do.
  And yess, it hurt, but since I'm not the submissive or even switch type, I decided not to use up any more time or attention on those types, as My profile makes very clear.

  It helps to not limit yourself to one at a time, online at least.
Always the best Diva~Zya


_____________________________

~ D/s isn't based on fantasies- it may be motivated by them, but reality must be dealt with, and sometimes sharply! ~

(in reply to LadyDarling)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Slave asked to be released - 8/30/2006 12:58:51 PM   
LeatherRose


Posts: 62
Joined: 6/28/2005
Status: offline 		Yes, and it was with mutual agreement.  My circumstances were different than yours though.  We both have spouses, I am in a Dom/Dom couple, kinda hard.  He has a wife that is not only uber vanilla, but also very religious.  I will say this though, she recognized he needed an outlet and I did have her permission.  The problem was over time (2 years) she kept making her own hard limits and eventually I realised he didn't need me to be his mistress, he already had one and just didn't know it.
 
*shrug*
 
Live and learn.
 
Yes, it hurt, but now I realise how much she was actually stifling ME in not allowing me to do what I wanted to do. 
 
As my mom is always saying, this too shall pass.
 
And for goodness sakes don't give up looking, might want to look for real life hook ups and not online, but don't give up either way!
 
Be well,
 
LeatherRose

(in reply to LadyDarling)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Slave asked to be released - 8/30/2006 3:07:30 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		Yes and I let him go with well wishes for the future. He had been taking classes and hoping for a better job. He found one but in another state.

Now I've also had one person just leave and that took a huge emotional toll on my entire household.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to LadyDarling)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Slave asked to be released - 8/30/2006 5:16:38 PM   
MysticFireTopaz


Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyDarling
My boy recently came to me and confessed that he had gotten back together with his old girlfriend, whom he was still in love with, and asked to be released (we are long distance).  My heart is broken.  I know I have to let him go because it is what is right for him and I don't want him to stay with me if he doesn't want to be with me, but it still hurts.  Have you ever had a slave ask to be released before?  What did you do?


I am sorry to hear of your hurt. 
 
This has happened to Me a few times.  I had one submissive who wanted to be 24/7 with Me upon his graduation from college, but I declined because of the age difference (he was 16 years younger than Me) and because I really felt he needed to experience more of life before entering into 24/7 servitude.  After hearing of My decision, he then decided to take a job in Los Angeles, near his family.  Of course, I granted him release and wished him well in life.  I didn't feel long distance would work and encouraged him to search for a Mistress there.  W/we are on good terms and still stay in touch from time to time.  He will always hold a special place in My heart.
 
The last time was far more hurtful and to this day I still don't fully understand it.  I really have no desire to stay in contact with this individual, so I don't.  It's a situation where I can't see us ever being friends.   It wasn't the first time he pulled this number, and yes I was forewarned, so I can't honestly say it was that big of a surprise.  You expressed it well when you said that you don't want a sub to stay with You if he doesn't want to be with You.  That is exactly how I felt, so he was granted release after 2 1/2 years.  The last thing I would ever want is someone staying with Me who didn't want to.
 
I have been on the other side of the fence as well, so I can relate to how the sub feels.  I started out in the lifestyle as a bottom (to say I was a submissive would be too big of a stretch).  Being that this was trying to fit a square peg into a round hole and never really worked very well, I requested release from My first Dominant after a year.  He was quite hateful about it, to the point of stalking and harassment.  After that experience, I always vowed to Myself that if a sub wanted release, I would willingly grant it, as I have no desire to keep someone where they don't want to be.  And I would certainly never stoop to the level of stalking them or harassing them.
 
You are making the right decision in letting him go.  It will be less hurtful in time.
 
Lady Topaz


(in reply to LadyDarling)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Slave asked to be released - 8/31/2006 2:26:28 AM   
mons


Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline 		greeting ladyd
 
wow i am so sorry so sorry this is something i would not want to go through again.
i had a wonder pup he was so sweet he was from itlay and we had a wonderful relationship but i have learn since many slave want a tough domme i was not that type we would go to his place he would cook, then i sense it but i just thought it was nothing but he came to me and ask to be with anothe domme who was very different then i he wanted me as how i am and wanted her for what she was i was so hurt i never let him see so i let him go i could not with the proud i have , keep him so he was sad and he was going to come back i could not believe it i said no i miss him but i have to have truth in this relaitionship.
i feel for you so we have as domme still have feeling which some think we do not human us what we are. please take time to heal. take care
 
mons

(in reply to LadyDarling)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Slave asked to be released - 8/31/2006 8:02:24 AM   
PhDslave


Posts: 74
Joined: 9/24/2005
Status: offline 		Lady Darling,

Since i live about a thousand miles too far and am about a hundred years too old, i can only offer a bit of solace. i know at times like this it doesn't help much.

i found your profile absolutely delightful: educated, thoughtful, kind, creative.  There are scads of guys who would be lucky to be with you in any capacity. DO NOT LOSE CONFIDENCE. You have plenty to offer a man.  















(in reply to mons)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Slave asked to be released - 8/31/2006 3:14:08 PM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyDarling

My boy recently came to me and confessed that he had gotten back together with his old girlfriend, whom he was still in love with, and asked to be released (we are long distance).  My heart is broken.  I know I have to let him go because it is what is right for him and I don't want him to stay with me if he doesn't want to be with me, but it still hurts.  Have you ever had a slave ask to be released before?  What did you do?

I've been there.  In late 2001, my slave (a NYC cop) went batshit after the 9/11 incident and decided to clean his life of everything that meant anything, including his family, friends, and me. There was no choice or no....'oh my god, what do I do?'  I moved out, and grieved.  He was my partner, my slave, my co-conspirator, my lover and my best friend.  He's certainly raised the bar for those who follow him, as he was an exceptional person, a loyal pet and one hell of a partner in my life. 

I survived.  You will too.  Don't rush things, and don't be surprised that when you try to go out there and start all over again that it's NOT EASY and that it will bring back your sadness or feelings of loss.  Make them positive memories, things to learn from, benchmarks to hold someone else to, and move forward.  What else would you do? 

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to LadyDarling)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Slave asked to be released - 9/1/2006 11:28:19 AM   
felicitousdove


Posts: 45
Joined: 8/7/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		i am sorry for your loss. It is not easy on either the Dominant side when one asks to be released... and as i recently found out- it is not easy on the side of the slave, who after 6yrs of loving service to her Dom/Master asks him for a release.
To make it even harder- i am still a slave, though an uncollared one now- at my own choice. But i am still living as His wife. In many ways being a slave was easier. In some ways it was harder. But i would rather be collared for the right reasons than collared for the wrong ones.

_____________________________

"I have often heard the phrse: ‘Sub/slaves are a reflection of their Dominants.’ So if our Dominants are strong, assertive, decisive, fully capable human beings, why should we as slaves be any different?"
~felicitous dove {MH}


(in reply to LadyDarling)
Profile   Post #: 11
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