RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relationship?

RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relationship? (Full Version)

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Elegant -> RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relationship? (8/28/2006 2:19:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: popeye1250 Elegant, I would certainly HOPE that you could have a Master/slave relationship which is also a loving relationship. I did not say it could not be done (love and an M/s relationship) but I did say that love is sometimes a barrier in our M/s relationship. quote: I think that if you find someone and you both enjoy each other's company during the M/s activities and that person were living with you say, that over the course of some time that the two of you would very naturally grow closer and want to be with one another. S/m is 'activity'. I don't consider a Master/slave relationship an 'activity', it is who we are. quote: I wouldn't want to be in a M/s relationship where I didn't care for the person! lol Caring for a person and romantic love are two different emotions. I care about my friends, I care for my stepmother...I love my children (non-romantic) and I love Master Archer (romantic) quote: I think that as a relationship matures you can't help getting closer to the other person. An M/s relationship is after all, a very intimate relationship just by it's very nature. Again, an emotion that does not equate to love. quote: When a sub agrees to become involved with a Master, just that in itself is a stepping-stone committment. But the commitment does not always mean love is part of the relationship. quote: Many people, in this site even have fallen in love! Master and I married 3 years ago...after i was collared for 5 years. quote: I could go on and on but I just don't think that having a B&D relationship and falling in love are incompatable at all. Repeat: I never said they were incompatable. Also, B& D relationships are NOT the same as M/s relationship.

popeye1250 -> RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relationship? (8/28/2006 3:46:32 PM)
Elegant, you're right I totally misread your post. I was running on 2 hours sleep lastnight. I also started a "new" post that I also put on the board two weeks ago! Two different threads asking the same question!

abqdev34 -> RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relationship? (8/28/2006 4:25:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: liljeanti For me it would be trust above all, and second for him to understand me and me to understand him. I think you hit the head of that nail perfectly. For me trust is the bedrock that allows everything else to spring forth. When you can trust someone, honesty is without question, passion can be unrestrained, barriers fall by the wayside, communication is open and easy, and one can find comfort and peace within a place that is special and secure.

LotusSong -> RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relationship? (8/28/2006 4:57:27 PM)
For me.. it's chocolate covered carmels from the Rock Mountain Chocolate Factory.

SusanofO -> RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relationship? (8/28/2006 5:05:02 PM)
LotusSong: Ha! Me, too! [:D] - Susan

Sinergy -> RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relationship? (8/28/2006 5:15:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lashra Out of all of those trust is the key as with any relationship. ~Lashra Hello A/all, While I would tend to agree with this, my experience is that most people I have been involved with are somewhat lacking in the ability to be trusting. What seems to pass for "trust" is, instead, a passionate desire they have had to fit the actual situation to fill their expectation that they will be lied to. I know most of us probably have reasons to mistrust other people, but I prefer to live my life with my rose-colored glasses on and simply go on the assumption that this person will be worthy of my trust. Spending my life suspiciously eyeing people, knowing deep down inside that their entire goal is to screw me over, is not the way I choose to experience my life. Just me, etc. Sinergy

SusanofO -> RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relationship? (8/28/2006 5:18:20 PM)
Thanks for your reply, Sinergy. - Susan

Windygal -> RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relationship? (8/28/2006 5:25:42 PM)
Someone who can remember I like chocolate ice cream, and I DISLIKE chocolate CHIP ice cream. Someone who does little things that show they are thinking of Me. subs and friends and family included. Miss Diane aka Windygal

SusanofO -> RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relationship? (8/28/2006 5:27:37 PM)
Yeah - little things show someone cares, I agree. - Susan

LadyJulieAnn -> RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relationship? (8/28/2006 6:17:45 PM)
For me, it's the level of comfort that capturedlad and I have with each other. It's also the support that we give each other in all areas of our lives. The foundation of our loving relationship transcends whether or not BDSM is involved, but it was through BDSM that we met. [:)] Be well, Julie

Archer -> RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relationship? (8/28/2006 8:47:16 PM)
Love can get in the way of discipline, as those with children see when it comes to having to discipline our kids, it's easier (short term) on our hearts to simply let it slide. The same idea applies in a D/s M/s relationship it is easier on our dominant hearts short term to let things slide (not talking about play punishments here but real structured relationship discipline). While the slave may tell us in all honesty that their love is not conditional on us not ordering them to do something they dislike, there is often that little nagging doubt that lurks in the back of ones mind saying If you make her do this she's not going to love you anymore. The fear of love being withdrawn is another way love can get in the way. These are by no means insurmountable obsticals, but the are real concerns that long term D/s M/s couples who have love as a component they value in their relationship will have to come to terms with.

Archer -> RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relationship? (8/28/2006 8:51:43 PM)
Personally my goal is first that the relationship be fullfilling and lasting, loving and special and such will occure naturally. The thing that I have found of utmost importance to maintaining the long term M/s relationship though is Commitment. Commitment to the relationship working will force you to get all those things mentioned above that make it special and fullfilling and loving, whatever is important to the couple in question. Commitment of both parties to the relationship in more than just words or cerrimony but commitmen that takes on daily weekly monthlyy action towards amking it work.

marieToo -> RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relationship? (8/28/2006 8:59:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SusanofO I stated it in my initial paragraph - a feeling the person knows me well enough to "read me" without even needing to verbalize/speak to me, at times - (and uses that knowledge to nurture our relationship - this last added in a later paragraph). Thanks for the reply, Marie. - Susan Im sorry, Susan. Sometimes I read too damn fast. :)

marieToo -> RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relationship? (8/28/2006 9:01:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ExSteelAgain quote: ORIGINAL: SusanofO Nobody's gonna replace you, ExSteel - don't worry. Do you have any insightful comments on the original question? [:)] - Susan Susan, I tried on this one, but can't come up with anything that hasn't been said well. It is such a vast topic with millions of words having been written about love which is what I see your post is about. Speech! Speech! Speech!

Caitriona -> RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relationship? (8/28/2006 11:56:59 PM)
I can't begin to narrow it down to one single attribute. I think it's many things: Trust Vulnerability Compassion Honesty Communication

mons -> RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relationship? (8/29/2006 1:37:35 AM)
*greeting susanofo* *i have one thing that counts more the anything else* *trust that makes is sexy wanting ans exciting* *mons [&:]*

SusanofO -> RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relationship? (8/29/2006 4:20:07 AM)
Thanks for the replies, everyone. - Susan

OriginalWench -> RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relationship? (8/29/2006 4:34:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mstrjx See, now here you're think I'm going to be silly. But I'm not. All the things you mention: communication, trust, honesty, commitment (which you didn't mention), respect, knowing the other person, ease (including silence) ... these are things I bring to the table any time I walk into a room. You can choose to believe that or not. So let's make this interesting. I'll supply all of the above if you can bring one thing. That's all. One thing. Good luck. Pumpkin ice cream. Jeff Ooh, if I weren't already head over heels... I'd SO offer to take you up on that! I love pumpkin ice cream. Poo, now I'm gonna hafta go get some tomorrow.

mstrjx -> RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relationship? (8/29/2006 6:33:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OriginalWench quote: ORIGINAL: mstrjx See, now here you're think I'm going to be silly. But I'm not. All the things you mention: communication, trust, honesty, commitment (which you didn't mention), respect, knowing the other person, ease (including silence) ... these are things I bring to the table any time I walk into a room. You can choose to believe that or not. So let's make this interesting. I'll supply all of the above if you can bring one thing. That's all. One thing. Good luck. Pumpkin ice cream. Jeff Ooh, if I weren't already head over heels... I'd SO offer to take you up on that! I love pumpkin ice cream. Poo, now I'm gonna hafta go get some tomorrow. Wow. Someone called me on my point. I grew up in the suburbs of Cincinnati. My parents had relatives (which means I suppose I had the same relatives) in Middletown, OH. There was a mom-and-pop ice cream store that they visited once or twice that I recall. Eaton's or something like that. Started with an 'E'. Never, not once, have I seen pumpkin ice cream since I was in single-digits. I'm 45 now. (It rather makes you wonder why I offered that up in my response, hmm?) So, where on Earth do they still have pumpkin ice cream? I see from your profile you live in Pennsylvania, maybe it's a sorta-kinda Midwest thing. Bah, it's not on my diet anyway. Jeff

SexyRed -> RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relationship? (8/29/2006 9:28:49 PM)
There is not one thing that makes for a loving BDSM relationship. For me, a passionate connection that draws us to each other with a vengeance, combined with intellectual compatibility, complete trust and open communication. shared laughter and commitment.

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