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RE: Munches/ Meetings... - 8/27/2006 6:15:27 AM

MasterNdorei

Posts: 658
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

One thing that makes going to a munch very different than going to a movie is that at a munch one is expected to interact with people. i have gone many places alone without hesitation, but lifestyle events are very different, even the supposedly harmless "munch.

Will you have a better or worse time being alone? i think it depends on who you are, and the group. The events and munches in your area may be managed well, but that is not the case everywhere.

i had great experiences when i was new and going to places alone, but i have seen and heard of several (all women) who had very bad experiences at their first events, and many other girls who were merely "creeped out" by how hard they were hit on by total strangers at their first group event. In every instance the newbie no longer continued their search with the said group. If one is new to the scene i think it is a good idea to connect in advance with someone in the group, preferably the leader. If you already know the ropes, you have an advantage.

Be Well~*
Master's dorei

(in reply to Reflectivesoul)

Post #: 21

RE: Munches/ Meetings... - 8/27/2006 8:26:25 AM

Reflectivesoul

Posts: 1777
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline

All women really? wow..

When I started this it was a boys post that had spawned the thought, I would have thought that more fellas would have said the same thing he did... oops lol.

_____________________________

ooooo..I bet THATS gonna leave a mark!!!!

Equal opportunity pisser on-er ... heh..

Gimme some crayons, I want color and I want it now DAMNIT!

(in reply to MasterNdorei)

Post #: 22

RE: Munches/ Meetings... - 8/27/2006 8:41:26 AM

SCORPIOXXX

Posts: 223
Joined: 11/6/2004
Status: offline

I have gone to a few Munches in the SF Bay Area, organized by peoople in another site (you know, the one from which there are so many refugees here, lol...) Generally, they were mostly populated by couples -- and me being single and picky, that didn't do much for actually finding a long term partner (which I am looking for). All the same, socializing is always fun... But there was one Munch that really turned me off with the participants' rudeness: I walk in, introduce myself with my usual cheery smile; one or two people looked up, but nobody said so much as one word or offered an invitation to take a seat! I have met farm animals with better manners...

There aren't many Collarme mebers in the SF area; if any want to start a local Munch of our own: write me and let's get to it!

(in reply to Reflectivesoul)

Post #: 23

RE: Munches/ Meetings... - 8/27/2006 8:51:24 AM

Homestead

Posts: 1005
Status: offline

I don't like politics and cliques. Makes me avoid public scenes.

(in reply to SCORPIOXXX)

Post #: 24

RE: Munches/ Meetings... - 8/27/2006 8:52:11 AM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

As Emily Litella of Saturday Night Live used to say: "Well now.. that's Different! .. Never mind..:)

P.S. I grew up in Elyria :) I know what you mean about Akron.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Reflectivesoul

porcelaine

I think people may have gotten a WAY WRONG idea here.

1.) I dont need someone else to hold my hand... I havent gone because I havent had time and it hasnt been a possibility because I dont have transportation at the exact moment.

2.) I could have gone a few times with friends of mine that attend the meetings regularly, but didnt have time available to go.

3.) I usually go everywhere on my own but given the current circumstances that isnt gonna happen.

4.) The neighborhood where the group meets is NOT the besta nd I wouldnt leave my worst enemies car there let alone my own ( if I had it back *sighs* )

5.) when I initially started this thread it was about someone else entirely... I have my own plans set up but when I thought something interesting had been said in another forum I decided to ask everyone their experience on it. It need not be turned into a thing about how sad someone is or how they need someone to hold hands yadda yadda, but then again if someone had asked or taken what was said for what was meant they'd know that already...

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to Reflectivesoul)

Post #: 25

RE: Munches/ Meetings... - 8/27/2006 9:45:06 AM

OriginalWench

Posts: 39
Joined: 3/23/2006
Status: offline

Hi there ReflectiveSoul *waves from the PA side*

I have joined the PR yahoo list, but have yet to be able to attend anything. The Mate and I have just been so freaking busy. Anyhow, nice to kind of meet you.

I guess since each person is different, and each situation is different, there is no real way to give any stock answer. It's all up to to each person to figure out what makes them comfortable, yet isn't rude or offputting to the folks you're meeting. So there you have my vague answer.

_____________________________

"I have a mind like a steel trap; it is rusty and illegal in 47 states."
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(in reply to MasterNdorei)

Post #: 26

RE: Munches/ Meetings... - 8/27/2006 9:57:47 AM

ToServeIsToLive

Posts: 222
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline

The first time I went to a munch I was alone. The second and subsiquent times I went with people I meet at the munch. Going with friends was more fun, but it might have had more to do with the fact that I'm always nervous around people I don't know so the times after the first weren't nearly as bad in that respect.

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 27

RE: Munches/ Meetings... - 8/27/2006 10:06:05 AM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline

The first local munch I went to here in the area I am now, I did not know one person there. I had 'met' someone via CM (waves to A) but we had not offically 'met' until that night.

I ended up co-hosting from my second visit, so I guess I must have just jumped in head first.

But they are a great bunch of people anyway - so there you go. I was just fortunate.

Peace and Rapture

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to Reflectivesoul)

Post #: 28

RE: Munches/ Meetings... - 8/28/2006 6:17:22 AM

wandersalone

Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline

I was terrified about attending my first munch a number of years ago....I knew some of the people through the internet already but had not met any of them. The two people who were organising the munch kindly agreed to meet me 15 minutes early in the car park so I didn't even have to walk in the pub alone... smiles. It was a great experience and I have continued to attend the munches here ever since, albeit on a very irregular basis. The faces have changed but the people are just as welcoming. I invite people from here to the munches and if they arrive, I make a point of introducing them around to others and make them feel welcome.

(in reply to Reflectivesoul)

Post #: 29

RE: Munches/ Meetings... - 8/28/2006 6:25:47 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

If I spot someone on one of the sites I frequent saying they are going to a Munch or event that I will be at and they are worried because it is their first. I often drop them a note telling them to not be too shy to come over and say Hi, pointing out that I never mind meeting new folks EVEN IF I appear to be in conversation with other folks. (It is a munch, chatting to maybe people is what I DO at a munch. If I have something private to discuss with someone then I'll take them aside somewhere a little quieter. So someone new isn't likely to be interupting anything important).

Once they are in the swing of making that little bit of effort to break the ice and introduce themself to folks rather than playing wallflower, they usualy have a good time.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to Reflectivesoul)

Post #: 30

RE: Munches/ Meetings... - 8/28/2006 6:32:56 AM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline

It makes no difference to me of course a lot of times when I go out to eat I'm alone anyway.
I do a lot of things alone, the beach, restaurants, the Mall.
But I'm a guy and it's different for a woman.
The last Munch I was at one of the head Dominant of the group's (treasurer?) submissive kept hitting on me and it was kind of touchy because that was the first time I had met them.
We had a long table in the restaurant with about 20 some odd people and I mean she kept (Staring) at me all through dinner.
I went to the bar to smoke a ciggy and she and another sub followed me in there and started talking.
I didn't know if they were poly or not.

(in reply to wandersalone)

Post #: 31

RE: Munches/ Meetings... - 8/28/2006 6:44:47 AM

TVMistressHelen

Posts: 22
Joined: 8/26/2005
From: London, UK
Status: offline

I don't do munches as you can't dress up at them but the local monthly fetish market is as good as a munch so I go there.

By the way, how do I change my forum pic to that of my profile pic? The blue suit pic is way out of date.

(in reply to popeye1250)

Post #: 32

RE: Munches/ Meetings... - 8/28/2006 6:52:29 AM

barbiealto

Posts: 39
Joined: 12/7/2005
From: Norfolk UK
Status: offline

In my part of the world, Norwich Norfolk UK we have a system whereby any member of the ' munch group' (which is held once a month ) can call a 'mini munch' where a few of us go to the venue where the main munch is held and have a mini munch! newbies are very welcome to come along alone or with others and its a good introduction to the munches. In fact we have one on wednesday this week! it is just a nice opportunity to meet informally in a small group and newbies can arrange to be met outside if need be! we always have chocolate at the table and therefore people know who we are and do not embarrass themselves by having to ask!!

(in reply to Reflectivesoul)

Post #: 33

RE: Munches/ Meetings... - 8/28/2006 7:08:46 AM

MzTlaz

Posts: 140
Joined: 8/8/2006
Status: offline

A friend took me to my first munch and even then I felt like fresh meat to a school of pirhana! One guy actually pulled me off my chair in his exhuberance to meet me.   I tend to just get amused but I could see how that kind of thing could freak a person out.

I have attended munches on my own and gone to new groups on my own, I think you just have to keep your sense of humor and not take offense too easily. I do find going to new places/groups easier if I am in full Domme mode, i.e. a little on the scary side, as it seems to cut down the number of boys offering their services and lets the male dominants know I'm not just a piece of fresh meat for them to chew on.....because, unfortunately, I find the Doms often have the worst behaviour towards any new female.   If I were a sub I would definitely want to go to a munch with someone I knew!

Actually, I'm scheduled to go to a new munch on Friday, and the person I was going to attend with has a schedule problem so it looks like I'll be on my own, though I may know one or two people there.   So....if anyone attends the Sin City munch in Vegas and sees a new face, I'm a slim redhead with an English accent....come say "hi".

(in reply to barbiealto)

Post #: 34

RE: Munches/ Meetings... - 8/28/2006 7:18:31 AM

pup75

Posts: 112
Joined: 5/1/2006
Status: offline

Zumala and I have been to a couple of munches down here in TX, both times as a couple. In both cases the other attendees were very friendly and involved us immediately. We were especially impressed with one of the groups in Austin, which gave us information about multiple other events both there and closer to where we live. While we were welcomed to the play parties (which we haven't yet had the guts to attend! ;-), they had no hesitation inviting us to clothed, non-play events at members' homes, such as toy-making sessions and chats on dominance and submission.

Neither of us has tried going as a single, but we've heard the experience can be vastly different. Women are approached more, which is not always a good thing, and men (especially submissive ones) can be considered a dime a dozen and have no luck meeting anyone at all. I think going as a couple helped make the visit more successful and helped us feel more comfortable.

pup75

(in reply to Reflectivesoul)

Post #: 35

RE: Munches/ Meetings... - 8/28/2006 7:37:06 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

FR:

I'll add that it pisses me off when someone suggests a female should NOT go to a munch or party alone. And I've actually heard that MANY times while I've been in the scene.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to pup75)

Post #: 36

RE: Munches/ Meetings... - 8/28/2006 7:41:54 AM

barbiealto

Posts: 39
Joined: 12/7/2005
From: Norfolk UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TVMistressHelen

I don't do munches as you can't dress up at them but the local monthly fetish market is as good as a munch so I go there.

By the way, how do I change my forum pic to that of my profile pic? The blue suit pic is way out of date.

you can dress up at our munches!

(in reply to TVMistressHelen)

Post #: 37

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