Munches/ Meetings... (Full Version)

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Reflectivesoul -> Munches/ Meetings... (8/26/2006 6:59:19 PM)

Ok my questions spawns from one of the replies in the Ask a Mistress thread. One of the boys replied that he had an easier time with people when he attended with a Mistress than on his own. How many of you feel that you have had a better/worse time when you were with someone than alone?
 
As for me, I am waiting to attend the Purple Rose until I can go with a group of friends, I would rather go and know that I wouldnt possibly face having that "left out" feeling or just getting bored, so I'm going with a group to ensure I'll have someone to pester heh.
 
I know we have discussed munches and such before but I cant recall if this exact subject had been covered... I know we covered some fears about attending a first munch and breaking the ice so to speak....



Tristan -> RE: Munches/ Meetings... (8/26/2006 7:06:00 PM)

I definately prefer to attend with someone I know.  I normally don't have any trouble talking to or meeting people.  However, munches are a little different.  I find it much harder to get to know people when alone.  I think there might be a reservation that many people have not knowing if you are trying to pick them up or just talk as friends.



bandit25 -> RE: Munches/ Meetings... (8/26/2006 7:09:55 PM)

I think you're right Tristan.  It's kind of hard to tell at times.



Reflectivesoul -> RE: Munches/ Meetings... (8/26/2006 7:13:05 PM)

Tristan thanks for the reply. I kind of figured that the nature of the beast would make it a bit more difficult to go on ones own than to go with a group, for the reason you stated.  I think too that it would be much more comfortable to break the ice with friends, instead of trying to stab at an iceberg on your own with a spoon lol.
 
<edited to add... howdy neighbor > heh



LotusSong -> RE: Munches/ Meetings... (8/26/2006 7:15:32 PM)

The most enjoyable way to approach a munch.. is to go without any expectations :)



Reflectivesoul -> RE: Munches/ Meetings... (8/26/2006 7:17:23 PM)

Good point, I've heard that said before as well, so that you keep from setting up some kind of either seriously scary senario or an overwhelming one, only to find that neither are true...



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Munches/ Meetings... (8/26/2006 7:21:10 PM)

I can do both and have fun, but yes, any sort of social event is better with people you already know, and people you can really connect with.



WetHotGoddess -> RE: Munches/ Meetings... (8/26/2006 7:21:52 PM)

I think the best way to attend your first munch is to go alone.  When people go together they tend to splinter off and talk to each other.. (unless one of them knows the other people)
 



nefertari -> RE: Munches/ Meetings... (8/26/2006 7:25:29 PM)

I prefer to go with someone I know. Not only do I not want others to think I am there to "pick up" someone, I don't want others to think that I am there to be picked up.   And as LotusSong said, it is best to not have expectations.



Windygal -> RE: Munches/ Meetings... (8/26/2006 7:38:53 PM)

I have attended munches from two seperate groups, I have gone alone all times. There have been as many as 12 ppl there once, and as few as one, never can tell who will show up. Hard to talk to anyone in a restaurant, and without a theme or leader, tho.

Windygal



juliaoceania -> RE: Munches/ Meetings... (8/26/2006 7:56:06 PM)

If I had chosen to attend a munch in my community then I know one dominant that is local to me on a friends only basis that was already a member of the local scene. I have chosen not to involve myself because I do not plan on being here for the longterm. I have never heard anything negative about the local community, and they seem very nice.



MasterNdorei -> RE: Munches/ Meetings... (8/26/2006 7:56:11 PM)

My only suggestion is that if you are shy, or  uncertain, to connect with someone who already attends, even if you have not met them, so you have someone to look forward to meeting, and to make introductions. i also think groups tend ot be much friendlier to women who attend alone than to men.... just my observation...



SweetEscravo -> RE: Munches/ Meetings... (8/26/2006 8:50:53 PM)

Purple rose is located in Kent, Ohio right?  Or am I completely off the mark here?



mistoferin -> RE: Munches/ Meetings... (8/26/2006 9:13:59 PM)

The only time that I have ever really given this much thought is right after the breakup between my ex Master and I. For some reason I was suddenly intimidated by going alone....which was silly really because once I get there I know everyone except for the new folks.

It doesn't really matter to me how I go. I have fun either way.



mystiquenz -> RE: Munches/ Meetings... (8/26/2006 9:15:52 PM)

[image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m20.gif[/image] munches and things[image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m20.gif[/image]

In some regions, and ours is one of them, you can make contact with the list via email, ask to meet with a committee member prior to the munch night, and that way, the ice is broken over a  cup of coffee or a cup of tea. 

Other groups that i know of, ensure that a pre meeting is arranged before new people go, to ensure that their selective group is maintained (that's another centre), and I don't think it is the norm. 

In my opinion, going with a group of friends, that are not known to the local group, could be overwhelming for that group.  People on these shores, at least, are very welcoming of new faces, try and put a new person at ease, and are generally welcoming. 

There are two groups that I visit on occasion, one is some distance, and the other one is a smaller group.  Regardless, munches are for A/all, they are friendly, and welcoming.  The only barriers are ours, when we don't make the effort. 

So ... I would be inclined to go with one friend, to hold your hand, if you needed that, but try to ensure that you mingle with the others.  We all have to take responsibility for O/ourselves, so if people think the munch group are not welcoming, I would ask, did they make the effort, to go and say hello.  It works both ways.

I am an advocate for people getting off line, and attending local events, why, because online is a real good place for fantasy.  Reality starts with the social intermingling. 

Good luck as you move forward through those doors.  Just remember, an established group, can be protective of their own, but you should be welcomed. 




LotusSong -> RE: Munches/ Meetings... (8/26/2006 9:20:19 PM)

Another thing to consider going with a group of people.. the members of the munch might think you are involved with them in a relationship and therefore unavailable.. just a thought.  There is no easy answer to this one.  Just go and have fun with or without :)



Reflectivesoul -> RE: Munches/ Meetings... (8/26/2006 9:20:57 PM)

Purple Rose is in Akron



Reflectivesoul -> RE: Munches/ Meetings... (8/26/2006 9:23:29 PM)

I should have been a bit more specific sorry.... the group I am going with are already members of the munch, so I'd be the only newbie attending with them, unless I take someone with me personally...
 
I should note too that I have already spoken with the Fella that runs the group.. I got a personal invite to attend, just havent meshed well on timing yet... ugh...



porcelaine -> RE: Munches/ Meetings... (8/26/2006 10:38:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Reflectivesoul

I know we have discussed munches and such before but I cant recall if this exact subject had been covered... I know we covered some fears about attending a first munch and breaking the ice so to speak....


My theory is simple. I was born alone and you know how the rest of the saying goes. If I put my life on hold until someone was able to do this or that very little would be accomplished. I have no problem attending events alone. I don't feel that I need to have someone sharing company with me or holding my hand either. Whenever I hear these things I always wonder how much that person is missing out on while they're at home waiting. Strangely enough it seems to be a common theme in this lifestyle. That baffles me but I suppose I'm just a little different. However, the same holds true for supposedly vanilla events as well. If there's a movie I wish to see I will go and so on. Life is meant to be experienced whether we have someone walking alongside.

porcelaine



Reflectivesoul -> RE: Munches/ Meetings... (8/26/2006 11:35:25 PM)

porcelaine
 
I think people may have gotten a WAY WRONG idea here.
 
1.) I dont need someone else to hold my hand... I havent gone because I havent had time and it hasnt been a possibility because I dont have transportation at the exact moment.
 
2.) I could have gone a few times with friends of mine that attend the meetings regularly, but didnt have time available to go.
 
3.) I usually go everywhere on my own but given the current circumstances that isnt gonna happen.
 
4.) The neighborhood where the group meets is NOT the besta nd I wouldnt leave my worst enemies car there let alone my own ( if I had it back *sighs* )
 
5.) when I initially started this thread it was about someone else entirely... I have my own plans set up but when I thought something interesting had been said in another forum I decided to ask everyone their experience on it. It need not be turned into a thing about how sad someone is or how they need someone to hold hands yadda yadda, but then again if someone had asked or taken what was said for what was meant they'd know that already...
 



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