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RE: how do you keep it fresh? - 8/24/2006 7:07:43 PM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

liljoy, this is one area that I have never experienced a problem, although I see it happen time and time again in the relationships of my girlfriends. The only thing that I can say that I do different is that I stay proactive. I don't wait for my partner to set the mood....I actively set it often. I have a really high libido and I am not ashamed to let that be known. I'm an incurable flirt...and I carry that through the relationship. I flirt as much...sometimes even more, after years together than I did in the beginnings of the relationship. I set the tones...dinner, candles, lingerie, fetish wear. Notes in his lunch detailing what he can look forward to when he gets home from work...gets him thinking about it all day. I do the impulsive....a drive on a back country road will often times have me skinnying off my jeans and climbing up on the hood for a private performance. Serve him dinner on my stomach or the small of my back. Ask him to watch a movie with me...tell him it's "Fried Green Tomatoes" or some other movie that makes him go "ugh"....and then surprise him by popping in a new porno. If he's glued to the TV, I take the opportunity and grab a few toys and strategically place myself between him and the set....and then wait and see how long it takes to distract him....lol. I guess what I am saying is that I take an active role in working to keep it fresh. Play isn't the foundation of a good relationship....but a good relationship can be a great relationship if you do a little work to keep the fires burning.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to liljoy)

Post #: 21

RE: how do you keep it fresh? - 8/24/2006 7:22:36 PM

liljoy

Posts: 577
Joined: 3/25/2004
Status: offline

erin,
Great ideas and i did try some of them with mixed results. Sometimes he reacted well but much of the time i was accused of trying to top for the bottom.
i'll keep all those ideas in mind for the future though, thanks
lil_joy

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 22

RE: how do you keep it fresh? - 8/24/2006 7:34:44 PM

FelinePersuasion

Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

liljoy, I could never enjoy someone who accused me of topping from the bottom if I was doing things to try to interest them. I'm very fun loving, and it would stiffle my very self for any of those things erin mentioned to be considered toppin from the bottom.

(in reply to liljoy)

Post #: 23

RE: how do you keep it fresh? - 8/24/2006 7:48:48 PM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

liljoy, this is one area that I have never experienced a problem, although I see it happen time and time again in the relationships of my girlfriends. The only thing that I can say that I do different is that I stay proactive. I don't wait for my partner to set the mood....I actively set it often. I have a really high libido and I am not ashamed to let that be known. I'm an incurable flirt...and I carry that through the relationship. I flirt as much...sometimes even more, after years together than I did in the beginnings of the relationship. I set the tones...dinner, candles, lingerie, fetish wear. Notes in his lunch detailing what he can look forward to when he gets home from work...gets him thinking about it all day. I do the impulsive....a drive on a back country road will often times have me skinnying off my jeans and climbing up on the hood for a private performance. Serve him dinner on my stomach or the small of my back. Ask him to watch a movie with me...tell him it's "Fried Green Tomatoes" or some other movie that makes him go "ugh"....and then surprise him by popping in a new porno. If he's glued to the TV, I take the opportunity and grab a few toys and strategically place myself between him and the set....and then wait and see how long it takes to distract him....lol. I guess what I am saying is that I take an active role in working to keep it fresh. Play isn't the foundation of a good relationship....but a good relationship can be a great relationship if you do a little work to keep the fires burning.

Mistoferin, now THAT is a good attitude to have!

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 24

RE: how do you keep it fresh? - 8/24/2006 8:05:13 PM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: popeye1250
Mistoferin, now THAT is a good attitude to have!

Thanks popeye...it has worked well for me. While I do realize that there are some Dominants that would take offense...they are not the type of Dominants I would ever be in a serious committed relationship with. I am very upfront right from the beginning about my sexuality and my expectations in regards to it. I am not the type who would ever do well if that was squashed or stifled. If you go that extra mile to keep things "HOT"...the paybacks are great. My ex and I spent 11 wonderful years taking physical pleasure in each other on a very regular basis (an average of 10 to 14 times a week without fail). And still after all that time.....when I knew he was on his way home....I got butterflies in my stomach like a schoolgirl......

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to popeye1250)

Post #: 25

RE: how do you keep it fresh? - 8/24/2006 9:39:02 PM

MrDiscipline44

Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline

scribbles note: mistoferin = nympho = good!!!

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 26

RE: how do you keep it fresh? - 8/24/2006 9:44:11 PM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline

Mistoferin, 10-14 times per week?
Lighweights!

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)

Post #: 27

RE: how do you keep it fresh? - 8/24/2006 9:46:11 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

Being part of a long distance relationship wtill, it really isnt a problem to keep things fresh. Distance REALLY does do a lot for a relationship sometimes. When we finally do have time together, its like kids in a candy shop. We enjoy one another as much as we can for as much of the free time we can muster.
Sometimes romance helps set a mood, sometimes something a little dirtier works well too.
I can say, one of the best notes I have ever gotten was pinned to a negligee. "This looks so damn sexy in the store, I wondered how much better it could look on you... I'd love to find out tonight, I'll even beg if I have to"

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)

Post #: 28

RE: how do you keep it fresh? - 8/24/2006 9:47:29 PM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

scribbles note: mistoferin = nympho = good!!!

ok...now I'm blushing...

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)

Post #: 29

RE: how do you keep it fresh? - 8/24/2006 9:48:50 PM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: popeye1250

Mistoferin, 10-14 times per week?
Lighweights!

Dang...I thought that was pretty good! Heck I had girlfriends who told me they were only "getting it" once or twice a month!!!

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to popeye1250)

Post #: 30

RE: how do you keep it fresh? - 8/24/2006 9:51:19 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

My exhusband and I were once a month, if that often. I HATED it
He had the sex drive of a lump of old clay
I am FAR happier now, long distance aside *grin* Its a long wait, but worth it

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 31

RE: how do you keep it fresh? - 8/24/2006 10:05:48 PM

bikerslave

Posts: 8
Joined: 8/18/2006
Status: offline

hmmmm... with a record like that, I am curious as to why he is your 'ex'??:)
All kidding aside... I am in the catagory of a once- a- monther (married 20 yrs). But truth be known, I prefer it that way. Can no longer deal with the mundane, and dont have the energy to change things. I suppose if I am tired of the same old story, I gotta turn the page. Which brings me to the next chapter of my life.....
Glad I am here;)

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 32

RE: how do you keep it fresh? - 8/24/2006 10:09:12 PM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline

Once a month!?
That's cruel or maybe it's a medical problem.

(in reply to bikerslave)

Post #: 33

RE: how do you keep it fresh? - 8/24/2006 10:12:51 PM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

He's my ex for reasons that were beyond our control. If it were not complicated and we could have worked it out...I am sure that we would still be enjoying it just as much. I am not well suited for the once a month thing....I think I'd probably pop.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to bikerslave)

Post #: 34

RE: how do you keep it fresh? - 8/25/2006 3:36:09 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

Try concentrating more on the relationship and less on the play. If play is all you have then its going to get stale pretty damn fast.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to liljoy)

Post #: 35

RE: how do you keep it fresh? - 8/25/2006 6:00:27 AM

bikerslave

Posts: 8
Joined: 8/18/2006
Status: offline

Popeye... he dont ask and I dont volunteer. Just seems to be the pattern we have developed over time. Cruel? Well.... not for me. For him? I suppose if he wanted it more, he could always ask???

(in reply to popeye1250)

Post #: 36

RE: how do you keep it fresh? - 8/25/2006 6:07:26 AM

Master96

Posts: 593
Joined: 2/13/2006
Status: offline

It is like food. If you eat pasta alone for a whole month, you won’t think of pasta for a long time.

Master96,

(in reply to bikerslave)

Post #: 37

RE: how do you keep it fresh? - 8/25/2006 6:17:01 AM

zenofeller

Posts: 463
Joined: 6/10/2006
Status: offline

freezer.

(in reply to liljoy)

Post #: 38

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